My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected / My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"We're here."

Hiratsuka-sensei stopped in front of an otherwise ordinary-looking classroom.

There was no writing on the plaque beside the door.

I looked at the plaque curiously, while she simply opened the door.

Desks and chairs were piled haphazardly in one corner of the room. It seemed this place had already been turned into a storage room. Other than that, it was no different from any other classroom—just an ordinary classroom.

Still, it looked distinctly different because there was a girl inside.

The girl was reading beneath the slanting rays of the setting sun.

The sight before me was as beautiful as a painting, giving me the illusion that even if the world ended, she would remain there, reading.

My body and mind came to a complete standstill.

—I found myself staring in a daze.

Noticing someone had entered, the girl slipped a bookmark into her paperback and raised her head.

"Hiratsuka-sensei, didn't I tell you to knock before coming in?"

The girl's features were perfectly composed, and she had long black hair. Though she wore the same uniform as the other girls in class, she stood apart from them all.

"Even when I knock, you never answer."

"That's because before I have time to respond, you let yourself in."

After hearing Hiratsuka-sensei's excuse, the girl gave her an irritated look.

"And who is that person with the incredibly vacant stare?"

The girl gave me a cold once-over.

I knew who she was.

Yukino Yukinoshita of Class 2-J.

Of course, I only knew her name and face. I'd never actually spoken with her. It couldn't be helped—I hardly spoke to anyone at school to begin with.

Sobu High School had nine regular classes and one International Liberal Arts Class. The latter's academic ranking was two or three points higher than the regular classes, and most of its students had returned from overseas or planned to study abroad.

In that sparkling—no, naturally eye-catching class, Yukino Yukinoshita stood out even more.

Her grades were exceptionally good. Whether it was regular exams or mock exams, she always held the number one spot in the entire grade.

And as an added note, her rare beauty ensured that she drew everyone's attention at all times.

In short, she was the school's number one Beautiful Girl, famous throughout campus.

As for me, I was just an obscure, perfectly ordinary student.

So even if she didn't know who I was, I had no reason to be hurt. Still, being told I had an incredibly vacant stare stung a little, and I started wanting to escape reality with excuses like, Ah, there used to be a snack with a name kind of like that, but you hardly see it anymore.

"His name is Hachiman. He wants to join the club."

At Hiratsuka-sensei's introduction, I nodded to her. So I was supposed to introduce myself next, right?

"I'm Hachiman Hikigaya from Class 2-F, um... Hey! What do you mean by joining a club, Sensei?"

Which club was I joining? And what kind of club was this?

Hiratsuka-sensei seemed to notice my confusion and spoke first.

"Your punishment is to join this club. And I won't hear any arguments, resistance, protests, complaints, or backtalk. Calm down here and reflect on yourself properly."

She passed judgment with astonishing force, leaving me no room to defend myself.

"As you can see, he's an incredibly twisted person, so he's always alone. It's very pitiful."

Like you could tell that just by looking at me!

"If he learns how to get along with people, his situation should improve. Could you keep him here? I'd like you to fix his twisted, solitary personality."

After Hiratsuka-sensei turned to explain this to Yukino, she answered impatiently.

"If that's the case, then please just beat some sense into him, Sensei."

...What a terrifying woman.

"I'd like to, but things have gotten stricter lately. Teachers aren't allowed to use physical violence against students."

...She made it sound like psychological violence was perfectly fine.

"I must refuse. Looking at this boy's evil and lecherous eyes makes me feel extremely unsafe."

Yukino pulled up her perfectly neat collar and glared at me. No, I wasn't looking at her unimpressive chest... Wait, I mean it! Believe me, I really wasn't looking. I was only slightly drawn in when I happened to glance at it.

"Don't worry, Yukino. Despite his eyes and personality, he's very good at risk assessment and self-preservation. He'll never do anything that violates the criminal code. You can trust his cowardly nature."

"That's not a compliment at all... And isn't that wrong? What does it have to do with risk assessment and self-preservation? Just say I know how to use common sense."

"A coward... I see..."

"She wasn't even listening, and she accepted it..."

Whether Hiratsuka-sensei had successfully persuaded her or my cowardly personality had earned her trust, Yukino came to a conclusion I had absolutely no desire to see.

"Fine. Since it's a request from my teacher, I can't simply stand by... I'll accept."

Yukino agreed very reluctantly, while Hiratsuka-sensei smiled in satisfaction.

"Good. I'll leave him to you from here on."

After saying that, she left without looking back, abandoning me where I stood.

Honestly, I would have preferred to be left alone and ignored. The lonely environment I'd always known made me feel much more at ease. The second hand on the clock ticked away, slow yet loud.

Hey, hey, hey, this couldn't be real, could it? How had this suddenly turned into a rom-com? I felt so nervous.

The situation itself was flawless, and it reminded me of a bittersweet memory from middle school.

It had been after school, in a classroom with only two people left.

A breeze stirred the curtains, the setting sun slanted through the windows, and a boy gathered his courage to confess. Even now, I could clearly remember the words.

"Will you be my friend?"

Ah, no, that was a failed memory. And forget being friends—we never spoke even once afterward. It made me think friends didn't talk to each other at all.

Anyway, for me, a rom-com where I was shut in a room with a Beautiful Girl was something that could never happen in reality. By now, professionally trained as I was, I wouldn't fall for this kind of trap. Girls were creatures interested only in handsome guys and Normies, and they had impure relationships with them.

In other words, they were my enemies.

To keep myself from getting hurt again, I had worked hard until this day. If I didn't want to get dragged into a rom-com, the quickest way was to make girls hate me early and avoid a mutual defeat. If I wanted to protect my pride, I had to forget all about affection ratings!

So I decided to replace a greeting with a vicious glare.

Beasts killed with their eyes! Roar, roar, roar, roar!

Seeing this, Yukino glanced at me as though she had spotted filth. She narrowed her eyes, sighed coldly, then spoke to me in a voice as pleasant as a flowing stream.

"...Instead of making strange noises over there, why don't we sit down first?"

"Huh? Ah, yes. Sorry."

Whoa! What was that look? Was she a beast? That glare had killed at least five people already, right? Even Tomoko Matsushima would be devoured clean by her. Before I knew it, I had apologized.

It seemed Yukino already saw me as an enemy without waiting for my intimidation.

Uneasily, I picked a chair and sat down.

By then, Yukino had already gone back to reading her paperback, showing no sign of wanting to talk to me. The only sound in the room was the rustle of turning pages.

All paperback covers looked like that, so I couldn't tell what it was about. But judging by her image, it was probably literature by Salinger, Hemingway, Tolstoy, or someone like that.

Yukino was like a proper young lady, a model student no matter how one looked at her, and unquestionably a Beautiful Girl. Yet as was the fate of people like her, Yukino Yukinoshita was utterly out of step with everyone else. She was like snow buried deep beneath the earth, just like her name. Beautiful, yet beyond anyone's reach; all one could do was yearn for her from afar.

To be honest, I hadn't expected to somehow be given a chance to get close to her like this. If I bragged to my friends, they would surely be jealous to death—though I had no friends to brag to.

So what exactly was I supposed to do with this Beautiful Girl?

"What is it?"

Perhaps because I had stared too long, Yukino frowned unhappily and looked back at me.

"Oh, sorry. I was wondering how things ended up like this."

"Is there a problem?"

"No, it's just that I was brought here for a completely nonsensical reason."

The moment I finished speaking, Yukino snapped her book shut as though she wanted to stick out her tongue. Her displeasure was unmistakable. She glared at me as if I were some kind of insect, then finally sighed as though giving up.

"...All right, let's play a game."

"A game?"

"That's right. Let's play a game where you guess what club this is. So, what club do you think this is?"

Playing a game alone in a room with a Beautiful Girl...

Every sign made it hard not to let my imagination run wild, but Yukino's presence was anything but enticing. It was like a sharpened blade, as though losing this game would end my life as well. Where had all that rom-com atmosphere gone? Had this turned into Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor instead?!

Overwhelmed by Yukino's pressure, I wiped away cold sweat and looked around the classroom for clues.

"Are there no other club members?"

"No."

I seriously doubted a club could even exist like that.

Honestly, there wasn't a single hint.

—No, wait. Maybe everything here was a hint.

This wasn't me bragging, but I had hardly had any friends since childhood, so I was good at games you could play alone—especially gamebooks and puzzle books. I could probably win a high school quiz competition too, but since I couldn't find any teammates, I couldn't enter.

There were several things I knew for certain so far. If I put them together, the answer would naturally reveal itself.

"Is this the Literature Club?"

"Oh... Why?"

Yukino asked back with considerable interest.

"Because it doesn't require any special environment or equipment, and it won't be disbanded even if it has too few members. In other words, this club doesn't need funding. Besides, you were reading just now. The answer was obvious from the beginning."

This wasn't me bragging, but that deduction was practically flawless. Even without some bespectacled elementary schooler shouting, Huh? That's strange~~, I could solve it with ease.

Princess Yukino seemed impressed as well and let out a soft breath. But then she smiled at me with utter contempt and said:

"Wrong."

...Oh? You were starting to piss me off☆

Who said she was well-behaved and flawless? Wasn't she basically a Demon Chojin?

"Then what kind of club is this?"

My tone turned somewhat impatient, but Yukino didn't care and told me the game would continue.

"I'll give you the most obvious hint. What I'm doing right now is the club's activity."

Finally, a hint. But I was still completely lost. Based on that clue, the only thing I could think of was the Literature Club I had guessed earlier.

Wait, calm down, calm down. I needed to calm down. Hachiman Hikigaya, calm down!

She said there were no other members.

But the club could still exist.

That meant there were ghost members? Those ghost members were probably actual ghosts, and then this story would turn into a rom-com between me and a ghostly Beautiful Girl.

"Supernatural Research Club!"

"This isn't a research association."

"Supernatural Research Club!"

"Wrong... Hmph, ghosts are far too ridiculous. There's no such thing."

T-there weren't any ghosts here! I-I wasn't saying that because I was scared or anything—Yukino had none of that cute side to her. Her eyes were full of disdain, as though they were saying, Go die, idiot.

"I give up. I have absolutely no idea."

Who could possibly know the answer?! Couldn't you ask an easier question? Something like, "The house is on fire, and tears flow like a flood—guess what it is." Wait, wasn't that just a fire? Still, that wasn't a riddle. It was a trick question.