My Youth Rom-Com Is Wrong, As I Expected

I couldn't help but smile bitterly. That line had been used to death already.

Just as I was starting to get annoyed and was about to argue back, Hiratsuka-sensei stared into my eyes, shrugged, and said:

"You probably have something else you want to say, but that right there is what makes me think you have Sophomore Syndrome."

"...Is that so?"

"Don't misunderstand. I'm seriously complimenting you. I like people who don't give up thinking, though the way your personality is twisted is really quite twisted."

Her straightforward declaration that she liked me left me speechless for a moment. Hardly anyone had ever said that to me, so I didn't know how to respond.

"What do you think of Yukino Yukinoshita, with that twisted personality of yours?"

"An annoying girl."

This time, I answered without a second thought. From the bottom of my heart, I thought she was annoying—about as annoying as being mocked for changing Country Road into a cement road.

"I see."

Hiratsuka-sensei smiled bitterly.

"She's an excellent student... but everyone has their own troubles. In any case, she's a very kind girl."

How was she kind? I clicked my tongue inwardly in rebuttal.

"She must have some kind of illness too. She's always so kind and reasonable, but this world is neither kind nor reasonable. She must be having a hard time living in it."

"Setting aside whether she's kind or reasonable, at least we see the world in much the same way."

After I said that, the teacher looked at me with an expression that said, See?

"You really are both twisted. I wanted to bring you together because I was worried you wouldn't be able to adapt to society."

"This isn't an isolation ward, is it...?"

"Maybe it is. But students like you are rather interesting, and I like you. Maybe I just want to keep you close."

The teacher grinned happily, still locking her grip around my arm. This sort of mixed martial arts technique had probably come from manga too. My elbow kept making an unpleasant creaking sound as it rubbed back and forth against the teacher's ample breasts.

...Hah. My arm was completely restrained, and getting free would be difficult. It was frustrating, but for now I could only enjoy this sensation a little longer. What a damn shame.

Then I remembered that breasts came in pairs, so I should probably have used the plural earlier.

×　　　　×　　　　×

Once we arrived at the special building, the teacher apparently stopped worrying that I would run away and finally released my arm. Even as she left, however, she kept shooting me meaningful looks. It wasn't because she was reluctant to part with me, either; they were murderous hints saying, "You know what happens if you run away, right?"

I smiled bitterly and headed down the hallway.

One corner of the special building was remarkably quiet. Even the air felt cold.

There should have been other clubs at work, yet not a single noisy sound could be heard. I didn't know whether it was because of the location or the strange atmosphere radiated by that person—Yukino Yukinoshita.

To be honest, my heart felt heavy as I opened the door, but running away with my tail between my legs didn't sit well with me either.

Anyway, all I had to do was ignore whatever she said. I shouldn't think of us as two people together. She and I were each independent, completely unrelated individuals. That way, there would be nothing awkward about it, and I wouldn't feel unpleasant.

Starting today, I would put the "What's there to fear about being alone" plan into action. Rule one: regard everyone you see as a passerby. Incidentally, there was no rule two.

Simply put, the reason I felt awkward was because of compulsive thoughts like, "I have to talk to her," or, "I need to get along with this person."

When you rode the train, you didn't think, Oh no, it's just the two of us! This is so awkward, simply because someone was sitting beside you. It was the same principle.

So I didn't need to think too much. I just needed to quietly read.

I opened the clubroom door and found Yukino reading, in exactly the same posture as yesterday.

"..."

Even though I had opened the door, I had no idea what to say. For now, I greeted her in my mind and walked over.

Yukino's gaze rested on me for an instant, then returned to her paperback the next instant.

"The room is already this small, and you're still ignoring me..."

Yukino ignored me outright, making me wonder whether I had turned into air. Wasn't this just like normal life in the classroom?

"That's a strange way to greet someone. What tribe are you from?"

"...Hello."

Unable to bear Yukino's sarcasm, I switched to the greeting style I had learned in kindergarten. This time, she smiled.

This was probably the first time she had smiled at me. I noticed little details too: she had dimples when she smiled, and slightly pointed canine teeth.

"Good afternoon. I thought you would never come back."

Honestly, her smile was practically cheating—Maradona's Hand of God level cheating. I had to admit that much.

"I-I only came because running away would mean an automatic loss, so don't get the wrong idea!"

This conversation sounded a little like something from a Rom-Com, except the boy and girl's positions were reversed, weren't they?

This really wasn't working.

Yukino's mood didn't worsen at all. Or rather, she had no interest in my reaction and simply continued:

"After I said such awful things to you before, normally you wouldn't want to come back here... Could it be that you're a masochist?"

"I'm not..."

"Then are you a stalker?"

"Neither. Hey, why are you assuming that I have feelings for you?"

"Don't you?"

This woman actually tilted her head and looked confused! She was a little cute like that, but I didn't feel like I had gotten any kind of bargain.

"No! You're way too confident. Even I can't stand it."

"I see. I thought you definitely liked me."

When Yukino said that, her expression remained as cool as usual, without a trace of surprise.

Yukino really was cute. Even I, someone with nothing to do with her and no friends at school, knew who she was. She was unquestionably one of the school's most Beautiful Girls.

That said, her confidence was unusually high.

"What kind of upbringing did you have to be that optimistic? Is every day your birthday, or is your boyfriend Santa Claus?"

Otherwise, how could she be so full of herself?

If I let her keep going like that, something would eventually go wrong. It would be best to guide her back onto the right path while there was still room to turn things around.

The kind humanity hidden deep in my heart began to stir, and I carefully chose my words.

"Yukino, you're not normal. This is a massive misunderstanding. Hurry up and get a frontal lobotomy."

"For your own sake, you'd better be more careful with your wording."

Yukino looked at me with a soft "Hehehe~" laugh. The terrifying part was that her eyes weren't laughing.

Still, she hadn't called me garbage or trash or anything, so that deserved praise. Honestly, if she hadn't been cute, I would have punched her already.

"Well, from the perspective of Hikigaya-kun, who resides at the bottom, I may not seem normal. But to me, this way of thinking is perfectly normal. It's an inference based on empirical rules."

Yukino proudly puffed out her chest. It was strange; even an action like that looked elegant when she did it.

"Empirical rules, huh..."

If she could say something like that, it meant she had experience in romance, right? Looking at her appearance, that was understandable.

"Your school life must be very enjoyable."

At my muttered words, tinged with a sigh, Yukino's body suddenly stiffened.

"Y-yes. In all honesty, my school life is rather stable and peaceful."

Though she said that, her eyes drifted elsewhere for some reason. Thanks to that, I discovered that the smooth line from her jaw to her neck was very beautiful, adding another completely useless piece of knowledge to my collection.

Seeing Yukino's shifty gaze, I realized several beats too late where my blind spot had been. No—if I had calmed down, I should have noticed immediately. After all, how could a girl who looked down on everyone from on high and naturally despised others possibly build normal Interpersonal Relationships, much less enjoy a smooth and peaceful school life?

I might as well ask.

"Do you have any friends?"

The instant Yukino heard my question, she shifted her gaze away.

"Well... could you first define precisely what counts as a friend?"

"Ah, never mind. Only people without friends say things like that."

That came from personal experience.

But honestly, I didn't know what range counted as friendship either, or what separated a friend from an acquaintance. Could someone explain that to me?

Did meeting once make you friends, and meeting every day make you brothers? Mi Do Fa Do Re Si So Ra o? Why wasn't the last one a note? Could you at least keep it consistent?!

Besides, the distinction between acquaintances and friends was subtle too. Especially among girls, a single class had categories like classmates, friends, and best friends. How did those differences even arise?

Back to the point.

"Anyway, I could more or less imagine that you don't have any friends."

"Did I say I had no friends? And even if I truly didn't, it wouldn't cause me any loss."

"Oh, right. That's true, sure."

I casually brushed off Yukino's gaze.

"But you're obviously popular. Why don't you have any friends?"

No sooner had I finished speaking than Yukino unhappily looked away again.

"...You definitely wouldn't understand."

Her cheeks seemed to puff out slightly.

It was true that Yukino and I were completely different, so there was no way I could know what she was thinking. Even if she told me, I would probably have trouble understanding. No matter where you went, people could never truly understand one another.

Still, I could understand Yukino's loneliness.

"It's not that I don't understand what you mean. After all, you can be happy alone. The idea that you have to force yourself to be with others is the pathetic one."

"..."

After glancing at me, Yukino immediately turned forward again and closed her eyes, apparently thinking about something.

"You like being alone, yet other people pity you without being asked. That feeling is unpleasant, isn't it? I get it. I get it."

"Why am I being treated as the same kind as someone like you... It's truly irritating."

As though trying to hide her displeasure, Yukino swept back her hair.

"Though there's a huge difference in our levels, we are somewhat alike in liking solitude."

After saying that, Yukino added, "Which makes me a little frustrated," then smiled as though mocking herself. Her smile was somewhat gloomy, but quite calm.

"What do you mean, a huge difference in our levels...? I have unique insights into loneliness. Calling me the Master of Loneliness would not be an exaggeration. Someone at your level trying to discuss loneliness would make people laugh their heads off."

"What's with that confidence steeped in tragedy...?"

Yukino's face was filled with shock and speechlessness. Seeing that expression on her gave me an unexpected sense of accomplishment, so I declared in a triumphant tone:

"You're popular, yet you're over there talking about loneliness. That's just too underhanded."

But Yukino responded with a smile of contempt.

"What simple thinking. Do you live solely on spinal reflexes? Do you understand what being popular means? Oh dear, you don't have that kind of experience, do you? How thoughtless of me. I'm terribly sorry."

"If you're going to be thoughtful, could you think things through properly...?"

Was this what it meant to be two-faced? She really was an annoying girl.

"Then what exactly does being popular mean?"

Yukino closed her eyes, thought briefly about my question, then cleared her throat and spoke.

"For someone who has never been popular, this may be a little painful to hear."

"It's already painful. Don't worry."

Then Yukino took a deep breath.

My mood couldn't get any worse anyway. The earlier conversation had made me feel as though I had eaten a bowl of Jumbo Ramen and was stuffed beyond capacity.

"I've been cute since I was little, and all the boys around me had feelings for me."