How Am I Still Alive?
Chapter 7

Secret Keepers

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26d ago

Before dawn, a group of people moved silently along a mountain path that should have been beautiful in daylight.

The procession in black remained silent, thirteen brown coffins resting steadily and lightly on their shoulders.

Crack!

The remote hill was not very high, and the funeral procession soon reached the summit.

Shovelful after shovelful, sand and gravel fell into the pits, burying the empty coffins one by one.

Other than the few people in black wielding shovels, everyone else merely watched in silence. There was no gun salute, no music.

Secret Keepers had no need for such extraneous things. They understood very well what death meant.

What they feared was that death did not end everything.

As always, the coffins were empty. Most Secret Keepers were themselves major sources of pollution, and their bodies had long since been destroyed.

The clothes in their cenotaphs could not have been worn too often. Grave robbers all knew there was nothing in a Secret Keeper's grave.

Perhaps I'll be buried here soon, too.

Watching the earth pour into the deep pit, Xia Qin felt somewhat dazed.

She could see gravestones standing one after another on the other hills.

It seemed the Bureau would have to find another hill before long.

"Salute."

The officiant's voice interrupted Xia Qin's thoughts.

The synchronized salute ended, and with it, the ceremony.

There wasn't even a eulogy? For the polluted, words themselves were a kind of curse.

Past experience had proven that if the heartfelt eulogies of "the polluted" accumulated in sufficient number, they too would become pollution—highly lethal pollution.

"Rest in peace."

"Brother, we'll drink together in the next life."

Rules were rules, but people were people. The Secret Keepers quietly offered their own blessings.

And among all those "blessings," the most common was still:

"I'll remember you."

Information was itself a form of pollution. Remembering the lives of fallen comrades was probably the only thing fellow polluted could do.

"I'll remember you all—Xiao Min, Xie Wancheng, A Long, Min TeAn..."

Four of the thirteen coffins belonged to Zion District's Third Squad.

The squad had originally been staffed for ten. After this incident, two more had "retired," leaving Captain Xia Qin with only two subordinates.

Vice Captain Xia Qin had been promoted to full captain. The emergency notice had just arrived.

The former captain had died in battle, and most other squads had vacant positions as well. There simply were no captains available to transfer in.

Most other squads were in the same state. The Seventh Squad had been disbanded outright, its members distributed among the other squads.

A vice captain with relatively little seniority had been promoted directly to captain without an examination. That meant the Bureau was desperately short of personnel, and Ancient City's official combat strength had declined once again.

"Troubled times..."

Looking at the buried coffins, Xia Qin naturally recalled the Tier ZZZ Pollution Incident from half a month ago—the night that had nearly wiped out the Third Squad.

An arena sculpted from White Jade. Delighted holy beasts on the podium, all manner of monsters and demons in the stands, and pitiful humans as the performers.

Two Secret Keepers were engaged in a brutal fight, firearms and longswords creating wounds and pestilence.

The older one clutched his wounded chest, forced into a corner by his younger apprentice.

The Secret Realm's rules were simple and brutal. The first was that pairs had to fight. The victor lived; the weak died.

The selected master and apprentice slaughtered each other for the single chance to survive.

"Great Mother Tree, I, Rust Axe Le Yun, am willing to offer ten years of my lifespan in exchange for power."

But how could the weak simply accept death? He prayed to the Mother Tree and activated the second rule—trading life for power.

The elderly Secret Keeper grew even older, but gained a surge of strength.

The situation was reversed, but how could the original victor accept that?

"I can sacrifice life too. I'm younger."

In the end, both sides kept sacrificing their lifespans. The elder died, becoming part of the Mother Tree's Holy Image, an "example" of the Secret Realm Master's truth.

The victor lost most of his lifespan and became the new elder. Of the thirteen dead, two had aged to death shortly after leaving the Secret Realm.

In that desperate situation, everyone had waited helplessly for death and for the disaster to spread.

The outcome had actually been decided from the beginning. The strongest Secret Keepers among the three squads were only Tier 4; there was no way they could stop a Tier 9 demigod's scheme to ascend.

Familiar figures were forced to form "life links" with those closest to them, only to reach the end of their lives or their place in society.

Until that frail Young Man arrived.

He smiled and uttered the mad words no one else dared speak.

"The one I want to challenge is you. Yes, you—the Big Cat with that stupid grin. A demigod? Heh, perfect."

The result? Beyond everyone's expectations, his opening words were:

"I'll trade all my lifespan for power. Since you say the Mother Goddess is loving, that she watches every child equally, then she won't deny the weak even the slightest chance of victory, will she? Take all my life. Let me see whether your love is real."

The figures suddenly appearing before her interrupted Xia Qin's memories.

They were a group of tottering elderly people, heads lowered as they climbed the mountain, while the other Secret Keepers silently descended.

The two groups passed each other without a word, though not long ago they had been colleagues and comrades.

"Only seven?"

These people had once been young. They were the "victors" who had aged in the Secret Realm, and they had just completed the paperwork for early retirement.

The funeral procession grew even quieter. Faint sobbing drifted from behind them, painful and hoarse.

No one turned back. There were no accusations, no angry rebukes. The two groups simply walked their respective paths to the end.

Some could keep moving forward. Others stopped after weeping bitterly.

Xia Qin took a deep breath and continued onward.

"Captain, we need to talk about that person under your supervision."

Someone came to see her as soon as she returned to the office.

It was Lei Huo Ren, one of the only three members remaining in her squad.

At the same time, he had always opposed her proposal to place that person under supervision.

"He's dangerous. Extremely dangerous. I'm not talking about his ability. Anyone who survived that Secret Realm must have an ability far beyond normal limits. But the most dangerous part is himself."

Xia Qin still remembered the time she had vouched for her "savior" during the review meeting.

The man before her, always so quick in action, had immediately voiced fierce opposition.

He had come to see her again this time, apparently with no change in his stance.

"Captain, you know my ability. I act quickly because my power lets me instantly see the emotional colors a person hides and make immediate decisions and responses. But in that desperate situation..."

Impossible to understand. Impossible to read. Impossible to accept.

Whenever Lei Huo Ren thought of that Young Man, he was filled with worry and unease.

"I've seen plenty of people die. Whether they were saints or villains, whether they had been speaking grandly or begging in remorse, at the moment of death they were always filled with negative emotions—anger, unease, hatred, or at the very least reluctance and fear. Reluctance to leave this world, fear of the unknown that came with death. But that Young Man... he had only joy. Complete joy."

"Didn't you read his file? He was terminally ill. Maybe he was happy because he knew there would be compensation money. At that time, death was a release for him."

They had repeated this topic many times. Xia Qin did not want to discuss it again.

"No. To train my ability, I've observed the final moments of countless terminally ill patients. As long as they were human, they had negative emotions when they left, no matter how nicely they spoke beforehand. Death is an unknown. Fearing death is a living being's instinct. But he was different. He had only joy and happiness. It was as if he already knew what lay beyond death. I've never seen anyone like that at death's door."

Lei Huo Ren could not understand, and so he worried—he was even afraid.

"Pollution can only be covered by stronger pollution." The victor of that mad Secret Realm held an ability that was definitely not as simple or harmless as he made it appear. And every time he met him afterward, he was still filled with joy. It wasn't normal. Far too abnormal. He was acting so obedient now only because he was still weak, only a seed.

"In our world, the crazier someone is, the stronger they become. While normal people are hitting the brakes, they're stepping on the gas. Lu PingAn is dangerous. He has ripped out the brakes entirely, and he'll drag everything around him along. He reminds me of the Sophist. Some people only want to watch everything burn. But even he wasn't as... as Lu PingAn..."

This was a topic they had agreed not to mention. Lei Huo Ren's voice grew softer, and both fell silent.

That title, that former comrade, brought memories too painful to revisit.

That Tier A Wanted Criminal had brought no fewer disasters to this city than this Tier ZZZ Pollution Incident.

Was the painful past making Lei Huo Ren overly anxious? Not really.

In Lei Huo Ren's eyes, mere extremism and madness of character would not necessarily cause serious harm. Perhaps even an ordinary neighborhood police officer could handle it.

Even if someone was merely a pollution source above Tier Z, they could still be supervised. The Bureau's archives were packed with numbered sealed objects.

But when the two were combined—when a dangerous ability met an owner with no bottom line—it was like a nuclear bomb falling into the hands of terrorists. It inevitably reminded people of the person who had caused countless tragedies.

Xia Qin knew that superficial explanations would have little meaning.

Perhaps she needed to tell him the truth. After all, there were even fewer people left in the squad who could be relied upon.

"Lei Huo Ren, do you know how much Tier 3 and above Pollution Incidents have increased since the start of this year?"

"...Quite a lot, I think. We've been deployed much more often."

"Thirty-five percent more than a year ago. Three hundred percent more than twenty years ago. In recent years, the annual growth rate has exceeded thirty percent. If I remember correctly, this was the fourth collective funeral we've attended this year. There are now two Bureau squads that don't even have a Vice Captain capable of leading them. They can only stay at headquarters and do logistics."

The facts were right before them. The environment was getting worse, while manpower became increasingly scarce.

Three years ago, captains in the Ancient City Bureau's Special Task Force averaged Tier 3.2. Now, they averaged only Tier 2.5.

Though rank could not be equated directly with combat power, it was a fact that several squads had lost their pillars. The decline among vice captains and ordinary members was even worse. Many low-threat assignments could only be handed to the police, resulting in large numbers of officers being polluted or permanently retired.

"Barring surprises, in addition to normal expansion and bringing in social talent, the Ancient City Bureau will apply to several first-rate academies, including Gu Da, to send more students to the front lines as interns. Zion District alone will expand from seven Special Task Forces to ten."

This was actually an order from above, not merely a possibility. Xia Qin had only learned of it after receiving captain-level clearance.

"To put it bluntly, students will be used to replenish the ranks. Don't worry. They won't be given anything too dangerous. They only need to share a little of our burden."

"Has it gotten this bad?"

"Worse than you imagine."

There was even more explosive information. Captain Xia Qin had only just gained the authority to access it and could not reveal it casually.

For example, "several otherworld-class Secret Realms are stirring, and the military is also facing a severe manpower shortage."

For example, "to increase manpower, the difficulty of the Secret Keeper Qualification Examination has been greatly reduced, and the number of new Secret Keepers next year will increase by at least thirty percent."

For example, "the threshold for private enterprises to enter the field has been lowered, allowing more civilian forces to participate while increasing rewards and benefits."

For example, "more Forbidden Knowledge will be revealed to civilians, and polluted individuals will be deliberately created within several controlled Secret Realms."

Wasn't there an old saying? "As long as things get bad enough, there are no so-called bottom lines or rules."

"There's a high chance that once Lu PingAn gets into the academy and obtains a Temporary License, he'll become our temporary colleague. If you're still worried then, you can keep an eye on him from nearby. Just like this time, when you volunteered to test his ability."

"You saw through it?"

Lei Huo Ren gave a bitter smile.

"Heh, I'm your captain. How could I not care about what you noticed? At least what he revealed openly is a win-win situation, and harmless. Actually..."

As she spoke, Xia Qin laughed. You never knew how expensive daily necessities were until you became the head of a household.

Captain-level intelligence clearance had shown her why Captain He had always worn such a bitter expression.

The situation was ten times worse than it appeared. Since fifty years ago, the entire world had already sunk into a mire and was sliding uncontrollably toward the abyss.

An unstable element who did not hit the brakes? A Mother Goddess-type ability user with at least Tier Z potential? Twenty years ago, he might truly have been eliminated rather than monitored. But now...

"This world is already bad enough. I'm not worried that he's crazy. I'm only worried that he isn't strong enough. To be honest, I hope he grows quickly, so we can live longer too. You have family, don't you?"

Pollution Incidents in Ancient City were becoming increasingly frequent, while the Third Squad Xia Qin belonged to had only three "veterans" with less than three years of experience. Yet their burden grew heavier and heavier.

Expecting new reinforcements? Every region was short on people and wanted immediately combat-ready personnel.

The subordinate squads of district-level Bureaus of Anomalous Affairs were primarily responsible for "public security matters." Their priority was already low to begin with. Even if there were quality recruits, could they secure any?

Forget empty ideals and distant concerns. Combat-ready talent they could recruit was what truly mattered.

"I heard your younger sister applied to Gu Da too. I'll request to transfer her here with PingAn, so you can all look after each other. At most, it'll be half a year. For your sister's sake, give it one more push. When your sister joins the squad, you want to be a Tier 3 Vice Captain, not an ordinary member, don't you?"

Thinking of his innocent younger sister, who had suddenly broken through the "lower limits of humanity," as well as the increasingly frequent high-level Pollution Incidents, Lei Huo Ren silently nodded and said nothing more.

While the funeral was underway, an old acquaintance in their conversation had just walked out of a pet shop.

He sighed helplessly, at a loss for words.

Since he had once been born in this city as well, his associates had inexplicably assigned him the task of making contact with intelligence on the local official Secret Keepers.

"So, should I say hello to my old captain and old colleagues first? Tsk, they'd kill me, wouldn't they?"

"...Don't worry, I have enough money. Those debts? It's fine. I told you, leave them all to me. I'm practically a Secret Keeper already. Once I enroll, there'll be a scholarship too. I'll be able to pay them off soon. It's okay, really. Oh, and there's no need to send local specialties. I have enough to eat..."

The moment she returned home, Xia Qin saw the "suspected Tier Z to Tier ZZZ pollution source" talking on the phone in the living room.

He tugged at the phone cord, unable to hide the happiness in his voice or the smile in his eyes.

Debts? Leave them all to him? Xia Qin had seen the bill. It was no small sum, even for Secret Keepers with relatively high incomes.

But looking at Lu PingAn's confidence, Xia Qin merely smiled.

"Work hard. Grow stronger, then work hard to make money."

In Xia Qin's view, not hitting the brakes was nothing unusual. Having secrets was part of a Secret Keeper's daily life.

To survive in this world gradually entering its twilight, there were indeed more and more people crossing lines and going mad.

"Lei Huo Ren, you were right. Some people have long since lost everything. They only want to hear porcelain shatter, only crave a world engulfed in flames. But he's different. Lu PingAn is different from bastards like the Sophist."

She had vouched for him only because of what she had seen when she visited Lu PingAn after the incident.

She had seen the Young Man in his hospital room with his parents, the animated expression on his face as he told them, "I'm better now," and, "Our lives will get better."

She had seen his heartfelt joy and attachment as he faced his parents, who were crying tears of happiness.

"No matter how hard he steps on the gas, no matter how far he runs, as long as he still has somewhere to return to, he'll come back someday."

"And isn't the job of us Secret Keepers to preserve that place of return for everyone? If we can't do it, there's nothing to complain about."

"Then I'll only worry that he isn't crazy enough, that he isn't strong enough!"

End of Chapter
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