Conflicted, Heartache, and a Conversation

News always spread quickly through a crowd, especially when that crowd was made up of a bunch of teenagers and the news involved an adventure.

Against that backdrop, word of Lin Yue using the Levitation Charm to pull up a wall and smash a Troll to death quickly spread through Hogwarts.

While it earned her the admiration of some students, it inevitably made others fear her.

It was an instinctive fear, the fear of a being more powerful than oneself.

Lin Yue herself, however, felt nothing about it. She continued her routine of attending class, doing homework, and reading.

Apart from earning a great many points for the Troll incident, all it had brought her was two more bruises on her left arm—and Hermione sticking even closer to her.

Hermione's company even meant that Harry and Ron sometimes tagged along, too.

"Lin Yue, how do I do this?" Ron asked, holding out his Potions homework to her.

When they had first met her, he and Harry had genuinely been a little afraid of their classmate who could smash a Troll to death.

But after spending some time with her, they realized that although Lin Yue spoke without emotion and never changed her expression, she also never lost her temper with anyone, as if she were incapable of getting angry.

No matter what Harry and Ron asked her, or how many times they asked, she never got annoyed.

Even when they went to Hermione, they would eventually get an answer, but she would still scold them for not paying attention in class and the like.

With Lin Yue, it was different. She never scolded them, and they always got the correct answers they wanted.

So Harry and Ron had come up with a little trick: whenever they didn't know how to answer a question, they would ask Lin Yue, pretend to listen to her explanation, and actually zone out, then wait until the end to hear the right answer.

Unfortunately, Ron's plan was doomed to fail this time. Hermione, sitting beside Lin Yue, saw her look up to answer and immediately reached out to press down the Parchment in Ron's hands.

"Ron Weasley!" Hermione glared at Ron sternly, her full presence on display. At that moment, she was like a miniature Professor McGonagall, and Ron looked like he was practically trembling.

"You—and Harry," Hermione continued, shooting Harry a glare as well. Harry instinctively shrank back. "Stop trying to get Lin Yue to give you the answers."

"I've been watching you for a while. When she explains things to you, you don't listen at all. You're making her waste her time!"

"Lin Yue never said she minded..." Ron lowered his head guiltily, but still muttered under his breath, unconvinced.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the two boys across from her. "From now on, either do your own homework or come ask me. Don't ask Lin Yue again!"

Harry and Ron nodded obediently. As if they could do anything else—Hermione knew far more spells than they did.

After scolding the two of them, Hermione turned to Lin Yue, who was sitting beside her.

Since Hermione had interrupted her while she was about to help Ron with his homework, Lin Yue had already returned to reading her book.

Hermione couldn't help softening her manner toward Lin Yue. Even her voice grew gentler.

"Lin Yue."

Hearing Hermione call her, Lin Yue looked up from her book and turned to face her.

Hermione pressed her lips together, then reached out and gently rubbed Lin Yue's cheek.

"You're so clever when it comes to studying, but why are you so... so... dense in everyday life?"

After thinking for a while, Hermione had settled on "dense" as a relatively gentle description.

Lin Yue gazed steadily at Hermione and let her cup her face. She felt not the slightest flicker of emotion.

Hermione's comment that she was dense didn't affect her at all, either.

In Lin Yue's view, Ron and Harry asking her about their homework and her answering them was perfectly normal.

Hermione frowned at Lin Yue's complete lack of reaction. "Can't you tell that the two of them are taking advantage of you to get the right answers without listening to a word you say?"

"I can." Lin Yue's voice was completely flat. Her cheek, still cupped in Hermione's hands, moved with her head as she nodded, brushing gently against Hermione's palm.

"Then why do you explain it to them every time?" Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. "And aren't you angry?"

"They came to ask me." Lin Yue blinked, her eyes as still as a pool of dead water. "So I explain it to them. I don't get angry."

"You... You don't feel angry? Not even a little?" Hermione swallowed. Something about this seemed a little strange.

Lin Yue considered it for a moment, then answered directly. "Anger is generally used to express a person's emotions, such as becoming furious or feeling displeased when things don't go as one wishes."

While Hermione stared at her in utter amazement, Lin Yue made another connection in her mind and elaborated. "Rage describes being emotionally agitated because of extreme dissatisfaction."

"I'm not emotionally agitated." Lin Yue paused for two seconds, then added instinctively, "I don't have emotions."

Then she turned back to her book. Beside her, Hermione watched her reading and felt a chill rise from the soles of her feet to the top of her head.

When Lin Yue had explained it just now, Hermione felt that the person before her wasn't Lin Yue—not even a person at all.

She was a computer, one beyond anything Muggle scientists could imagine at the time: precise, rational, powerful, everything except human.

Thinking again of Lin Yue's words about emotions—she had said she herself had no emotions—Hermione could feel the cold sweat gathering on her back.

Turning back to face forward, Hermione lowered her head and forced herself to focus on her book, determined not to think about anything Lin Yue had said.

But it did no good. Lin Yue's words kept replaying in her mind like a loop.

At the same time, for some reason, her heart kept aching, until tears began to well in her eyes.

Merlin... God knew how healthy her heart was. She didn't have any heart condition at all! What on earth was happening?

Harry and Ron across from them had clearly noticed the strange atmosphere, too. Even Ron, who had all the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon, knew that the best thing to do was stay quiet.

So the two boys silently lowered their heads without making a sound. With nothing to distract them, they actually finished their homework faster.

After studying for two hours, Lin Yue was still reading intently, while Hermione remained focused on the book in front of her. Only her tightly bitten lower lip showed how conflicted and miserable she felt.

One of them studied without distraction; the other was in turmoil, but still managed to keep studying.

But Harry and Ron couldn't sit still! Children their age were naturally full of energy, eager to run around and play—especially on an evening when they had no classes.

They had finished their homework, and their desire to return to the common room to relax or play something had only grown stronger.

But when they saw Hermione across from them, biting her lip and clearly in a bad mood, and Lin Yue with her head down, engrossed in her book and obviously not done studying yet, they simply didn't dare interrupt.

If they disturbed Hermione... they'd become the outlet for her emotions, and they'd be in trouble.

If they disturbed Lin Yue... she might not say anything, but Hermione would probably speak up for her, and they'd still become the outlet for her emotions.

So they didn't dare say a word. They could only sit there doing nothing.

Harry and Ron were nearly falling asleep in their seats by the time Lin Yue finally closed her book. It was nearly curfew, so they needed to return to their dormitories.

At the sound of the book closing, the two drowsy boys finally came to and instinctively looked around, rubbing their eyes.

Hermione suppressed the inexplicable turmoil and ache inside her, then forced herself to perk up and nodded at Harry and Ron.

"Let's go."

The two of them were practically granted a reprieve. They immediately began gathering their things at a speed many times faster than when they had taken them out of their bags at the Library.

Even Hermione, despite feeling miserable, couldn't help twitching the corners of her mouth at the sight.

After checking out her book with Madam Pince, Lin Yue led the way out of the Library.

Neither she nor Hermione said a word along the way. Harry and Ron had been dozing in their seats, so naturally they didn't speak, either.

It wasn't until they reached the point where they had to part that Hermione looked at Lin Yue and smiled faintly.

"Good night, Lin Yue. Sweet dreams."

"Good night, Hermione." Lin Yue nodded without changing her expression.

Looking at her expressionless face, Hermione felt as if someone had grabbed her heart and squeezed it hard. In an instant, she cast everything else aside—manners and reason alike—and stepped forward to wrap her arms around Lin Yue.

Lin Yue felt nothing as she looked down at Hermione hugging her. As before, she copied Hermione's gesture and hugged her back.

Hermione rested her chin on Lin Yue's shoulder, took a deep breath, and slowly let go.

"It's all right now. You should hurry back. It's almost curfew."

"Mm." Lin Yue nodded, turned, and strode toward Ravenclaw Tower.

Hermione turned to Harry and Ron. "You go on ahead. I'm going to see Professor McGonagall."

"Professor McGonagall?" Harry and Ron exchanged a look.

"It's almost curfew. Aren't you worried that you'll..." Harry's final words—lose points?—faded away under Hermione's firm gaze.

"All right, you're not worried." Harry nodded, then turned and headed toward the Gryffindor Common Room with Ron.

Hermione lowered her eyes. She had some questions and troubling thoughts she wanted to talk through with an older person, and the need felt urgent—so urgent that she didn't even want to wait until tomorrow.

Of everyone she could think of, Professor McGonagall was clearly the best choice. She had guided Hermione into the wizarding world and was also the Head of Gryffindor House.

Standing outside Professor McGonagall's office, Hermione let out a breath, then resolutely raised her hand and knocked.

"Professor McGonagall, are you still up?"

A few seconds later, the office door opened from the inside. Professor McGonagall stood before Hermione in her dressing gown.

"Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall looked surprised to see Hermione, then stepped aside to let her in. "Come in."

Hermione entered and stood awkwardly by the door. Professor McGonagall walked over to a sofa and sat down, gesturing to the one opposite.

"Have a seat, Miss Granger."

Hermione sat across from Professor McGonagall and looked at the professor, who was usually so stern but seemed especially gentle now.

"Have some. You'll feel much better." Professor McGonagall waved her wand, and a cup of hot chocolate appeared on the table beside her. She picked it up and handed it to Hermione.

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall." Hermione took the hot chocolate and sipped it. "Aren't you going to ask why I came to see you so late?"

Professor McGonagall smiled with her lips pressed together and shook her head. "Why you came is written all over your face, Miss Granger."

"Confusion, worry, fear, guilt—they're all there."

Hermione took another sip of hot chocolate and gave an embarrassed little smile. She already felt a little better.

"All right, then. Perhaps you'd like to tell me why you're feeling all these things?"

As she looked at Professor McGonagall's gentle gaze, Hermione felt as if the professor would accept anything she said without judgment.

So she spoke without holding back. "It's because of... Lin Yue, Professor McGonagall."

"Miss Lin Yue?" Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I thought the two of you were good friends. She even saved you at great risk to herself."

"Yes, Professor McGonagall... That's why I'm so conflicted, frightened, and guilty." Hermione set down her hot chocolate and lowered her head, gripping her hair in distress.

"Don't be nervous, Miss Granger. It's all right. Take your time." Professor McGonagall spoke soothingly.

"Mm..." Hermione nodded. Her voice was low and quiet, as if it came from somewhere far away. "I first met Lin Yue on the Hogwarts Express."

"At the time, she had no expression and no inflection in her voice. I even... even felt as if she had no life in her. I was scared... Seeing her like that, Neville and I both ran away."

Professor McGonagall listened quietly. Hermione slowly raised her head. "Then we came to Hogwarts. She was so outstanding—so outstanding that I couldn't help getting close to her. I wanted to learn how she managed to study in her free time."

"But we're in different Houses, so I didn't get many chances to be near her."

"But even though... we hadn't spent much time together, she risked her life to save me." As Hermione spoke, she couldn't help smiling. Perhaps she didn't realize it herself, but Professor McGonagall could tell that the smile was sweet.

"After that, I truly started thinking of her as my best friend, the person closest to me."

"But tonight... because of something, we got to talking about anger, and she said she had no emotional reactions, no emotions."

"As I listened to her explain what anger and rage meant, as I heard her say that she had no emotions... I, I felt so much pain. I was frightened, too. At the time, I even thought she didn't seem like a person sitting in front of me, but more like a... a computer."

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to continue. "So I feel guilty, too. I think of Lin Yue as my best friend, and yet I... I was still afraid of her. I feel... I feel like she needs help, but I don't know what to do! And I'm still... still afraid of her! I—"

At that point, Hermione began clutching her hair and pounding her head with her hands, as if she could force an answer to pop into her mind that way.

Professor McGonagall stood up and caught her hands, stopping her from pulling her hair and hitting herself. She held Hermione close. "Miss Granger, calm down. You need to calm down."

Hermione gasped for breath, her whole body trembling. It took quite a while for her to slowly settle down in Professor McGonagall's arms.

Professor McGonagall crouched to look Hermione in the eyes. "Miss Granger, do you know that geniuses are often odd?"

"They're different from ordinary people. They can seem strange, even frightening, because they're gifted and unlike everyone else."

Hermione stared into Professor McGonagall's eyes and murmured, "Do you mean Lin Yue is like that?"

"Of course." Professor McGonagall smiled kindly. "To tell you the truth, I haven't seen a genius like Miss Lin Yue in many years. She's both gifted and hardworking."

"I'm a little envious that she's in Ravenclaw. Of course, you're outstanding, too, and a rare talent. I'm proud to have you in Gryffindor." Professor McGonagall winked at Hermione as she spoke.

Hermione pressed her lips together and smiled as her feelings gradually settled.

"Miss Lin Yue's situation... is truly unusual. I've never seen a child study harder than she does. Filius, Sprout, and I have all given her extra books to study, but she finishes them all in a week."

"To tell you the truth, I'm curious about how she manages her time, but without a doubt, she must devote almost all of it to studying."

"Mm." Hermione nodded emphatically.

"So," Professor McGonagall sighed, "she has no time to make friends, no time to build bonds with them, and perhaps... she doesn't even have time to engage with the outside world—not counting her classes."

"Do you mean... that's why she doesn't show much emotion or expression?" Hermione clenched her teeth, and the ache in her heart returned.

"Mm." Professor McGonagall nodded. "You said you were afraid. That's normal. You don't need to blame yourself or feel ashamed."

"You said you were worried and that your heart ached for her." Professor McGonagall gently tapped Hermione's forehead. "Isn't that perfectly normal? You're hurting because of your friend."

As Hermione felt the ache in her heart, she felt things gradually becoming clear.

"Let me put it this way, Miss Granger." Seeing that the time was right, Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows at Hermione. "Will you distance yourself from Miss Lin Yue because she's different?"

"I won't." Hermione shook her head without hesitation.

"Will you leave her because she can't return your feelings properly?"

"I won't." Hermione shook her head, a determined smile beginning to bloom on her face. "No matter what Lin Yue is like, I'll stay by her side. I believe in myself, and I believe in her."

Professor McGonagall affectionately stroked Hermione's hair and praised her with a chuckle. "That's my girl. Don't let your doubts hold you back. Follow your heart and show Lin Yue that there are things in this world more important than studying."

"Mm!" Hermione nodded firmly.

"Of course," Professor McGonagall continued, rising to her feet and looking down at Hermione. "Your own feelings matter, too. Don't focus so much on her that you neglect yourself."

Hermione stood as well, smiling resolutely. "I won't, Professor McGonagall. While I'm there for Lin Yue, I'll take care of my own feelings, too."

"Good." Professor McGonagall nodded with satisfaction and glanced at the clock on the wall. "Oh! It really is late. I'll walk you back. Get a good night's sleep."

"All right. Thank you, Professor McGonagall." Hermione smiled her thanks and followed Professor McGonagall out of the office. The doubts and fear in her heart were gone.