Life Was Fucking Absurd

"Last night's murder case was your doing, wasn't it?"

The words exploded beside Zhong Lin like a clap of thunder. Zhong Lin hurriedly put on a frightened, terrified expression, his voice trembling as he said, "Of... Officer, you mustn't make wild accusations. I'm a law-abiding citizen!"

"A law-abiding citizen?"

The middle-aged yamen runner's gaze sharpened, and he slammed a hand onto the table.

"I know you. You're the painter selling paintings beside Food Cauldron Restaurant. You sold one painting for three taels of silver and made over ten taels in a single afternoon. That street was under Qin Yong's watch. Qin Yong surely wouldn't let a cash cow like you go. He must have extorted silver from you, and you bore a grudge. Then, under cover of night, you climbed into his home and killed all three of them. Isn't that right?"

Zhong Lin looked as though he were about to cry. "Officer, you mustn't say that. I only just settled down in Black Mountain County. I don't even know who Qin Yong was, so how could I have killed anyone? Besides, after returning home yesterday afternoon, I never went out again. My neighbors can testify for me."

"You still dare to quibble? I see you won't shed tears until you see the coffin. Men, seize him for me! I refuse to believe I can't pry open his mouth."

At the middle-aged yamen runner's shout, the young man beside him slowly rose to his feet.

Just then, another yamen runner came running in through the doorway and whispered a few words. The three men immediately showed delighted expressions and hurried out after him.

As he was about to leave, the middle-aged yamen runner barked at Zhong Lin without turning his head, "Wait here. You are not permitted to leave without my orders."

Once the three of them had left, Zhong Lin was the only one remaining in the room.

Zhong Lin's mind raced. The yamen could not possibly know that he had killed Qin Yong and the other two. That interrogation just now had definitely been an attempt to bluff him.

But Zhong Lin suddenly remembered something. This was not the legally sound society of his previous life, where everything required evidence. Here, forcing a confession through torture was nothing out of the ordinary. Even in his previous life, there had been the "Great Memory Restoration Technique," let alone in a place like this.

Zhong Lin lowered his head, his eyes flickering between light and shadow as he considered what to do next.

He could not run. This was the County Yamen, not the wilderness. Besides, Little Shi was still at home.

"Fuck."

Just as Zhong Lin was panicking, a series of footsteps sounded outside the door. It was the young yamen runner from before.

"You're a painter?"

"Yes. What are your orders, Officer?" Zhong Lin quickly asked.

"Come with me."

The young yamen runner led Zhong Lin straight toward the County Yamen's main hall.

As he walked, Zhong Lin looked around. The hall was spacious, with two rows of wooden racks arranged along either side. Wooden staves, bronze gongs, ceremonial umbrellas, honor guards, weapons, and other items were neatly displayed upon them.

At the far end stood the magistrate's desk, complete with documents, tally slips, a brush rack, and a vermilion inkstone.

Several people stood within the hall, including the middle-aged yamen runner who had tried to bluff him earlier. Yet all of them deferred to an elderly man seated in a Grand Preceptor's Chair.

The old man wore official robes, his face stern. His very bearing as an official made people afraid to look at him too closely.

"Why haven't you paid your respects to the County Commandant?" the young yamen runner reminded him.

Zhong Lin did not dare delay. He hurriedly bowed deeply. "This commoner, Zhong Lin, pays respects to Lord County Commandant."

The County Commandant was the county magistrate's assistant, mainly responsible for public order, inspections, arrests, and similar duties. His status was second only to the county magistrate's.

"Enough. Draw."

The County Commandant waved a hand, signaling Zhong Lin to get to work at once.

The middle-aged yamen runner said, "Zhong Lin, the yamen is giving you a chance to atone for your past misdeeds through meritorious service. Draw the criminal's facial features according to his description. Hurry up."

Zhong Lin took a deep breath. At a time like this, there was nothing he could do. The only thing he could do was follow orders.

He walked over to the brushes, ink, paper, and inkstone that had long been prepared nearby. Beside them stood someone dressed like an apprentice from a medicine shop, who began describing the criminal's features.

As the man spoke, the criminal's image rapidly took shape in Zhong Lin's mind.

A moment later, Zhong Lin picked up his brush and began to draw. In less than the time it took to burn one stick of incense, the image of a heavily bearded man appeared vividly on the paper. His eyes were full of ferocity, as if he might leap from the painting at any moment.

"That's him! That's him!"

The medicine shop apprentice pointed at the man in the portrait and shouted.

The constables watching from around them, along with the County Commandant, were all stunned by Zhong Lin's work.

Zhong Lin's three-dimensional painting technique was simply shocking at first sight. It was lifelike, like a photograph, as though the man could step out of it at any moment.

"Lao Fang, go issue the wanted notice! Do not let the criminal escape."

"Yes."

The middle-aged yamen runner saluted, picked up the portrait Zhong Lin had just finished, blew hard to dry the still-wet ink, then turned and left the hall.

"Your name is Zhong..."

"This one is Zhong Lin."

"Zhong Lin?" The County Commandant nodded. "Young Master Zhong, your painting is remarkably lifelike. If you came to the County Yamen and helped draw portraits of wanted criminals, it would greatly improve public order in our county. I wonder if Young Master Zhong..."

"I am willing. Thank you, Lord County Commandant, for your recognition."

Zhong Lin agreed without hesitation, wild with joy inside. Hadn't the solution just presented itself?

"Lord County Commandant, that constable just now said I was connected to Qin Yong's death. I..."

The County Commandant looked puzzled. "Who is Qin Yong?"

"My lord, Qin Yong was one of the deceased in yesterday's home invasion robbery and murder case."

A constable at the side explained quietly.

"He was merely a street thug. Let the Black Water Gang investigate it themselves."

The County Commandant snorted coldly, rose, and left directly, leaving Zhong Lin standing there in a daze.

"Brother Zhong, congratulations. From now on, we're colleagues. My name is Chi Yan. I'm a few years older than you, so just call me Brother Yan from now on."

Chi Yan—the young yamen runner who had brought Zhong Lin inside—now greeted him with a broad smile.

"Brother Yan, what did Lord County Commandant mean just now? Am I all right now?" Zhong Lin asked cautiously.

"Haha." Chi Yan laughed, patting Zhong Lin on the shoulder. "You were never in trouble to begin with. Lao Fang was only trying to bluff you. It was just one dead street thug. The yamen can't be bothered with gang vendettas. The questioning was merely going through the motions. If they want to find the murderer, let the Black Water Gang investigate it themselves."

Fuck!

So it really had been a bluff. He had nearly been scared out of his wits.

Thinking of that middle-aged yamen runner called Lao Fang, Zhong Lin had the urge to put an arrow straight through his heart.

"Come on. I'll take you to get registered."

As he spoke, Chi Yan draped an arm around Zhong Lin's shoulders and led him toward the offices.

The yamen had six clerks' offices, located in the rooms on either side outside the main hall.

Chi Yan brought Zhong Lin into one of them, found an old clerk to record his name and place of origin, then had a badge issued to him.

When the two emerged, Zhong Lin was still somewhat dazed. From the moment he entered the County Yamen until now, his emotions had ridden a roller coaster. Who could have imagined that he would end up becoming one of the yamen's people?

Life was fucking ridiculous.