Assassination Classroom: A Succubus's Guide to Cultivation
Chapter 43

How to Soothe a Temperamental Yandere (2)

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Dongfang Yi measured out some coffee grounds, spread them evenly in the portafilter, and tamped them down, beginning the preparations for making coffee.

Little Angel Kushida Kikyo simply watched him. She didn't say anything else, and it was hard to tell what she was thinking.

"Do you really want friends that badly, Kushida?"

"Yes! I want to be friends with everyone."

Kushida Kikyo replied softly, but didn't keep looking at Dongfang Yi.

He had no idea what she'd said to Satonaka and the others to make it possible for her to chat so leisurely with him here.

"Then can I ask what kind of friends you want, Kushida?"

Dongfang Yi put the tamped coffee grounds into the machine and began extracting the espresso.

"What kind of... friends?" After letting off some steam, Kushida began to mull over his question, murmuring to herself without realizing it.

"Right, what kind of friends. Have you ever played one of those gacha games, Kushida?" Dongfang Yi prompted her patiently.

"Not really, but some of my friends are really into them."

Kushida Kikyo thought of Yamauchi, Hakase, and some of the others in her class. A trace of disgust unconsciously flashed across her eyes.

"Did you know that the companies behind those games draw their cards in all sorts of designs and sort them by rarity?" Dongfang Yi explained with a smile. "In my eyes, friends are the same."

"The same?"

"Right. 'Friend' is a pretty broad term, isn't it?" Dongfang Yi took some cold milk from the fridge and poured a measured amount into a container. "I divide friends into five tiers, like the gacha companies' R, SR, SSR, UR, and MR cards."

"Friends shouldn't be like that, senpai."

"Is that so? Maybe I'm just too selfish to be as open-minded as you, Kushida." Dongfang Yi gave a self-deprecating smile, his gaze detached and cold. "To me, friends are definitely ranked by importance. Not just anyone deserves to be called my friend."

"..."

Kushida's smile stiffened as anger flared up inside her again.

Are you saying I don't deserve to be your friend, you jerk?!

"Well, anyway, in my eyes, you already count as a friend, Kushida." Dongfang Yi kept taking her on an emotional roller coaster. "I just don't know which category to put you in, so it's been... giving me a bit of a headache."

"Oh, is that so?" Kushida pasted on another smile, thinking, Just let me find out your secret. Once I do, I'll... I'll...

Forget it. I'll figure that out later.

"Want to hear about it?" Dongfang Yi asked without turning around.

"Hear what?"

"How I categorize my friends."

"Sure, sure! Whatever you want to tell me, senpai, I'll listen carefully." Kushida Kikyo perked up her ears.

"You really are so tolerant of people, Kushida." Dongfang Yi gave her a playful wink. "To me, the lowest tier of friendship is an acquaintance you exchange nods with. That's like an R card in a game."

"An acquaintance you exchange nods with?"

"Right. The sort of relationship where you nod when you run into each other in the hallway. You more or less know each other's names and might chat from time to time, but you don't care about each other's feelings. If you had one more or one less friend like that in your life, you wouldn't notice or care."

"Mhm, people like that definitely exist."

"Maybe one day, something will bring those friends closer, and they'll get to know each other better. They might start doing things together often, taking part in activities that would be difficult to do alone." Dongfang Yi poured the extracted coffee into a cup. "Then, perhaps one day, they'll go their separate ways because of time or work, and each will end up alone again."

"That's a situation I really wouldn't want to be in. I wish everyone could stay together forever, getting along happily."

Kushida Kikyo took the opportunity to say something that reinforced her persona.

"Is that so? That really would be an ideal situation." Dongfang Yi seemed to have been taken in by her, actually believing she was an innocent, good person. "But some friends miss each other after they part. Whenever they get the chance, they want to meet and talk, to tell each other how much they've missed them. Others forget about each other after just a little while apart. From then on, the world is wide, the roads are long, and they never meet again."

"The first kind are usually called close friends, while the second are nothing more than ordinary friends." Dongfang Yi paused, then emphasized, "Most friends are the latter."

"But I want to be the first kind of friend to you, senpai~" Kushida Kikyo continued to fawn over him.

"Is that so?" Dongfang Yi smiled casually, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

But he didn't say anything else.

When he fell silent, Kushida Kikyo felt as if a kitten were scratching at her heart.

She wished she could one day put a sword in her hand and cut down every cliffhanger writer in the world... ahem... every riddler.

"If you liked this book, remember to add it to your bookshelf so you can find it again."

"So what are the other two kinds of friends?"

She blinked and asked softly.

"Those two are basically impossible to come across, so there's not much point in talking about them." Dongfang Yi waved a hand, keeping her in suspense.

"But I really want to hear!" Kushida Kikyo said in a syrupy voice. Her glistening eyes were full of tender appeal, and her baby-fat cheeks were rosy and soft. She looked adorable.

Dongfang Yi shrugged helplessly. "The fourth kind is called a kindred spirit."

"A kindred spirit?"

"'Who can share the breeze and moonlight with me? I seek a kindred spirit, like Boya found in Ziqi.' That's what a kindred spirit is." Dongfang Yi's eyes filled with yearning as he began to pour the latte art. "Friends like that don't need to explain themselves to each other. Maybe all it takes is a glance, or an expression, for them to understand what's in each other's hearts."

"Could someone like that really exist?" Kushida felt a little afraid.

"Who knows? A friend like that is something you can only hope to encounter. They can accept everything about each other. But you work so hard, and you're such a good person, Kushida. Maybe you'll meet someone like that one day."

"What if they're a bad person?"

Kushida asked without meaning to.

"If they're a bad person... then they'd probably only meet other bad people. Evil people are usually selfish, so it's hard for them to form friendships." Dongfang Yi furrowed his brow in thought, never stopping his work. "I suppose there's a tiny chance two like-minded weirdos could meet?"

Kushida thought, It's a good thing bad people don't meet each other.

"As for the fifth kind, they're friends who share life and death. 'I wish I could be born with you; if not, I hope to die with you.'" Dongfang Yi smiled. "This is a peaceful place, so that kind of friendship doesn't happen here. Better not to think about it."

"I see. Then, in your heart... what kind of friend do you think I am?"

Without realizing it, Kushida Kikyo had accepted Dongfang Yi's classification.

"That's a tough one. I still haven't decided." Dongfang Yi smiled apologetically and came over to Kushida with a mug in hand. "Why don't you decide?"

"Me?"

"Whatever kind of friend you consider me, that's the kind of friend I'll consider you."

"But, senpai, I don't make distinctions between my friends."

"Is that so? Then I'll wait for the day you tell me which category I'm in, according to my classification." Dongfang Yi pushed the finished latte in front of Kushida Kikyo. "By the way, this is your reward."

"Huh? Huh?!" Kushida Kikyo let out a quiet gasp.

In the brown coffee inside the mug, the milk foam had been shaped into a smiling chibi version of Kushida, winking playfully and flashing a peace sign.

It was done in an anime style, capturing the very essence of cuteness. Anyone could tell at a glance that the design on the coffee was Little Angel Kushida Kikyo.

All of a sudden, the two days she'd spent looking for him didn't seem like that much trouble after all.

"Amazing! That's incredible!" She could hardly believe it.

"Your reward for solving the riddle, Kushida. What do you think? Are you satisfied?" Dongfang Yi looked perfectly at ease. "I think it turned out pretty well. But the design won't last long."

Kushida quickly pulled out her phone and started taking pictures. Every shot felt like the perfect one, but somehow none of them felt quite right.

Dongfang Yi just sat quietly beside her and waited for her to finish, relaxed and at ease.

After all, nobody else was coming into the shop.

Once she was done taking pictures, Kushida felt a little embarrassed. Without realizing it, her resentment had already faded away, and now she even felt guilty about that outburst.

She turned her face aside, not daring to look Dongfang Yi in the eye.

"By the way, come a little closer." Dongfang Yi gently beckoned to her.

Kushida obediently leaned in.

Dongfang Yi bent toward her ear and whispered, "Let me give Little Kikyo one last secret. Remember, don't tell anyone."

He called me Little Kikyo! And he has a secret!

Kushida felt as if something had plucked at her heartstrings. Her heart even seemed to stop for a moment.

"Actually, the manager said that as the head barista, I have the privilege of choosing one lucky customer during work hours and giving them a new pastry or coffee to try."

"Huh? R-really?" Kushida's eyes widened.

"Of course. I never lie. By the way, I'm here every weekday until six in the evening."

"Really?" Kushida suddenly felt so glad she'd gotten to know senpai!

"But this perk is only available this month."

End of Chapter
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