Uncle Li: Ram the car into them!

Chapter 5: Uncle Li, Ram the Car Into Them!

Since then, life had returned to a state of calm. Aside from the ripples caused on a certain small island, people's lives generally remained peaceful.

Bricklaying is a rather promising profession; for instance, the building opposite a certain broadcasting station had been contracted by Uncle Li.

The jobs Uncle Li took always came with special perks. Since there was no rush to meet deadlines, this particular bricklaying gig even included paid days off. Today, he brought Zhou Hong and Grandma to a hotel for a meal.

"They say that building is being turned into a discount mall to house all sorts of shops. The owner of this hotel invested in it too, so he gave me some half-off coupons." Uncle Li sipped his Erguotou, his eyes squinting in a drunken haze.

"I feel like there's real potential here, so I invested a huge sum of money into it as well."

The shrimp Zhou Hong had just picked up dropped back into his bowl. "Uncle Li, what did you just say?"

"I said I invested a huge sum of money in that building. What's the problem?"

Given Uncle Li's personality, a "huge sum of money" likely meant his entire marriage fund.

Although I didn't know if the building we were constructing was the same one the Kyrieloid would blow up, I already had a bad premonition.

Just as Zhou Hong picked up the remote, the television in the private room turned on by itself.

"Captain Megumi Iruma, regarding the Ultraman named Tiga and the Super Mountain Power Tyrant, is this Ultraman a friend to humanity?"

Good grief! Commander Munakata, are you never going to let that name go?

"Uncle Li, I think your investment might be a failure this time." Looking at the host on the TV, who looked like he hadn't slept in thousands of years with his dark, heavy eye circles, Zhou Hong said softly.

"What kind of unlucky talk is that?" Grandma tapped the back of Zhou Hong's hand with her chopsticks. "By the way, why does the host look like that?"

"We will prove it to you," the host on the TV declared harshly, before collapsing as if his soul had been sucked out of him.

"What is this? Some new performance art?" Uncle Li scratched his chin, watching the TV in confusion.

The TV suddenly lost power, telling Uncle Li that things were not as simple as he had imagined.

Before long, Uncle Li's phone rang.

"Hello? What's the matter?"

"What the hell?"

"The building exploded? Is today April Fool's Day? Isn't the building still standing perfectly fine?"

Uncle Li hung up the phone, looking soul-crushed. The veins on his forehead throbbed, and his hand trembled with agitation.

He tried his best to maintain a strained smile. "A-Hong, you and Grandma take your time eating. I have some business to attend to, so I'm heading out."

With that, Uncle Li shoved all the bills from his pocket into Zhou Hong's hands. Not allowing him to speak, he apologized to Grandma once more and stood up to leave.

The soundproofing in the private room was excellent, but it couldn't block out Zhou Hong, who possessed a superhuman physique.

"They're called the Kyrieloid." It might have been an illusion, but just by hearing the tone of his voice, Zhou Hong felt that Uncle Li's eyes must be burning with raging flames right now.

"I don't care who you are. Since you're messing with me—I've hacked aliens to death before! A-Qiang, call the boys! Get the old crew back together!"

Ah, this.

The more he heard, the more absurd it became. Zhou Hong felt that even if Uncle Li called people over, he would just be sending them to their deaths.

The only aliens on Earth that could be "hacked to death" were likely small-fry like the Crow Man.

This was not even in the same league as the Kyrieloid.

"A-Hong, you should go take a look too. Little Li has an impulsive personality. Stop him; don't let him do anything stupid."

Grandma had already seen through everything.

Having lived together for several months, it was impossible for there to be no slip-ups. Grandma had long since discovered Zhou Hong's special nature.

After all, she had once gotten up at night to cover him with a blanket because she was afraid he'd be cold, only to find him glowing—she had figured it out then.

And to Grandma, it didn't really matter what kind of person he was.

"But Grandma..."

"It's alright. I'm not so old that I can't walk anymore." Grandma smiled and patted Zhou Hong's shoulder.

Since she had said so, Zhou Hong immediately stood up, patting his bulky pectorals with a thud-thud sound.

"Leave it to me. I'll definitely bring Uncle Li back in one piece."

Uncle Li's walking speed was no match for Zhou Hong's.

Before long, he saw Uncle Li in the parking lot. He was biting down on a cigarette, sleeves rolled up to reveal tattoos of a green dragon on the left and a white tiger on the right.

He looked nothing like the construction foreman he was earlier; he was dressed exactly like a yakuza.

"Uncle Li, do you have news on the Kyrieloid?"

"Don't underestimate me. I used to run with the yakuza back in the day. There are always some aliens who can't make it on Earth who end up working for me."

"I've already locked onto three Kyrieloid." As he spoke, he took a deep drag of his cigarette. In the dim basement, his single visible eye flashed with a crimson luster.

"Uncle Li, take me with you."

"Get lost. Go back and take care of Grandma. This is my own business."

Why don't you ever listen to people when they're trying to talk sense into you?

Zhou Hong rolled up his sleeves as well.

"BOOM!"

A frantic gust of wind blew away the cigarette Uncle Li was holding, the tiny embers gradually extinguishing against the ground, while flying pebbles pelted the back of Uncle Li's head, stinging sharply.

He turned his head as stiffly as a robot, his peripheral vision catching the wall that had shattered like a spiderweb, along with the heavy fist embedded deep within it.

Good grief.

"Uncle Li, the Kyrieloid are psychic lifeforms; without me, you'll have a hard time dealing with them."

The fist pulled from the wall was only dusted with a bit of grime, not even a layer of skin broken.

Fine, I believe you.

"Taking those bastards down is all on you!" Inhaling his relit cigarette, Uncle Li felt as if he had returned to his old days.

Before Zhou Hong's disbelieving eyes, Uncle Li pried open the minivan door with a crowbar and expertly hot-wired the vehicle with some inexplicable maneuver.

"What are you still standing there for!"

Zhou Hong climbed into the minivan with wide, vacant eyes.

Utterly Ultraman-confused.

Before he could even settle into his seat, the minivan sped toward their destination with incredible, erratic drifting, the blaring sirens of the police unable to keep up with the leaping van.

As they drove, two more vans filled with people converged upon them.

"It's in that house up ahead, Boss." An alien disguised as an Earthling yelled from his own van, "The Kyrieloid is definitely home."

"Who do you think I am? Any piece of trash thinks they can ride on my head! Ram the car into it!"

Sitting in the backseat, Zhou Hong's face was full of terror; feeling the minivan suddenly accelerate again, he tremblingly gripped the handle, then hugged it tightly to his chest.