Can't Play Without Nerfing?

The izakaya was thick with the intoxicating scent of sake.

"I want a divorce from my wife! Divorce! It must be a divorce!"

A fat man, snot and tears streaming down his face, clutched the shoulder of his friend beside him, wailing as his tears flowed more freely than the liquor in his cup.

His friend, a thin man, said, "Chili Pill, you might die on a mission tomorrow anyway. Why bother with a divorce? Just make do and keep living."

"You don't understand! Eight Birds!" Chili Pill sobbed. "My wife said yesterday that she's had enough of me! She! She! She... she actually said! Ugh!"

Eight Birds said, "Finish your sentence before you cry, or cry until you're done, then talk."

"She actually said! That mine is just a chili pepper with two garlic cloves hanging underneath!"

Pfft!

At the next table, Kawadera Uchiha, who was diligently gathering intelligence and looking for an opportunity to spread rumors, spat out a mouthful of sake.

He was a professional spy, a professional intelligence ninja; how could he lose his composure in a place like this?

Unless... unless he simply couldn't help it.

Vicious, too vicious. The heart of a woman is the most poisonous thing of all; how could she be so cruel?

What kind of wicked woman could say such a thing?

Fortunately, Chili Pill was focused on his crying, and Eight Birds was focused on Chili Pill's crotch, so neither noticed Kawadera Uchiha.

A chili pepper?

With two garlic cloves hanging underneath?

Eight Birds looked down at his own crotch. He was proud of his eight centimeters; if Chili Pill could find a wife, where was he falling short?

"Divorce! Chili Pill, get the divorce! After you... I mean, after the divorce, your wife can find someone better. Don't hold her back anymore."

Upon hearing this, Chili Pill threw his head back and wailed.

His crying didn't amount to much in the izakaya; the people around them were shouting and hollering as if they wouldn't survive until tomorrow.

Kawadera Uchiha listened carefully... and it had to be said, Chili Pill's wailing was truly a bit shrill.

Wait, what was he here to do again? Oh, right, he remembered: he was here to spread rumors.

Raising his sake cup to shield half his face, Kawadera Uchiha cast a genjutsu on Eight Birds.

Eight Birds shook his head violently.

"Speaking of women, I suddenly remembered a scene I encountered on the battlefield before. At the time, I saw an incredibly beautiful Cloud Ninja. That long neck, those high, firm breasts like stone spheres, that perky butt that could serve as a chair. If you don't have eighteen centimeters, you can't even reach the door. Such a beautiful woman was cruelly slaughtered by an Uchiha. Recently, isn't it popular to discuss which ninja clan is the number one clan in Konoha? I think there's no need to discuss it at all; it has to be the Uchiha Clan! Over 500 ninjas, more than 50 with Three Tomoe, standing together, staring at you with those scarlet eyes—it's just like being targeted by a pack of wolves on a grassland night! Those eyes glow red; it's enough to make anyone panic!"

Recalling his previous encounters with the Uchiha Clan, Chili Pill said:

"It's no good for the Uchiha Clan to stay in the village; their Police Force is a menace. It's even worse when the Uchiha Clan goes to the battlefield; they aren't even human."

The two changed the subject and began to chat about the Uchiha Clan.

Before long, the two reached a unanimous conclusion: the Uchiha Clan was too strong; they were definitely the number one ninja clan in Konoha right now.

How could anyone play if they weren't nerfed?

Kawadera Uchiha wore a smile; he had over-fulfilled his mission today, gaining two die-hard haters for the Uchiha Clan.

He reaffirmed in his heart: what did the rise or fall of Konoha have to do with him?

Konoha couldn't be too strong, or how else would he get his hands on good things from Tobirama Senju?

If Konoha were to dominate the ninja world, Tobirama Senju certainly wouldn't pay any attention to him anymore.

Let them fight; it was either the east wind prevailing over the west, or the west over the east.

Even if he didn't stir the pot, Konoha would eventually descend into internal strife until they beat each other's brains out. He felt absolutely no psychological burden.

Leaving the izakaya, a voice suddenly echoed in his sea of consciousness.

"Kawadera Uchiha, show me Konoha as it is now."

"A B-rank mission."

"Agreed."

"I'm telling you, if you don't agree, I absolutely won't... what? You agreed?"

Kawadera Uchiha extinguished the cigarette in his hand, unable to react for a moment.

So, this is how I land a B-rank mission?

It seems Tobirama Senju is quite eager to see what Konoha has become.

"Sit tight, Second Hokage, I'm taking you on a night tour of Konoha!"

He donned the uniform of the Police Force. Since he didn't mention he was just a temp, the uniform gave him the authority to use Body Flicker on the rooftops.

"First stop, the main street of Konoha!"

Kawadera Uchiha stood on the ridge of a four-story commercial building on the main street; the sloped roof fell away on both sides, leaving his line of sight unobstructed.

"To the northeast, that brightly lit compound is our proud Uchiha Clan, the great Uchiha Clan."

Tobirama Senju remained silent; Kawadera Uchiha was doing this specifically to provoke him.

Tobirama Senju recalled that Madara Uchiha was still alive, and looking at the prosperity of the Uchiha Clan at this moment, he couldn't help but imagine the consequences if they were colluding with outside forces.

Is this Uchiha clan even playable without being nerfed?

"To the southeast, the brightly lit compound is the future number one ninja clan of Konoha, the Hyuga Clan."

"The Hyuga will be the number one clan in the future? That's absurd."

"It's true. Because all the other ninja clans are practically dead, the Hyuga Clan calling themselves the number one clan has no exaggeration in it at all."

Tobirama Senju responded with silence.

"To the southwest, the brightly lit area is the current number one ninja clan of Konoha, the Sarutobi Clan."

"You said the other ninja clans are practically dead, so will the Sarutobi Clan also decline?"

Kawadera Uchiha turned his head: "Do you see the roof of the Chunin Exams venue in the distance? In the future I've seen, that is where Hiruzen Sarutobi is killed."

"No!"

"It wasn't just a simple killing."

"In front of all of Konoha and the visiting feudal lords of several nations, on that highest rooftop, he was killed in public."

"That wasn't a killing; that was an execution!"

"It was a meticulously planned, multi-party collaborative public execution!"

Tobirama Senju said: "Save the little monkey, and I will give you an S-rank mission reward."

"Second Hokage, you sound just like an incompetent husband right now, spouting nothing but nonsense."

"Your old habits are acting up again. I'm just weak in strength, not tired of living."

"If they can join forces to execute Hiruzen Sarutobi, what effort would it take for them to kill me as well?"

Tobirama Senju frowned, digesting this terrible news.

The little monkey will also be killed by a joint effort?

And an execution?

A public execution?

Why did Konoha turn into something like that?

Kawadera Uchiha continued: "To the northwest, the sparsely lit compound is your Senju Clan's compound."

Tobirama Senju looked at the state of the Senju compound, the memories of its past prosperity flooding his heart.

In the 22nd year of Konoha, he had suppressed the opinions of the jonin within his clan and rejected the proposal to expand the compound three times over, believing that development space should be reserved for the village.

Ever since then, the Senju compound had become extremely crowded.

He had taken the lead in renovating the clan leader's residence, converting the first two of the three courtyards into clan facilities, while he himself lived in the third.

Now, the Senju Clan compound was so desolate; looking at those lights, only one-fifth of the houses were occupied, while the rest stood empty—a pitch-black expanse.

Kawadera Uchiha said: "Second Hokage! Now is the turning point for the Uchiha Clan! The Uchiha Clan is about to soar into the sky and become the masters of Konoha!"

"Following that, the Sarutobi Clan and the Ino-Shika-Cho Clans will trample over the corpses of the Uchiha and Konoha to become the new masters here!"

Whether it was true or not didn't matter; with seven parts truth and three parts lies, he would first give Tobirama Senju a good scare.

As for the future, who could say for sure? If asked, he'd just blame it on Tobirama Senju for refusing to stay dead and insisting on changing the timeline.

Sure enough, Tobirama Senju immediately said: "The Senju Clan has declined to such a state; the balance within Konoha must be re-established!"

"While preserving the Senju Clan, the Uchiha Clan must be weakened!"

"This is an S-rank mission. I will judge your performance and grant you rewards of different levels!"

"Heh heh." Kawadera Uchiha laughed like a villain:

"Suppressing and weakening the Uchiha Clan—that is your specialty, Second Hokage. You are the best at it, and I am looking forward to it."

Setting other things aside, he had secured another B-rank mission reward tonight.

2/3. Just one more B-rank mission reward, and he would be able to redeem an A-rank Mind Awakening.