Even a Dog Wouldn't Be Hokage!

Orochimaru was filled with emotion. He knew his teacher had grown weak and corrupt.

But he had never expected that one day, Hiruzen Sarutobi would be unable to escape suspicion.

It was just too ironic.

Orochimaru soon stopped caring. He had never wanted to be Hokage in the first place. All he wanted was to quietly pursue scientific research.

Yamanaka Chujiu handed Orochimaru the scroll filled with corpses. Orochimaru unsealed them and inspected their condition one by one.

The corpses were in excellent shape, and he was very satisfied. He sealed them back up, then took out a scroll filled with cash and handed it to Yamanaka Chujiu.

Chujiu unsealed it without the slightest hesitation and counted the bills right in front of him.

The money from the corpses wasn't all his. He had to share it with the Konoha Ninja who had helped clear the ruins, pay tribute to the supervising jonin, and hand over a cut to Hiruzen Sarutobi's Hokage office.

If he came up short, he'd have to make up the difference out of the money he earned selling information.

Watching Yamanaka Chujiu count the money so carefully, Orochimaru suddenly said, "Chujiu, would you like to become my student?"

Yamanaka Chujiu: "Huh?"

Orochimaru patiently explained, "I think you have excellent talent, especially for scientific research. You'd be a better student than Anko."

"As my student, you could learn my ninjutsu and knowledge. I could even help you become the Fifth Hokage."

Yamanaka Chujiu could sense that beneath Orochimaru's calm emotions, a storm was brewing. His sincerity and anticipation were unmistakable; there wasn't the slightest hint of deception.

Orochimaru really wanted to take him on as a student!

He had to admit, Yamanaka Chujiu was sorely tempted.

Not because he wanted to become Hokage. He had never once thought of becoming Hokage.

What was so great about being Hokage? You had to look after Konoha's people, protect the Konoha Ninja, fight the other four Kage on the battlefield, and even risk your life against monsters like the Nine-Tails.

Even if the Third Hokage never left the village, he still couldn't stop the Sky Village from attacking directly, or Obito Uchiha from sneaking in and unleashing the Nine-Tails.

Worse yet, the Hokage had to worry about every little thing. Even the Seventh Hokage, despite creating hundreds of Shadow Clones, couldn't get a moment's peace. He was exhausted like a dog.

Hokage? Even a dog wouldn't do it!

What tempted Yamanaka Chujiu was Orochimaru's knowledge. It might seem pretty twisted, but Orochimaru really could live forever.

Even the Monkey King had asked before beginning his training, "Can I learn to live forever?"

Yamanaka Chujiu wanted to live forever, too.

The path to immortality he was pursuing now was one he'd blazed himself. It was too dangerous and too uncertain, with no precedent and no guarantees whatsoever.

Orochimaru's Living Corpse Reincarnation, on the other hand, had been proven in the future: it was an immortal path where no matter how many times you killed him, he wouldn't stay dead.

So Yamanaka Chujiu was tempted.

But he had reservations—serious reservations.

Becoming Orochimaru's student came with benefits, but also enormous risks.

Once the Third Hokage returned to power, Orochimaru would become an S-rank rogue ninja. Could the student of a rogue ninja really expect things to go well?

Sure, Anko was doing fine.

That was because Anko was openhearted and straightforward. Could Yamanaka Chujiu stand up to scrutiny?

He'd have no choice but to defect with Orochimaru.

Outside Konoha, there were bounty hunters like Kakuzu and monsters as overpowered as Nagato. Even Orochimaru himself was having a rough time of it. Wouldn't Chujiu fare even worse?

Yamanaka Chujiu reluctantly declined. "Lord Orochimaru, I really do want to become your student, but I'm scared..."

Orochimaru gave a cold laugh. It wasn't directed at Yamanaka Chujiu; his refusal had simply made Orochimaru feel that no one had faith in him.

If Yamanaka Chujiu didn't believe in him, Orochimaru couldn't help but take that seriously.

He assumed the future was uncertain, worked backward to figure out what might cause this outcome, and then compared his conclusions against the current circumstances.

It didn't take long for Orochimaru to understand why Chujiu had refused.

The Third Hokage's return to power would inevitably be questioned, and he wouldn't be able to suppress those doubts through administrative means. In the end, he would have to create an even more shocking scandal to distract everyone in Konoha.

No scandal would be more suitable—or better at absorbing the public backlash for Hiruzen Sarutobi—than Orochimaru's human experimentation.

Orochimaru had an illustrious record and a fearsome reputation, and he was obsessed with researching ninjutsu. No one would need to frame him for human experimentation; everyone would believe he was doing it anyway.

Destroying Orochimaru's reputation would not only distract the villagers; it would also eliminate the last contender.

Once Hiruzen Sarutobi was the only one left who seemed fit to be Hokage, his return to power would no longer look like the greed of an ambitious man. It would look like an old Hokage stepping in to save the village in its hour of need.

How could the villagers blame the Third Hokage then?

Hiruzen Sarutobi was the "strongest Hokage in history." At sixty, he still had to carry Konoha on his shoulders. Was returning to power really such a problem?

The villagers ought to be thanking the old man with all their hearts!

As for how he'd ended up the only candidate left...

That was none of your business!

And as for whether Hiruzen Sarutobi would go even further afterward, squeezing every last bit out of the ninja and villagers...

That was none of your business, either!

Orochimaru's heart turned cold. He said indifferently, "You can still become my student before I change my mind. Now get out."

Yamanaka Chujiu nodded. "Sure thing! Lord Orochimaru, I'll get out right now!"

Then he promptly left the laboratory.

Humming a tune that was barely recognizable as music and carrying a scroll full of money on his back, Yamanaka Chujiu strolled over to the neighborhood where the civilian ninja lived.

As soon as he got close, several children spotted him and came running over with cheers.

"Big Sister Chujiu is here!"

Chujiu exploded. "Don't call me Big Sister!"

The children said, "But you are a big sister!"

Chujiu flew into a rage:

"You think I want to look like this?"

"Call me Big Brother Chujiu!"

"Or I won't give you any candy!"

"Big Brother Chujiu-sister!"

"Aaah! You're driving me crazy!"

Even as Yamanaka Chujiu stormed about, he still handed out candy to the little ones and shooed them off to play.

He complained to the girl who stayed behind, "Kazamatsuri Harume, don't tell me you're going to call me Big Sister, too?"

Kazamatsuri Harume smiled. "Big Brother Chujiu, you're really so pretty. You do look like a big sister."

(↑↑Chujiu, a boy with a girl's face↑↑)

Yamanaka Chujiu could only sigh helplessly. As Yamanaka Inoichi's younger brother, he somehow had the same face as Ino, who had only just been born. It was exasperating.

With short hair, Chujiu had merely looked handsome. But after scrambling around on the battlefield with no time to take care of his hair, he'd unknowingly grown a head of long, lustrous locks. That changed everything.

More than one teammate had said, "I really want to poison you so you can't talk."

One teammate who'd been turned gay had even said, "Chujiu, if it's you, I don't care what gender you are."

At the time, Yamanaka Chujiu had been furious enough to explode. He'd wanted to smash those guys' heads in. Now, though, those words had become some of his most precious memories.

The teammates who'd once said those things to him had all fallen into the cold, muddy waters of the Land of Rain. They could never joke around with him again.

Whenever Yamanaka Chujiu thought of his fallen teammates, he couldn't help sighing to himself. But a bright smile bloomed across his face as he reached out and ruffled Kazamatsuri Harume's hair.

The little girl stared at him, dumbstruck. "Big Brother Chujiu...sis, you look even prettier when you smile..."

Yamanaka Chujiu: "...All right, I'll stop smiling."