Lu, I Want to Have a Child for You

"Five to one! This is too dramatic!"

"Lu Yang's goal was full of drama. He completed a hat trick, and it was the most unusual hat trick in history!"

"He scored with his foot, head, and head!"

"What's going on with Bayern? They were going toe-to-toe with Real Madrid in the first half. How did they suddenly fall apart in the second?"

"Real Madrid are still much better than Bayern at taking their chances!"

"Bayern fans were chanting 'five kernels' earlier. Now Bayern really have become five kernels. Except they didn't score five goals—they conceded five!"

Less than ten minutes remained in the match.

The two sides were four goals apart.

Was there any hope of catching up in a match like this?

Bayern fans began frantically searching for examples of huge comebacks.

And sure enough, they found one.

Not only could they level the score—they could even turn it around.

In the Champions League before last, San Remo had cut down the champions of the Top Five Leagues one by one, creating the first Perfect Champions League in history!

In that Champions League final, Bayern had battered San Remo into a sieve and had been just ten minutes away from lifting the Big Ears Cup.

But in the dying moments, Lu Yang scored five goals in nine minutes, kicking Bayern Munich from heaven into hell.

That remained the fastest five-goal haul in world football history!

It was also the fastest four-goal haul on record!

You didn't know until you looked it up, and once you did, it was shocking.

Bayern fans were even angrier.

Fuck... was this using magic to defeat magic?

But first, you had to have magic.

Bayern didn't have Lu Yang. Who were they supposed to count on to score five goals in nine minutes?

For