Collapsing Again

Ivo Zolgen's Diary:

July 24, 1794, heavy rain.

Today, one of the assistants involved in Father's experiment returned and handed Grandfather a stack of papers, supposedly some of Father's research materials and requirements.

After that assistant left, Grandfather came to find me and showed me those blueprints.

The contents of the blueprints looked rather strange—arms, legs, and even things that looked like internal organs. I was quite interested. Could Father be making a crystal golem?

Well, I hoped Father would return soon. Even with Grandfather and Mother's help, keeping the household running was still rather tiring. The life I wanted should have been a little easier than this.

"Master, I think you should calm down," Ruslan could not help but remind him.

"I am calm, Ruslan." Selim walked ahead of Ruslan, leaving him with only the sight of a slightly stooped back. "And what exactly are you referring to?"

"I think you've been pushing yourself too hard lately." Ruslan sighed.

Selim stopped and turned to glance at Ruslan. There was no expression on his face, but his eyes dimmed slightly.

"I keep seeing hope, only to be disappointed again. Do you understand, Ruslan?"

He walked a little closer to the wall and leaned against it, letting out a breath. "Do you know why Homero left?"

"...I do." Ruslan nodded.

"It wasn't just Homero. You, and Tver too—you've all had your doubts and wavered to some extent." Selim looked up at the ceiling. "I know. I know all of it."

"But there are some things that must be done even when you know better. Besides, now that my hands have already been stained with blood, I have even more reason to see this experiment through." Selim lowered his head and looked at his hands, his voice trembling slightly. "It must be