He cleared his throat and announced in a loud, theatrical voice, "Ladies and gentlemen! On this day filled with love, let us put all those unpleasant matters aside for now!" He flung his arms about dramatically. "Hogwarts needs laughter, needs love! And our love needs a focal point! A symbol!"
He paused deliberately, building suspense, then suddenly pointed toward Harry Potter, who was trying his hardest to shrink into his robes beside the Gryffindor table.
"Yes! According to the personal tally of myself—Gilderoy Lockhart, your charming and impartial professor," Lockhart's voice rose, carrying the smug delight of a prank successfully pulled off, "our Savior, Harry Potter, has received more Valentine's letters than anyone else, both inside and outside the school! A full seven hundred and twenty-seven letters! What astonishing charm! This fully proves that love and courage always go hand in hand!"
The Great Hall instantly erupted in a tremendous wave of gasps, envy, and laughter. Harry's ears turned as red as his scar. He felt every gaze on him like a spotlight and wished he could Apparate away at once. Ron sat beside him with his mouth hanging open, while Hermione covered her forehead with an expression that said, Here we go again.
"To celebrate this remarkable achievement," Lockhart said, his voice brimming with malicious excitement, "and to let our 'most popular student' experience the Hogwarts family's sincerest and most unique blessings, I have specially arranged a—Love Messenger Choir! Come forth, my little angels!"
With a wave of Lockhart's wand, a crowd of... dwarfs poured out from the side of the stage. They wore ridiculous miniature pink ballet tutus, crooked little wings, and golden curly wigs! There were about a dozen of them, each with exaggerated blush painted across his face and a tiny harp—or something resembling one—in his