Frenzied Favor Grinding

The agreed time was half an hour. Russell arrived at Parker's house ten minutes early, then waited another twenty minutes outside the door.

Lateness is a privilege God granted to women. A man need only wait patiently and, when she appears, flash a smile that says he doesn't mind—that's how you score extra points.

No point complaining. You've already waited, so what's one more smile?

If you're pissed, bottle it up. Plenty of time later to make them cry.

A fresh-faced girl in full bloom—a touch of light makeup and lip gloss makes her more radiant than any flower. Ashley had picked out her outfit carefully, highlighting her best features, and even spritzed on some perfume.

She was pleased with how patiently Russell had waited. She took the helmet, put it on, climbed onto the back of the bike without hesitation, and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Russell gunned the throttle, swung the bike around, and headed for the nearest city. A town was just a town—good food, good fun... none of it here.

If they went to a big city, it'd be two hours round trip. Too long. Ashley would catch hell at home, and Russell would land on her sheriff mother's blacklist. So he picked the closest city.

At the movie theater, Russell spotted a poster for Spider-Man. Sony's first installment in the trilogy—the Spider-Man who never shut up. He glanced at Ashley. She shook her head flatly.

"I hate spiders."

You sure?

In about ten years, you'll be Black Widow, with Thor on your left, Iron Man on your right, and the Hulk at your command. Before Captain Flatface shows up, you'll be Marvel's undisputed queen. Pretty badass!

Russell kept the complaint to himself and let Ashley choose. He figured she'd pick a romance—there was a campus love comedy playing. But instead, she went for a horror flick, one about to leave theaters with barely any audience.

Russell understood. The girl was giving him an opening.

A single man is a lonely dog. A single woman is dog-ignore!

Ashley had been under her sheriff mother's tight watch. Watching her classmates drown in the sour stench of love, she—being in her rebellious phase—had long been fed up. Now that she was of age, her mom's grip had loosened, and with a guy she liked in front of her, she was itching to taste that sour stench herself.

American horror flicks are all about blood, blood, and more blood—the gorier, the better. Russell's mind wandered until a pair of tits showed up. Ashley wasn't paying attention either. Then a ghost face flashed on the screen, and their hands clasped together in the scream.

Russell was a perfect gentleman. He let go of Ashley's hand and muttered, "Sorry, didn't mean to offend you. That was just too scary."

Ashley smiled and shook her head, saying she didn't mind. But when she looked at his released hand, she felt a little disappointed.

After the movie, Russell took Ashley to the nearby amusement park. On the roller coaster, their hands locked again—and didn't let go after that.

According to some bored researcher's thermal imaging experiment, when a man and woman are in love, the man's brain and crotch heat up, while the woman's heart does.

Meaning: a man in love schemes to get her into bed, while a woman stops thinking altogether.

Russell and Ashley hit a bunch of rides, took souvenir photos. With 3,000 dollars to burn, he spent freely. At the shooting gallery, he won her the biggest plush toy on the lot, earning envious looks from other women. He even left a generous tip and had the owner mail it to Ashley's house.

Russell showed off his best qualities, crafting the perfect boyfriend image. He had Ashley completely spellbound, and on the Ferris Wheel, she gave him her first kiss.

The Ferris Wheel was an old trick, but girls ate it up—they thought it was romantic.

Her kiss was clumsy. Russell's was too. First time getting close with a foreign girl, he was afraid of overdoing it and tarnishing his country's image.

They rode the Ferris Wheel three times. Ashley, tasting the sour stench of love for the first time, had her IQ plummet. She thought everything about Russell was perfect.

"Since we're boyfriend and girlfriend now, you're not allowed to talk to other girls anymore." Ashley sounded a little nervous. Russell had won first place in the Street Race; plenty of girls would chase him.

"Not even to say hi?"

"No!"

"Okay. Whatever you say."

"You're so sweet!"

The girl beamed. They dawdled a bit longer, grabbed dinner at the amusement park, then headed back to Prosperity Town.

At Parker's front door, Russell ran into Sheriff Samantha, who'd been waiting. Ashley tried to drag her mom inside, but Samantha refused, making Ashley lose face.

"Hello, Sheriff Samantha!" Russell took off his helmet and greeted her first. He tried to trigger a world quest, but nothing happened.

Samantha didn't give him a friendly look. She stiffened her face and warned, "You can date my daughter, but I don't want her hurt. If you don't understand that, I can take you to the Police Station and explain slowly."

"Mom, what are you saying!?" Ashley fumed, stormed inside, and dragged her nosy brother in with her.

Russell kept his cool. He'd gotten a key piece of info from Aunt Gladys, so he spoke up: "Sheriff Samantha, Chris is coming back."

Chris—the male lead, Russell's half-brother—was Samantha's childhood sweetheart. They had a thing for each other but never spoke up.

"R-really?"

Sure enough, Samantha's tough-gal act faltered. She fumbled, unsure what to do—probably thinking about booking a Beauty Salon appointment.

Russell nodded. "Yeah. I remember a while back, he'd call me late at night. I asked why he wasn't asleep, and he said it was because you got divorced. He was so happy he couldn't sleep a wink."

Samantha: "..."

Russell got past Samantha without a hitch. She tacitly accepted her daughter's relationship with him, and Russell used the chance to buddy up with Ashley's little brother, Mike. He secretly told Mike he loved spiders, but couldn't show it because of Ashley.

Russell bought Mike books on spiders and gave him rare photos, earning himself a loyal little follower—a spy planted right in the sheriff's house.

Over the next few days, Russell met the Spider Keeper, Joshua, through Mike, and his relationship with Ashley heated up fast.

Samantha often asked about Chris. Russell's poise and generosity impressed her. There wasn't a better young man in town. Maybe her daughter dating him wasn't such a bad thing.

A few days passed. Mine Foreman Leon happily announced he'd found a new vein—a Gold Mine. But when everyone checked, there was nothing. Aunt Gladys calmly said Leon had breathed in too much carbon monoxide and was hallucinating.

Almost the same day, a truck marked "Vioro Chemical" drove toward the Prosperity Town Shopping Center at night. Passing the spider farm, a rabbit jumped into the road. The Driver, afraid hitting it would cause a wreck and a massive explosion that'd trigger World War III, swerved hard.

A barrel of chemicals tumbled off the truck, splashed into a roadside pond, and began releasing unknown substances.

The plot had quietly begun. Russell didn't know. For the past week, he'd been shuttling between the mine and Parker's house, grinding goodwill on both sides.

A loser just wants to hitch a ride... for votes, just votes. Really!