Chapter 498

In Marvel, the System Was a Working Stiff

Suzaku filmed the first half himself. His hand was steady, giving the footage a cinematic quality. He might have worked in photography, or perhaps it was a hobby.

After Suzaku fought Dust Angel, Wade took over the camera.

The footage shook, and the camera swung around at random. Sometimes Wade's stubbly face filled the entire frame. He was in poor spirits, and his speech often jumped from one thought to another without any logic.

But the dirty jokes kept coming—

"Your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas. Can I visit you between the holidays?"

"The world's a terrible place. The only place fit for a person is in your arms."

—one after another, without missing a beat.

The viewers... rather liked him.

Coulson, however, was suffering.

One moment.

Dust Angel's fist seemed about to slam into Suzaku's face, making Coulson clench his own fist in suspense.

The next.

The camera swung to Xu Xi fighting Ajax.

Coulson: "..."

He had a few choice words he wasn't sure he should say.

One moment.

Xu Xi was in dire straits, seemingly on the verge of death.

The next.

The image lurched again, and Wade's scruffy face reappeared on the screen.

Coulson wanted to strangle him.

"Oh no, my friend looks like he's in danger. Oh no, my friend's assistant looks like he's in danger too. They're both in trouble. Who should I help? What a dilemma. I've decided... to help neither of them, because I can't help either one. I'm in pretty bad shape right now. I feel like I've had diarrhea for three days straight, and my legs are made of jelly." Wade chatted away to the camera.

Coulson: "Is this guy insane?!"

Apparently, he really was.

What could