Chapter 503

In Marvel, the System Works for Me

Suzaku had filmed the first half of the video himself. His hand was steady, and the footage had a cinematic feel. He had either worked in photography or was an enthusiast.

After Suzaku began fighting Dust Angel, Wade took over the filming.

The camera shook and swung around at random. Sometimes Wade's stubbly face filled the entire frame. He was in a bad mental state, often speaking in disjointed, illogical bursts.

But the dirty jokes kept coming—

"Your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas. Can I visit you between the holidays?"

"The world's a terrible place. The only place fit for a person is in your arms."

He tossed them out without effort.

And the viewers... rather liked him.

Coulson, though, was suffering.

One moment—

Dust Angel's fist seemed about to slam into Suzaku's face, and Coulson clenched his own fist in suspense.

The next—

The camera jerked over to Xu Xi's fight with Ajax.

Coulson: "..."

He had a few choice words he wasn't sure he should say.

One moment—

Xu Xi was barely escaping one peril after another, seemingly at death's door.

The next—

The image swung again, and Wade's scruffy face reappeared on the screen.

Coulson wanted to strangle him.

"Oh no, my friend looks like he's in danger. Oh no, my friend's assistant looks like he's in danger too. They're both in trouble. Who do I help? What a dilemma. I've decided... neither, because I can't help either of them. I'm in pretty bad shape right now. I feel like I've had diarrhea for three days straight—weak as a kitten." Wade chatted away at the camera.

Coulson: "Is this guy insane?!"

Apparently, he really was.

What could Coulson do but forgive him? Picking a fight