Warhammer: I Refuse to Be a Stinky Can!!!
Chapter 1

A Tragic Start

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8mo ago

Barbarus, in the low-lying white cornfields.

A chubby-faced, pale little boy was wielding a hoe, diligently tilling the soil.

His name was Hades, formerly a shut-in Earthling named He Shi. While painting a Death Guard Plague Marine miniature, he suddenly blanked out. One blink later, he was a newborn on the death world of Barbarus.

At first, he knew nothing, only that he'd been reborn into a world decidedly unfriendly to humans. It wasn't until his careworn parents taught him to speak and told him the land beneath his feet was called Barbarus, that it hit him.

Emperor on Terra!!! Fucking Barbarus??!!

This was the goddamn Warhammer world!!!

Hades felt like he could cough up blood on the spot.

Barbarus, of all places?

Barbarus was a notorious death world in the Warhammer universe, the homeworld of the Primarch Mortarion. The entire planet was blanketed in deadly toxic miasma, and humans could only survive in the lowlands where the poison was relatively less concentrated. The true alien overlords of this planet lived in mountain fortresses shrouded in the thickest fumes.

Humans were never the masters of this planet; they were merely penned-up swine.

Whenever the planet's brief daylight ended, the toxic fumes would slowly seep into the lowlands. Eerie, pale creatures laughed and frolicked in the toxic mist, slowly encircling the villages, selecting their future slaves.

There was no resistance. Fear had long since broken the humans' spirits. They hid in their villages, praying they wouldn't be chosen.

Those selected were either killed on the spot or dragged to the mountain fortresses. There, countless acts of witchcraft and experimentation awaited these lab rats. Humans were a resource, dismembered and twistedly sewn back together, granted new life through sorcery, becoming the lords' eternal slaves.

The humans here had no hope, just the eternal darkness typical of the Warhammer world.

Hades really wanted to bash his head in and start over. He was already restraining himself, trying not to cry like a faggot whose toes had been stepped on.

Even though he was a transmigrator, he didn't have a single cheat! Where was the promised transmigrator power fantasy?!

In his current puny state, even the lowest-level alien could crush him.

As a transmigrator, Hades knew the trajectory of this world, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

For one reason: this was a world where thoughts had power.

This world consisted of the physical realm and the Warp. As humans, their bodies existed in the physical world, while their souls had flame-like projections in the Warp.

Among humans, individuals with a stronger connection to the Warp were called Psykers. Psykers could use the power of the Warp, which was psychic energy. They could conjure energy that blatantly defied the laws of physics with their bare hands. Powerful Alpha-level Psykers could even destroy planets with a flick of the wrist.

But becoming a Psyker wasn't necessarily a good thing.

Because their connection to the Warp was stronger, their soul-flames would be brighter and more enticing, attracting the attention of creatures in the Warp.

These malicious entities would whisper to Psykers through the Warp, driving them mad, twisting their minds, and turning them into their eternal slaves. The more they used their psychic powers, the brighter their little flame would become, the easier it would be for Warp entities to notice them, and the more susceptible they would be to corruption.

Hades tried it himself and found that he had no psychic talent. He couldn't even produce a small spark. Disappointed, he was also increasingly grateful—

A person's soul and thoughts genuinely created ripples in the Warp, and as a transmigrator, Hades knew knowledge that was clearly forbidden.

If a person's thoughts piqued the interest of a powerful Warp entity, the consequences... Hades didn't even want to think about it.

In fact, from the moment Hades realized he was in the Warhammer world, he immediately forced himself to control his brain, to never think about the gods of the Warp.

As soon as he thought about that kind of knowledge, he would probably be immediately noticed by the four Chaos Gods!.

But what Hades didn't know was that it was his so-called "transmigrator" constitution and the planet he had landed on that barely allowed him to escape the gaze of the gods.

.

So, at the moment, Hades could only recall and think about knowledge related to the early days of the Imperium of Man.

Originally, humanity in this world had flourished with technological advancements, colonizing numerous planets in the galaxy. However, after experiencing the Iron Men Rebellion (i.e., the AI rebellion) and the ■■■■, human civilization was fragmented and on the verge of extinction.

Troubled times produced heroes. Just as humanity was about to perish, the man named the Emperor stood up!!!

The Emperor, the most badass immortal in human history, the strongest Psyker—so strong that he could kill Warp entities in seconds, the ruler of Terra, the supreme commander of the Great Crusade...

This badass, who had always kept his name hidden, unified Terra, which had been divided by warlords, with lightning speed. He created the Space Marines, allied with Mars, and began the Great Crusade to reclaim the human planets that had lost contact due to the ■■■■ and to conquer the planets occupied by aliens.

To ensure the success of the Great Crusade, the Emperor personally created twenty-one Primarchs using his own genes as a template. Each of these Primarchs possessed wisdom, strength, and talent that mortals could only dream of. Some could instantly grasp the essence of all physical and mathematical formulas, some could cleave a Warhound Titan in two with a single strike, and some could simultaneously manage the affairs of hundreds of planets.

Okay, in fact, most of these Primarchs could do all of the above, but they specialized in different areas.

The twenty Astartes Legions created using their genes as a template were the main force of the Great Crusade.

These hulking figures, standing at around 2-3 meters tall, each possessed unique skills and boundless charisma, inspiring awe in ordinary mortals!

It was no exaggeration to say that they would be the main characters in any other world setting, but in the Warhammer world, even the Primarchs, even the Emperor, would eventually...

He couldn't think about that anymore!

Hades stopped himself instantly.

Anyway, half of the Primarchs eventually betrayed the Emperor, becoming something inhuman, and the Emperor was trapped on Terra...

After the Great Crusade, the bright destiny of humanity once again turned dark—

—but none of this had anything to do with Hades, who was currently digging for food in the dirt.

.

The most useful memories from his past life were those related to Mortarion, the Primarch of the XIV Legion, the Death Guard.

During the Emperor's experiments, the twenty-one Primarchs were scattered across the universe by a Warp storm. Mortarion, the Primarch, landed on Barbarus.

In the original setting, Mortarion was adopted by the most powerful alien overlord living in the high mountains. He was regarded as the overlord's war machine and was abused throughout his childhood. For example, he would be thrown into a beast pit before he could even stand, or thrown into the deadly acid rain of Barbarus, or made to fight other alien overlords...

Even as a Primarch, he wasn't that powerful as a child, especially since his alien foster father was the most powerful Psyker on the planet. Thus, Mortarion spent his miserable childhood.

Such a miserable childhood also cultivated Mortarion's twisted and warped personality—foreshadowing his eventual betrayal of the Emperor after being found by him.

Of course, Mortarion's eventual betrayal... also involved the machinations of the Warp.

But that's all far in the future. The time closest to Hades is probably when Mortarion escaped his foster father's control and led the people of Barbarus to form a resistance army, overthrowing the alien oppression.

Then, in the final showdown against his foster father, the Emperor stole the kill, sowing the seeds of hatred with Mortarion...

But for a long time after that, Mortarion quietly took over the leadership of the Fourteenth Legion, silently leading the Fourteenth Legion on the Great Crusade.

And the people of Barbarus gained the right to become members of the Fourteenth Legion, the Death Guard.

Based on his memories from his previous life, Hades set a mid-term goal for himself: to live until Mortarion was found by the Emperor, and then become a Death Guard.

The additional task, of course, was to use his time on Barbarus to improve Mortarion's opinion of him.

Plan complete!

However... becoming a Death Guard isn't necessarily a good thing, after all, they're on the side of the traitors... Their later years are miserable, and he doesn't want to become...

But that's all too far in the future, Hades thought, no need to consider it so far ahead.

Given that he's probably just cannon fodder right now, becoming a Space Marine would already be hitting the jackpot.

Damn it, why did he have to transmigrate into such a depressing situation?!

The short-term goal, of course, is to survive. Life on Barbarus is always life-threatening. Before Mortarion led the rebel army to resist the aliens, the average age of people was thirty years old.

As it stands, Hades is currently in a smaller village called Heller Pass. His parents were killed by aliens when Hades was only three or four years old. Hades doesn't have much affection for them, only vaguely remembering their pale faces corroded by the poisonous fog.

Hades also doesn't have any siblings. Fortunately, in the villages of Barbarus, food is distributed according to need. He just hides in the mud house left by his parents, taking the little food he gets each time, struggling to survive.

There's no way around it, he's too weak right now. Hades is only seven years old and doesn't have the strength to compete with the aliens.

Every day, he follows the villagers to work in the fields during the brief daylight hours, and at night, he shrinks back home, tinkering with the production of tools and weapons.

His most satisfying achievement so far is a small crossbow, which he modified himself. The materials are all treated with medicine to resist the corrosion of the poisonous gas.

Although it takes a lot of effort to charge, its power is considerable.

He once secretly went to the corpses of those aliens left in the poisonous fog. Except for those aliens known for their thick skin and flesh, his crossbow can pierce their skin, sometimes even going straight through.

He once thought about getting a gun, but he found that he didn't have the ability to make iron tools. The only iron weapon he has is a dagger left by his father.

In addition, he has been researching the design of gas masks and the configuration of chemical materials inside—everyone on Barbarus has a simple gas mask to resist the invasion of poisonous gas.

To be honest, there's progress, but not much.

After all, his range of activity is only the village and the fields near the village, and the herbs he can collect are limited.

Hades is confident that if he could collect other herbs, he could improve the current gas mask.

The village bell rang, signaling the end of work. Hades picked up his hoe and looked with satisfaction at the ground he had just harrowed, which was not small in area—although he was still young, he was good at farm work.

He followed the villagers, running quickly back to the village. With a shout, the village gate was pulled up.

Hades returned to his mud house with practiced ease, simply wiped his hands with a cloth, and then began to boil water to cook porridge.

After eating, Hades picked up the design of the repeating crossbow he had designed earlier—single-shot crossbows are not very practical in actual combat.

If he really encounters actual combat, the opponent will not give Hades time to reload. This crossbow can only give him a first-mover advantage.

Just as he was immersed in thought, screams came out.

Damn it! Are the aliens choosing to attack their village tonight?!

Hades quickly extinguished the lights, put on his gas mask, put on as much anti-corrosion clothing as possible, and then picked up the crossbow and arrows, put the dagger on his waist, and shrank behind the door.

There's no way around it, there's no furniture in his house except for a large earthen bed to provide a place to hide.

Aliens called Pale Laughers slowly crawled on the village paths. Their faces were pale, twisted smiles cracked on their faces, and overly slender limbs were strangely placed on the walls of the houses.

They reminded Hades of the kind of spiders with human faces and particularly long legs.

Except extra large, they were a little smaller than a single mud house.

Yellow-green poisonous gas was imprisoned by them with psychic energy, wrapped around their slender bodies.

Hades' pupils suddenly shrank.

He saw it, the poisonous gas slowly seeping in from the crack in the door—

He was chosen.

Hades gritted his teeth, aimed the crossbow at the door, and smiled bitterly.

Looks like it's time to fight.

Hopefully, he can survive.

Today, Hades is also trying hard not to cry like a sissy whose toes have been stepped on.

Heads-up for when this goes live:

Readers have pointed out there's a "knife" in this story – currently just one!

Warning: there is a "knife," and depending on your tastes, there might be some minor "poison points."

Chapters with the "knife" will have warnings, so please choose whether to read them accordingly.

Remember, there is a "knife"!

Also, I tried to change the tags to add "knife," but it's been stuck in review (lol).

Group number is 287540541, feel free to join.

I'm a "cloudhammer" kind of guy – I read the source material, but not all of it (there's just too much), and I don't have the money to buy the miniatures.

Those who like the "hammer" flavor might want to steer clear. This story just borrows the setting of Warhammer 40k; it's basically still a light web novel. The original is too hardcore, and my writing skills aren't up to it.

If you just want to see the setting, feel free to keep reading. The protagonist currently has two advantages: something like being an Untouchable and having outstanding scientific thinking. But since it's still early on, he's still a noob.

Basically, it's a story about an individual fighting against Chaos.

I'm an amateur writer, just writing for fun, so I hope you all enjoy reading it.

Corrections and explanations are welcome.

Chapter 1 is the Barbarus arc, focusing on the protagonist's interactions with Mortarion and the process of building the resistance.

End of Chapter
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