Gangzi Chokes the Sea God to Death with a Bun! All of Douluo Watches Tang San Eat a Fart!

"Gold guaranteed within ninety pulls? That's fucking brutal..."

Gu Xingzhou stared at the lottery, unable to bring himself to draw. It was too extravagant!

If his luck was rotten, all those popularity points would go down the drain.

He preferred the safer approach: build up his own strength first.

His Innate Soul Power was only level five. While raising his Soul Scholar level still cost relatively few popularity points, Gu Xingzhou pushed his Soul Power straight to the limit.

[You spent 5 million popularity points to raise your Soul Scholar level!]

[Popularity points -5 million!]

[Current Soul Power: Level 10 Soul Scholar!]

[Remaining available popularity points: 56 million!]

Thanks to the system, his Soul Power rose without a sound. Even Xiao Wu, lying beside him, noticed nothing.

With this kind of parody system, the worst thing would be having his identity exposed and becoming the enemy of all Douluo. The system knew it, too. Instead of giving him flashy effects, it kept as low a profile as possible.

His Martial Soul was as ordinary as his Innate Soul Power.

It was an utterly unremarkable Blank Mask.

Its ability was simple, too: a basic disguise.

By using Soul Power, he could alter his facial features and conceal his aura. It might fool ordinary civilians, but any Soul Master with more Soul Power than him would see through it at a glance. It was practically useless in a fight.

If he chose his Soul Rings well, though, it would not count as a Trash Martial Soul. He could use it to disguise himself, assassinate targets, or escape. At least it was better than that worthless Blue Silver Grass. The Blue Silver Emperor was another matter, of course.

Gu Xingzhou was satisfied with his Martial Soul.

He had spent six years since arriving in Douluo waiting for a cheat or a system, and neither had appeared. Just awakening a Martial Soul was already pretty good.

After all, on Douluo Continent, Soul Masters stood above everyone else. Ordinary people barely even registered.

That was how he had stood out among the children from several villages and secured a work-study place.

He had never expected the system to awaken on the day he enrolled.

Naturally, he could no longer settle for an ordinary mask.

"It takes 100 million popularity points for a random Martial Soul transformation. I'd better be careful with the 56 million I have left. If I put on another big show for Gangzi tomorrow, I should be able to reach 100 million."

With that plan in mind, Gu Xingzhou slowly fell asleep.

He slept soundly.

Yu Xiaogang, on the other hand, tossed and turned all night.

I can't just sit here and wait for the livestream to parody me.

After thinking it over again and again, Yu Xiaogang finally made a decision.

Early the next morning, while few people were around, he went to the cafeteria and packed two chicken legs and several steamed buns. The cafeteria staff nearly burst out laughing when they saw him, chilling Yu Xiaogang to the bone.

Everything that had happened last night was real...

Without lingering a moment, he went straight to the door of Dorm Seven.

Perhaps Tang San and his teacher were of one mind.

Or perhaps Tang San had also been unable to sleep. He was up by then and opened the door, only to find his teacher standing there.

Master and disciple met each other's eyes. The atmosphere turned awkward at once.

Last night's livestream was still vivid in their minds...

Tang San, in particular, could not help picturing the Yu Xiaogang before him flashing double peace signs. He almost failed to keep a straight face. Fortunately, he was short enough to hide it by lowering his head.

He broke the silence first. "Teacher, why are you here so early?"

"Xiao San, I spent all night thinking about it. We can't just sit around waiting for it to happen. If we can't stop the livestream, we'll use it to our advantage instead," Yu Xiaogang said solemnly.

"How?"

Tang San was puzzled.

"This isn't the place to talk. Let's walk."

"Oh, and I brought you breakfast. You're still growing, so you need to eat properly. Go on, eat before it gets cold."

Yu Xiaogang handed Tang San the oiled-paper package.

Tang San took it and ate as he followed behind Grandmaster. But after only a few bites, he choked. He could not speak at all. He looked for water, but there was none in sight.

His teacher, Yu Xiaogang, was walking ahead with his back turned, completely unaware. He continued talking. "Since you have Innate Full Soul Power, it's time for you to obtain a Soul Ring. I'll take you to find a suitable one so you can advance to Soul Master."

"It's also a good chance for me to prove my theory."

He walked another dozen steps before realizing Tang San had not answered. Only then did he stop and turn around.

Tang San had both hands clamped around his throat. His face had gone pale, his lips were purple, and his whole body was shaking...

Yu Xiaogang nearly lost his soul from fright. If his new disciple choked to death right after becoming his student, he would never be able to hold his head high in the Soul Master World again.

In his panic, every bit of Martial Soul Theory he knew raced through his mind.

"That's it! Luo Sanpao's fart can make him vomit!"

Yu Xiaogang raised his hand to summon Luo Sanpao.

Just then—

A familiar ink-wash scroll suddenly unfurled.

[Performance-worthy scene detected!]

[Emergency parody livestream activated!]

[Featured performer: Yu Xiaogang]

[Show title: "Desperate to Save His Disciple"]

[Previously: Outside Dorm Seven at Notting Academy, Yu Xiaogang brought breakfast to his personal disciple, Tang San. A steamed bun lodged in Tang San's throat, obstructing his airway. In desperation, Yu Xiaogang was about to summon his Martial Soul to save him...]

Almost instantly,

everyone on Douluo Continent, even those still asleep, was jolted awake by the parody livestream's power and immediately received the recap.

Images flashed through everyone's minds: Yu Xiaogang arriving at Tang San's door, thoughtfully bringing him breakfast, and preparing to take him to find a Soul Ring... all the way through to Tang San choking on the bun.

They also saw Yu Xiaogang at that very moment. He paid no heed to the livestream starting; all he cared about was saving his disciple.

He chanted:

"Fart like thunder, Earth-Shattering Luo Sanpao!"

The next second, Luo Sanpao appeared out of thin air. Neither quite dog nor pig, he was covered in pale-purple fur. He swiftly adjusted his angle in midair and blasted a billowing, foul-smelling fart straight into Tang San's face!

At the same time, Yu Xiaogang deftly pulled a mask from his pocket and put it on.

At the overlooked doorway of Dorm Seven, Gu Xingzhou quickly shut the door.

Tang San was already in agony, staring at his teacher with a desperate plea for help. But instead of catching Yu Xiaogang's eye, he found himself staring down Luo Sanpao's rear end. Then...

"Urgh..."

Tang San's blocked airway had already left him starved of oxygen. The stench made him gasp, drawing the bun deeper into his throat. His oxygen deprivation worsened, and he quickly suffocated and lost consciousness!

He might have held on a little longer, but the fart knocked him out on the spot!

He did not even have time to show his resentment before he toppled backward and hit the ground hard.

"Xiao San!"

Yu Xiaogang rushed forward in a single bound and lifted Tang San up.

Meanwhile,

everyone in the Elite Livestream Room stared dumbfounded at the scene.

[Ma Hongjun: Urgh... First thing in the morning, and they're showing something this disgusting?]

[Oscar: I haven't even had breakfast yet.]

[Ning Rongrong: I was sleeping so well, and this thing dragged me awake!]

[Xiao Wu: ???]

[Xiao Wu: Is he really trying to save him?]

[Xiao Wu: Good thing Gu Xingzhou shut the door in time, or we'd have been gassed to death too!]

[Gu Xingzhou: Forget that for now. Doesn't Tang San look a tiny bit dead?]

[Dugu Bo: Tsk. So desperate to save his disciple that he tried to make him vomit with a fart! And they call this man Grandmaster?]

Just then, an announcement sounded in the livestream room.

[Tang San has been detected facing imminent death.]

[This livestream room is taking emergency control of Yu Xiaogang's actions!]