Someone came looking for trouble

Fame had its upsides and downsides. The upside was that business had improved a lot. As for the downside, it had already arrived.

A broad, burly man stood outside the entrance.

He stood at least two meters tall and was bare-chested, with a dragon tattoo winding over his shoulder and down an arm thicker than Wen Ning's thigh. A tiger-skin skirt hung around his waist, and straw sandals covered his feet.

If not for what he was carrying, he would have looked like he had come to pick a fight.

He held a wooden bucket. Whatever was sloshing around inside gave off the strong scent of Chinese herbal medicine.

Another man followed behind him, tall and thin, wearing a short gray cloth jacket and carrying a three-foot-long bamboo-handled brush with every bristle standing on end.

"Is this the Heavenly Court Bathhouse?"

The burly man stood in the doorway, his voice loud enough to practically shake the electric fan loose.

"I'm Xiong Batian from Black Wind Mountain south of town. The boys are kind enough to call me Brother Xiong. A few days ago, I heard some other demons say your back-scrubbing skills were the best in the Three Realms. Well, I don't buy it. Today I brought our mountain's chief bath scrubber to see what you've got."

He clapped the tall, thin man behind him on the shoulder.

The thin man nodded expressionlessly, his bamboo-handled brush flashing coldly in the sunlight.

Taking in the two men's imposing stance at the entrance, Wen Ning looked down at the scrubbing mitt in his hand, which he had bought on Pinduoduo for 9.90 yuan with free shipping.

He felt that bringing out this mitt to meet their challenge would mean losing half the battle on sheer presence alone.

Just as Wen Ning was preparing to decline the challenge, a familiar jingling sounded outside.

"Wen Ning! I brought your office supplies!"

Lu Ming carried a document bag printed with the words "For exclusive use by the Heavenly Court Thunder Department."

He jogged over from the entrance to the alley, his bells jingling the whole way. When he reached the shop and saw Xiong Batian and the thin man blocking the door, he stopped, his antlers trembling slightly, and leaned toward Wen Ning to ask a question.

"What's going on? Do you owe them money? Or did you scrub someone's back until they snapped?"

Before Wen Ning could explain the situation to Lu Ming, Xiong Batian answered for him.

"We're here to challenge you! Winning or losing doesn't matter. It's all about guts! We know this is an official Heavenly Court establishment, but our service is absolutely first-rate too. Why are so many of our regulars coming here instead? We won't stand for it!"

Lu Ming looked at Xiong Batian's bulging muscles and the steaming herbal brew in his bucket, then at the 9.90-yuan scrubbing mitt in Wen Ning's hand. "Wen Ning, I trust your back-scrubbing skills, but isn't your equipment a little behind the times?"

He set the document bag he had brought on the table and rolled up his sleeves, baring both arms.

"Your buddy's putting his life on the line for you today. It's just back scrubbing, right? I've been bathing on Mount Tai for hundreds of years. Today I'll show you what Mount Tai's scrubbing skills are all about."

Looking at that expression of fierce determination to defend his friend, Wen Ning had barely had time to feel touched.

Then Lu Ming added another line.

"Well? Wen Ning, pretty intimidating, right? I didn't embarrass you, did I?"

Just then, another voice came from the entrance.

"Why are so many people blocking the door? Is the bathhouse closed today?"

Bai Lu stood at the entrance to the alley in casual clothes of pale, moonlit white, a booklet in her hand. Frowning, she glanced at Xiong Batian blocking the doorway, then at Lu Ming rolling up his sleeves, before finally settling her gaze on Wen Ning.

The moment Lu Ming saw Bai Lu, he looked as though his savior had arrived.

"Bai Lu, what brings you here? Perfect timing! Someone's come to challenge Wen Ning's dump of a shop!"

"The Heavenly Venerable sent me down to check on the Mortal Realm Office's operations."

Bai Lu walked calmly past Xiong Batian and placed her booklet on the coffee table. Her gaze swept around the room, taking in the large basin in the corner, the electric kettle on the coffee table, and the Mushroom Spirit on a stool. Then she opened the booklet.

"And carry out a Sanitation Compliance Inspection while I'm here."

Xiong Batian watched these people appear one after another.

"Are you accepting or not? Stop dragging your feet! We mountain folk like to get things done! It's just scrubbing a back, not asking you to climb a mountain of blades or plunge into a sea of fire!"

Bai Lu looked up to find someone actually interrupting her.

"What are you shouting for? Where is your shop? Do you have a business license? Next time, I'll bring the Heavenly Court Health Department over for a spot inspection."

Hearing Bai Lu from the Heavenly Court say that, Xiong Batian wilted. His shop had none of the required paperwork. An inspection would guarantee trouble.

Lu Ming, meanwhile, was only too happy to stir things up. He dug two brand-new towels out of Wen Ning's drawer, draped one over his own shoulder, and tossed the other to Wen Ning. Then he turned to Xiong Batian with the tragic resolve of a warrior ready to die for a friend who understood him.

"Lu Ming, commissioner of the Heavenly Court Thunder Department, accepts your challenge. Bring it on."

When Xiong Batian heard Lu Ming accept, he grinned and set his wooden bucket on the floor.

"Simple. Each side picks a customer. We get the time it takes an incense stick to burn, then the customers judge. Whoever scrubs them cleanest and makes them most comfortable wins."

He looked around and pointed at the Mushroom Spirit peeking out from the stool.

"That little mushroom there. Looks thin-skinned and tender. Perfect for a judge."

The Mushroom Spirit's cap shrank a whole size in fright, and the little spirit shook its head frantically.

"Not me, not me! I already washed today. Scrub me again and I'll go bald!"

Wen Ning was equally bewildered. He had not even said anything yet, and Lu Ming had already accepted the challenge.

Just as the two sides were bristling for battle, footsteps sounded at the entrance yet again.

Wen Ning recognized the sound: a walking stick tapping the ground.

It was the Land God.

He ambled up to the entrance and saw the crowd blocking it. "Better to arrive at the right moment than arrive early. Quite a lively gathering you have here today."

At the sight of the Land God, Wen Ning suddenly had an idea.

"Elder Tian, you're just in time. We're having a back-scrubbing competition, and we need a judge. You've lived for over three hundred years, you've seen plenty, and you're our respected elder. You're the perfect person for the job."

The Land God stroked his beard and nodded.

"I only came for a soak, but since I've happened upon this, I don't mind serving as a witness. Let me make one thing clear first: I judge strictly. I won't show anyone favoritism. Only how it feels will count."

Xiong Batian and the thin man exchanged a glance, then nodded their agreement.

Lu Ming drew a deep breath.

Bai Lu found a chair in the corner and sat down, adding another note beside the sanitation compliance field.

An on-site practical back-scrubbing assessment will be conducted. Scores will count toward the overall evaluation.

Xiong Batian poured the herbal bathwater from his bucket into the large basin, and the steaming scent of Chinese medicine instantly filled the shop.

The thin man dipped his bamboo-handled brush into the brew. Once the bristles had soaked up the liquid, they turned green, making the brush look even more alarming.

Lu Ming loosened up his wrists and spoke to Wen Ning.

"You take the first half, and I'll handle the second. Remember, keep the pressure even, your movements steady, and your rhythm precise. Back scrubbing is about using the rolled edge of the towel to lift dead skin from the surface, not just scrubbing hard. Your technique when you scrub the Golden Retriever's fur looks pretty good. You should be fine."

Wen Ning really wanted to point out that when he scrubbed the Golden Retriever's fur, all he did was scrub hard. What technique?

But things had already gone too far to back out now.

Bai Lu sat there holding her pen, but Wen Ning could not shake the feeling that the curve of her lips looked like she was already enjoying his impending misfortune.

The Land God stepped to the front and cleared his throat. His voice was not loud, yet everyone fell silent.

He looked around and slowly raised his right hand.

"I hereby declare—the bathhouse's First Back-Scrubbing Competition officially begins!"