Going upscale with membership cards

After the Essential Oil Back Massage business took off,

Wen Ning soon discovered a harsh reality.

He could no longer handle everything on his own.

Before, the bath-scrubbing business had enjoyed a steady flow of customers, with regulars like the Weasel Old Man, the Sparrow Spirit, and the Hedgehog Spirit taking turns coming in.

He could scrub backs and heat water by himself, and even find time in between to brush the Big Golden Retriever.

Now that he had added Essential Oil Back Massage, the service time for each customer had more than doubled. First came the scrub, then the oil massage, then a rinse, and finally a blow-dry. Some customers enjoyed it so much they even asked for extra time.

The Sparrow Spirit was easy enough to handle. It had now given up on going to the Heavenly Court and joined the ranks of Essential Oil Back Massage enthusiasts.

A few drops of oil were enough to cover its whole body.

But every time the Weasel Old Man finished his massage, he insisted on soaking in hot water to let the oil absorb. By the time the whole process was over,

Wen Ning did not even have time for a drink of water.

Worst of all, new customers kept arriving.

After Xiong Batian left that day, he had spread the word about Wen Ning's new service around Black Wind Mountain.

The other monsters on Black Wind Mountain had all come flocking over after hearing the news.

That afternoon alone, seven or eight monsters from Black Wind Mountain had arrived at once, cramming into the big tub like commuters on a rush-hour subway.

Wen Ning crouched beside the tub, working both sides, scrubbing the one on his left and then the one on his right. By the seventh back, his hands were almost cramping.

That evening, after seeing off the last customer, Wen Ning collapsed onto a stool in exhaustion.

Wen Ning thought he could not keep going like this. He had to limit the number of customers.

So he decided to introduce a membership system. It was not some scarcity-marketing scheme; he simply wanted to control customer traffic through the number of visits recorded on membership cards.

Buy five visits, get one free. That way, customers would save up their visits instead of all crowding his doorway every single day.

Wen Ning felt rather pleased with his business acumen. This way, he would be able to get some proper rest too.

Early the next morning, he cut a stack of stiff cardboard into cards.

Using a marker, he wrote out a dozen or so membership cards by hand.

On the front, he wrote: Heavenly Court Bathhouse, Mortal Realm Branch — VIP Card.

On the back, he drew five empty boxes.

Note: Pay for five visits and receive one free Essential Oil Back Massage.

He even added a line of small print at the very bottom for customers to fill in their birth dates, explaining that they would receive an extra free back scrub during their birthday month.

The inspiration came from his own Heavenly Court Salary Card. Having money deposited on a fixed schedule every month really did feel good.

The Weasel Old Man was the first to receive a membership card.

Soaking in the big tub, he took the handwritten piece of cardboard and looked it over several times, reading every term.

When he finished, he pointed at the small print and asked how he should fill in the birth date.

"I've lived all these years and never celebrated a birthday."

Wen Ning looked at the centuries-old Weasel Old Man and handed him the pen.

"Then put down a day you can remember, sir. Just something to celebrate."

The Weasel Old Man pondered for quite a while, then took the pen and wrote a date in the birth-date field.

Wen Ning took it back and looked. Whoa, this old fellow was almost a thousand years old!

The Sparrow Spirit perched on the electric fan, craning its neck to look over.

The Weasel Old Man dried himself off, stood up out of the tub, and tucked the membership card into the bag he carried with him.

As he happened to pass beneath the electric fan, he took the membership card out of his cloth bag again and waved it in front of the Sparrow Spirit, speaking in an offhand tone.

"See that? I have a VIP card now too. Buy five visits, get one free. Much better value than what you walk-ins get."

The Sparrow Spirit flew onto Wen Ning's shoulder, tilted its head, and stared at the card for a while. Then it flew back to the electric fan and started shouting at him.

"If the weasel gets one, I want one too! Why did you give him one first and not me? I'm a regular who comes every day too!"

The noise made Wen Ning's ears hurt, so he hurriedly cut a card for it as well.

The Sparrow Spirit spent a long time thinking about the birth-date field.

"I don't know my birthday either. Just write spring."

Another one that did not know its own birthday. Wen Ning wrote Beginning of Spring in the field.

Word that Essential Oil Back Massage at Wen Ning's shop required a membership card spread even faster than he had expected.

Over the next few days, every monster who came to the shop signed up for a membership card.

Each monster had its own particular way of filling in its birth date.

The Hedgehog Spirit took the pen and thought for a long time before finally writing "when the first cherry ripened" in the date field.

The peony spirit wrote Grain Rain.

She said that was the day she had bloomed for the first time.

The Stone Spirit could not write, so Xiong Batian drew a mountain in the birth-date field for him. He said the Stone Spirit had sprung out of a crack in the rocks on Black Wind Mountain anyway, so a mountain was the right thing to draw.

Only the Big Golden Retriever knew the details. He filled in not just the year and month of his birth, but even knew what time he had been born.

When Wen Ning asked, it turned out his owner had celebrated his birthday for him before.

With so many monsters signing up for membership cards, mishaps were inevitable.

The Hedgehog Spirit was the first to run into trouble.

He came back the day after getting his card, but stood in the doorway without coming inside, asking rather sheepishly,

"How many more visits do I need to get a free Essential Oil Back Massage?"

Wen Ning took his card and glanced at it.

Not a single box had been checked off. This was only his second day with the card.

He had already taken his bath on the day he got the card and had not visited since. Wen Ning handed the card back to the Hedgehog Spirit.

"You haven't paid for a single visit yet. Come on in and have a bath. I'll give you your first check mark afterward. Once you have five, you can get an Essential Oil Back Massage."

The Hedgehog Spirit huddled in the doorway and worked it out for quite a while. Finally understanding the logic, he nodded and hopped into the big tub.

The peony spirit's membership card was ruined by moisture from her own petals.

She liked to keep the card tucked inside them.

One time, she finished up after her bath without letting her petals dry completely. The damp petals soaked the cardboard until it was all wrinkled, and the writing had blurred.

When she came to Wen Ning for a replacement, she was unusually embarrassed.

She asked whether he could laminate it for her so she would not have to worry about water.

Wen Ning took the membership card, its edges soaked to pulp, and fell silent for a moment.

"Sure. Next time I pass a stationery store, I'll buy you a roll of clear tape."

The most ridiculous case, though, was still the Stone Spirit from Black Wind Mountain.

He got his card in the morning and came back that afternoon.

Wen Ning asked him what was going on.

The Stone Spirit finally managed to force out a sentence.

"I think I ate my card."

Wen Ning thought he had misheard and asked him to say it again.

The Stone Spirit explained honestly that, while taking his midday nap,

He had left the card on the stone table in his cave. Then he got hungry, and in his half-asleep state, felt something hard, assumed it was stored food, and stuffed it into his mouth and swallowed it.

Wen Ning stayed silent for a good while before saying, "That was cardboard, not a biscuit. Can you even digest it?"

The Stone Spirit said it was fine. He could digest rocks, after all. It was just that the writing on the card was probably gone by now.

With a blank expression, Wen Ning said, "Then all the visits you'd accumulated are gone. You'll have to get a new card."

An expression of utter anguish actually appeared in the Stone Spirit's rocky eyes.

He quietly got another new card from Wen Ning. This time, he was especially careful when filling in his birth date, drawing an even bigger mountain.

When Wen Ning took the card, he noticed that the stone spirit had also drawn a person beside the mountain. It was extremely abstract.

There were only five lines and a circle, but judging by the crooked pose, it was probably Wen Ning himself, scrubbing someone's back beside the big tub.