Do You Dare Eat **!!?

["You won't even eat her **, and you dare say you love her!"]

"Whether I fucking love her or not has nothing to do with whether I eat this!"

["If you won't eat it, you don't love her!"]

"No, seriously, what's wrong with you!?"

That night, after a busy day, Chef Herbert secretly retreated into his private space alone and started arguing with his online friend.

Then he learned of the utterly ridiculous procedure of "absorbing mana by eating Magical Beast materials!"

Was that right?

After trading barbs with the Harmonic God, Herbert lowered his head and looked at the palm-sized Rainbow Scales, his expression twisting slightly.

First, a look.

Its colors shifted through the rainbow under the light, with an excellent sheen.

Then, a sniff.

It had a rich fragrance, without any of the fishy, salty smell peculiar to seawater.

He tried giving it a lick.

The taste was slightly sweet, without any odd flavors.

He steeled himself and took a bite... clack.

"Pfft... hehe."

Herbert burst out laughing.

It turned out people really did laugh when they were speechless.

Hey!

Guess what?

He couldn't bite through it.

He couldn't bite through it at all!

Seriously, how was I supposed to eat this?

Smack.

Herbert slapped the scale onto the table and thundered, "You wicked fiend! Are you deliberately making a fool of me!?"

Damn it.

I should never have trusted you, you Harmonic God!

["I've never lied to you, you know~"]

Nenasya paid no mind to Herbert's fury. Judging by her tone, she was even struggling to hold back her laughter.

No, that wasn't right.

Little Miss Evil God hadn't even tried to hide it.

["Don't go making things up. I never told you to bite straight into it!"]

["But I didn't expect... pfft, hahaha! You adorable little thing, you actually went and bit it! Hahahaha~"]

Her laughter was utterly unrestrained, utterly delighted. That seductive, silvery voice even sounded a little lewd.

"...Tch."

After laughing for ages, she finally stopped before Herbert completely boiled over.

But amusement still lingered unmistakably in her voice as she chuckled. ["My dear ally, don't be angry! It was just a tiny little joke. Keep scowling like that and you'll look like you can't take one!"]

"No, I'm currently thinking about whether I can swallow it whole."

["Huh?"] Nenasya was baffled, almost unable to keep up with Herbert's erratic train of thought.

It had only been a joke. A laugh, and it was over.

Herbert really wasn't angry anymore. He had devoted all his attention to figuring out how to get it into his stomach.

"Nothing is unfit to eat; it is only a matter of proper heat and balancing the five flavors." - Miscellaneous Morsels from Youyang, "Wine and Food"

The ancients had already said it: there were only bad-tasting and good-tasting things in this world, not things that couldn't be eaten.

Seeing Herbert lost in thought, Nenasya ventured uncertainly, ["Um..."]

"Let me think about how to prepare it. Stir-fry? Flash-fry? Or deep-fry?"

["Hellooo~ Are you still there~"]

"Deep-fry? Pan-fry?"

["...Excuse me?"]

"Slow-simmer? Bake? Braise?"

["HAH!!!"]

A soul-shaking shout exploded in his mind, startling Herbert so badly that his whole body jolted and he nearly tumbled off his stool.

It took him quite a while to recover. He looked up blankly and asked in confusion, "Why are you shouting so loudly?"

["Before you ask that, would you like to recall what you were just doing?"]

"All I did was ignore you. Did you really have to scare me like that?"

Herbert replied with complete confidence, seeing nothing wrong with what he had done.

They were allies cooperating as equals, after all. If she could tease him, he could ignore her.

Neither of them was going to indulge the other.

["Hah. Holy Knight."]

"Hah. Evil God."

After their sneering exchange, Herbert drew his sword and tried cutting the scale with its edge.

Herbert's sword was no ordinary weapon. The king of the Frost Crystal Kingdom had personally bestowed it upon him when he came of age, and it was said to have been forged long ago by a Royal Legendary.

Although it was only high-tier, its hardness rivaled that of a Legendary weapon!

Scrape-

With a grating screech, the two separated. Only a tiny nick remained where the Rainbow Scales had been cut, shedding a little glittering powder.

"..."

As Herbert looked at the powder scattered across the tabletop, an idea suddenly flashed through his mind, and he leaned down toward it.

He pursed his lips and sucked hard.

Slurp-

"Too! Too! Too! Too... too harsh! Cough! Cough, cough!"

He hadn't dared snort it through his nose, fearing it would irritate him into a fit of sneezing. But he hadn't expected to suck the powder straight onto his throat, either.

As it turned out, the Rainbow Scales' powder was unexpectedly spicy. It irritated him into a relentless coughing fit, making him feel as though he would cough his windpipe out.

["..."]

Nenasya quietly watched him for a while as though observing an idiot, then finally let out a helpless sigh. ["Aha, this really is..."]

Honestly, the esteemed Evil God was beginning to feel just a little regretful.

I'd been too hasty.

I shouldn't have decided so easily that this fellow was qualified to be my partner.

Just look at him.

Wasn't he an idiot?

["Forget it. The process wasn't quite right, but this is barely workable."]

She finally stopped standing idly by and took control of Herbert's left hand, drawing his fingertip across the sword's edge and leaving a cut neither too large nor too small.

Then she pressed his index finger against the Rainbow Scales, squeezing a glistening drop of fresh blood onto the nick.

"Cough, cough. What's this, blood, cough, to bind it to its owner? Cough, cough!"

Seriously, what age were they living in? Was it still this old-fashioned?

Just as Herbert continued coughing without forgetting to snark, something changed.

Hiss-

As though it had touched a red-hot branding iron, the Rainbow Scales were instantly consumed by the blood, turning into a cloud of bloody mist that rushed into his throat.

Gulp.

It was like swallowing a cup of scalding water poured from a kettle the instant it boiled. Herbert's face twisted and contorted as a stifled growl squeezed out of his throat.

"Hsss-not hot! Cough, cough!"

Burning.

He felt as though his throat had burned through, and even his soul was shriveling in the searing heat.

But just as Herbert desperately wanted to find a cup of cold water and gulp it down to ease the pain, that burning sensation receded like the tide.

In less than a breath, all the pain vanished without a trace, as though it had only been an illusion.

Before Herbert had time to think, another sensation spread throughout his body, cool and refreshing, yet like soaking in a hot spring.

He seemed to hear the sound of the tide.

Whoosh-

He opened his eyes and found himself in a vast, rolling ocean, rising and falling with the surging tides.

Yet, surprisingly, Herbert felt no fear.

Because he heard a melodious song coming from far away.

He shouldn't have understood that ancient language, yet he seemed able to grasp the meaning of the song.

The song told a story.

An ancient, tragically beautiful story-