Absolutely Ridiculous

[Wow! Thrilling!]

[What a massive romantic showdown! The male lead and the supporting male lead are both watching from the sidelines!]

[Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him!]

Just as Jiang Miaomiao was about to throw herself into Lu Qingchen's arms, he shifted and retreated several steps away. Jiang Miaomiao tried to stumble into him again, but Lu Qingchen held the Canglang Sword across his body, and she finally steadied herself.

Ning Xiang was rather disappointed. How boring!

The Chongming Bird carried Ning Xiang to Dao-Seeking Slope.

Dao-Seeking Slope lay in the most remote southwestern corner of the Profound Heaven Sect. It was nothing more than a few rolling hills, surrounded by lush green trees. Blue-green fireflies drifted through the woods, and mist wreathed the mountains, making it feel as though one had wandered into an immortal paradise, dreamlike and illusory.

Ning Xiang's destination was Reflection Cliff, beneath Dao-Seeking Slope.

Whenever his disciples did something wrong, Lu Qingchen would punish them by sending them to Reflection Cliff to reflect on their actions.

Beneath Reflection Cliff lay an endless abyss. The wind howled past like the wails of ten thousand ghosts. Legend had it that this was the entrance connecting the Cultivation Realm and the Demon Realm.

But Ning Xiang, who had the script in hand, knew this was merely a rift the Demon Lord had carved out with the Soul-Devouring Whip when the sects of the Cultivation Realm surrounded and attacked him years ago.

Ning Xiang was now in a cave carved into Reflection Cliff. Returning to this familiar haunt, she found that nothing had changed.

She cast a Dust-Cleansing Spell to clean up the cave, then summoned a whole heap of things from her spirit bracelet in a rush.

A screen embroidered with landscapes, flowers, and trees, a super-luxurious soft bed big enough for ten people to roll around on, two paper-puppet maids, a stack of storybooks, all sorts of delicate, delicious pastries and fruit...

There was even a dressing table covered in all the beauty treatments, skincare, and makeup products Ning Xiang had concocted. It was utterly ridiculous.

Just look at your decor beside this icy cave. Doesn't that clash horribly?

[Ding! Congratulations to the host for advancing a plot milestone, although the direction of the plot is somewhat bizarre. The system rewards the host with two hundred thousand low-grade spirit stones. The reward has been delivered immediately to the host's spirit stone pouch.]

"Huh?" Ning Xiang said. "Are you kidding me? When have I ever been short of spirit stones? You think a measly two hundred thousand low-grade spirit stones will get rid of me? I'll give you one chance to choose again."

Her father was a peak master at the Nascent Soul Late Stage, and Ning Xiang had grown up with a golden spoon in her mouth. Never mind low-grade spirit stones-she could even throw high-grade spirit stones around for fun.

Besides, spirit stones would have no other use if she brought them back to the modern world.

The system: ...

A good system knew when to bend and when to stand tall. It hurriedly said, [In view of the host's outstanding performance, the host receives a special reward: Intermediate Talisman Art.]

Ning Xiang nodded in satisfaction. That was more like it, though grandmaster-level would have been even better.

"What about that prize draw you mentioned?"

The system brought up a screen rippling like water, displaying cards arranged in four rows and four columns.

[Please turn over a random card, host.]

Ning Xiang was itching to try. "I want more beauty! Or better figure stats. Never mind, I'm already beautiful enough. Let's improve my movement skills instead!"

She tapped with a slender finger, choosing the card in the second row and second column.

The card flipped over. Amid a brilliant golden glow, a single word stood out-

Defense.

"Damn!" Ning Xiang said. "Are you trying to make me better at taking a beating? I demand another draw!"

The system smiled. [This was the host's own choice, so it cannot be changed. However, the host may choose to forfeit this opportunity to increase a stat.]

Ning Xiang: Fuck your ancestors!

After reluctantly accepting the defense stat, Ning Xiang began studying talisman arts.

In her previous life, she had focused solely on scraping through the plot and had barely improved herself at all. Things were different now. She could take all these skills back to the modern world!

From this moment on, she would work twice as hard! She would grind every cultivator in the Profound Heaven Sect into the dust!

To be fair, the original owner of this body had excellent aptitude: a supreme-grade fire spiritual root, plus a father who constantly supplied her with supreme-grade spirit stones. Her cultivation could have advanced a thousand miles a day.

She had reached Foundation Establishment at fourteen and Core Formation at twenty-one. Now, at twenty-seven, she was already at the Core Formation Middle Stage. She had once been a promising talent whom all the True Lords of the Profound Heaven Sect held in high regard.

Who could have expected the original owner to become a groveling lapdog for love, doing nothing but vying with the female lead for a man's affection and neglecting her cultivation? What a waste.

Wasn't eternal life appealing enough? Why drown yourself in all this lovey-dovey nonsense?

Once you ascend, what kind of man couldn't you have?

Ning Xiang was heartbroken!

She swept her fingertips through the air, and golden light streamed from them. Talisman paper, cinnabar, and other supplies appeared on the incense table.

Ning Xiang picked up a brush, dipped it in a little cinnabar, and made several strokes on the talisman paper. They looked casual, but she was actually writing incantations.

Holding the completed talisman between her fingers, she tossed it into the air and sent a stream of spiritual energy into it. The incantations on the paper shone with dazzling golden light. Then the talisman exploded in midair with a deafening boom-

The cave entrance had actually been blasted into rubble?!

Ning Xiang: If I'd known, I would have tested it outside. I wasn't trying to demolish my own place!

But this Explosive Talisman works wonderfully!

Ning Xiang drew a Soundproofing Talisman, blocking out the harsh, grating sounds from beneath the cliff.

She bent over her work and drew quite a few more talismans, storing them in her spirit bracelet.

Ning Xiang cast a cleaning spell to remove the dust clinging to her, then stretched.

According to the original plot, Jiang Miaomiao would visit her on her third day of confinement at Reflection Cliff. But the original story made no mention of what happened during those three days, so Ning Xiang decided to coast along and slack off.

She conjured up... a pot and a heap of hot pot ingredients.

Ning Xiang moved her index finger, and a small flame sprang from its tip. The flame licked the bottom of the pot, bringing the bright red broth to a rolling boil.

The system: This is absolutely ridiculous! But why do I want some so badly too?

Ning Xiang was happy beyond measure, busily adding all kinds of meat while eating with gusto.

"Oh, right! I forgot to prepare drinks!" She smacked her forehead and finally dug a bottle of plum wine out of a corner of her spirit bracelet. "Sigh, this'll have to do. What else can I do?"

The system: So much to roast, nowhere to start.

Ning Xiang had her head down, eating away. With Soundproofing Talismans set up around her as well, she failed to notice a figure as white as frost and snow appear inside the cave.

"Ning Xiang."

"Hm?" Ning Xiang instinctively turned her head, and the meatball held between her chopsticks fell.

[Shit, why is that lunatic Lu Qingchen here? Shouldn't he be comforting Jiang Miaomiao?]

Ning Xiang practically bristled. She hated being disturbed while eating more than anything, but she couldn't break character!

"Masterrr~~~" Ning Xiang said in an unbearably syrupy, cloying voice. "Do you still have feelings for your Xiang'er? Have you come to take me back?"

Lu Qingchen shuddered and hurriedly took two steps back. "Ning Xiang, calm down."

[You think I want to do this? One look at you shaves ten years off my life, you know!]

Outwardly, however, Ning Xiang showed no trace of impatience. With tears brimming in both eyes, she gazed ardently at Lu Qingchen. "Master, Xiang'er is so happy you came to see me. I wouldn't dare ask for more. As long as you keep Xiang'er in your thoughts at every moment, I'll be perfectly content."