Make a fried fish at a certain time~
Crosstalk: Regarding the fact that I was forced to endure All the World's Evil to become Heroic Spirit and finally participated in Holy Grail War.
(Tip: This is purely fictional and a joke, please do not substitute it into the main article.)
Cast——
Funny: Angra Mainyu
Praise: Shinji Matou.
Actors come on stage——
Blah blah blah! (Applause from the audience.)
Angra Mainyu: "Hey, so many people are waiting for me to complain~"
Shinji (To the audience): "Tsk, tsk~ It's not easy for me to be safe."
Angra Mainyu: "Matou...Matou What is it?"
Shinji (angry): "Shinji Matou!"
Angra Mainyu: "Oh, Shinji Matou, Matou brother, that Matou brother just played a trick on me."
Shinji: "Why did I just play tricks on you?"
Angra Mainyu: "You don't know why you are playing tricks on me? So many people just saw it!"
Shinji: "Who is it? Who saw it?"
(The audience booed——)
Angra Mainyu: "Did you see it? Everyone saw it!"
Shinji (waving to the audience): "Go! Stop making noise!"
Angra Mainyu (referring to Shinji): "This brother Matou is really not a good person. He tore my scar just now! It... hurt! It was bleeding!"
Shinji (To the audience): "That's nonsense, I didn't touch his butt at all!"
Angra Mainyu: "Butt? What does the butt have to do with?"
Shinji: "Didn't you just get hemorrhoids cut yesterday?"
Angra Mainyu: "It has nothing to do with that! It's the scar in my heart! It can't even be affected by that!"
Shinji: "Oh, oh, that's it. Then what's the scar on the soul?"
Angra Mainyu (sighed): "Hey, this Matou brother is really not a good person. You see, this is starting to expose my scars again."
Shinji: "Why did I start to expose your scars again? I didn't even touch you."
Angra Mainyu: "You can't ask! Asking will expose my scars!"
Shinji: "Okay, I won't ask."
Angra Mainyu: "If you don't ask, how can this cross talk continue?"
Shinji: "I think you just need a big mouth, you know?"
Angra Mainyu: "Have you seen it, friends, this is a wicked person! Look at his ferocious face! Tsk, tsk, tsk! My wounds are starting to hurt again!"
Shinji: "I didn't even ask, why does it hurt again?"
Angra Mainyu: "When I got excited, I slapped my butt. Ouch~ I have freshly cut hemorrhoids~"
Shinji: "Hey! It's hemorrhoids!"
Angra Mainyu: "Hey! It's not just that! The scars in the soul are also bleeding!"
Shinji: "Come on, come on, open it up and let everyone see if it's true."
Angra Mainyu: "Tsk, tsk, tsk, friends, look at this Matou... this thing, can he be considered a human being? Is this what a human can say?"
Shinji: "Don't force me to do it. Besides, are you still acting?"
Angra Mainyu: "Okay, okay, do it!"
(Turns his head to look at Shinji, saying nothing.)
Shinji: "What are you looking at me for? You are acting!"
Angra Mainyu: "How can you act if you don't ask me?"
Shinji: "Okay, you have to start with me, so I'm here to ask, you..."
Angra Mainyu (covering chest): "Yo yo yo, it hurts, it hurts... I have to..."
Shinji (kick): "Move to the side and die!"
Angra Mainyu (clears throat): "Ahem, let's play, let's do it, let's stop making trouble."
Shinji: "You must stop making trouble, it has started. Ahem! That is to say..."
Angra Mainyu: "Ouch~"
Shinji (kick): "Are you going to die?"
Angra Mainyu: "Let's stop making trouble, let's start again."
Shinji: "Why do you hate this person so much? Here we go again, you personally said that you have suffered so many grievances... Hey, hey! Why are you still crying?"
Angra Mainyu (wiping away tears): "I can't think about it! I can't control myself when I think about it! Wuwuwu——"
Shinji: "Yes, it seems that the cross talk can't be performed today."
Angra Mainyu: "Let me tell you, audience friends, those people are simply not human!"
Shinji: "Is this the beginning?"
Angra Mainyu: "I was very happy and happy that day, carrying a hoe and getting ready to go out to work, but as soon as I went out..."
Shinji: "You were beaten?"
Angra Mainyu: "Yeah! I was beaten! It was still a group fight!"
Shinji: "Did any of the audience bring firecrackers?"
Angra Mainyu: "That's not the point! The point is what happens next!"
Shinji: "Being beaten is not a big deal?"
Angra Mainyu: "The point is that after they beat me, they still framed me! They charged me with many charges that have nothing to do with me! They didn't even let me argue!"
Shinji: "This is indeed quite irritating. I feel irritated just thinking about it. What's the crime?"
Angra Mainyu: "Jiligulujiiliguala..."
Shinji: "Speak humanly!"
Angra Mainyu: "Jiligulujiiliguala..."
Shinji: "What happened to your vocal cords at home? Tell me! Tell me openly! Everyone is here to hear your complaints! Number one! Just tell me what the first crime they charged you with is!"
Angra Mainyu (whispering): "... Peering over the wall to peek at the Widow Wang next door taking a shower..."
Shinji: "Why do I think this is not an injustice to you?"
Angra Mainyu: "That's not the point! What's behind is the point!"
Shinji: "No, just based on this alone, I feel like I beat the wrong person. I want to beat you. This kid is really in need."
Angra Mainyu: "There is no need to talk about the second, third and hundredth charges."
Shinji (pull Angra Mainyu): "No, I think it is necessary to talk about it."
Angra Mainyu: "I said it doesn't matter! What matters is what their real purpose is!"
Shinji: "Why don't I teach you a lesson by going from house to house and watching other people's wives take a shower?"
Angra Mainyu: "How do you know? Ahem, no, no! Their real purpose is to add a BUFF to me!"
Shinji: "Buff?"
Angra Mainyu: "That's right! Added a big buff to me!"
Shinji: "How about playing games? Buff, what Buff?"
Angra Mainyu: "I'll scare you if I say it!"
Shinji: "Then you should tell me."
Angra Mainyu: "All the World's Evil!"
Shinji: "All the World's Evil?"
Angra Mainyu (proudly): "That's right! All the World's Evil! You're so awesome, friends!"
Shinji: "Awesome? It doesn't sound like a good name."
Angra Mainyu: "That's how I became Heroic Spirit! I also participated in Holy Grail War!"
Shinji: "So, are you feeling wronged or not? Why do you feel so happy?"
Angra Mainyu (rolled up sleeves): "I'm not bragging, audience friends, the weakest one among Holy Grail War... is me!"
Shinji: "Why are you so proud of being the weakest?"
Angra Mainyu: "What happened to the weakest? What happened to the weakest?! Does being the weakest hinder my pride?!"
Shinji: "I just don't think this is something to be proud of. Others are only proud of it if they are great."
Angra Mainyu: "What you said, then I have to ask you in turn, are you Heroic Spirit? Have you ever participated in Holy Grail War? Have you ever had the experience of being summoned by a group of fair-looking girls (Einzbern)?"
Shinji: "I haven't even experienced it."
Angra Mainyu: "That's fine, so I can't be proud?"
Shinji: "I just think it's a bit off topic. Didn't you just say that you were wronged?"
Angra Mainyu: "Listen to me, gentlemen in the audience, Third Holy Grail War, the girl who summoned me is so pretty! There are rows of girls in their house who look exactly like they were carved from the same mold! Those days, tsk tsk..."
Shinji: "Hey, come back, come back, wipe off your saliva, and also, they are all from the same mold. That's it!"
Angra Mainyu: "Never mind so many, the leader of the human clan had already said that as long as he could win, it would all be mine!"
Shinji: "Hey, this is so generous. Even a man probably can't stand this."
Angra Mainyu: "That's right! As soon as I heard this, I was so excited! I arranged for my future wives and went directly to the front line!"
Shinji: "My wife was called? What happened next?"
Angra Mainyu: "Lost."
Shinji: "How did you lose?"
Angra Mainyu: "It was chopped down on the fourth day."
Shinji: "Yeah, I almost forgot that you have the weakest setting."
Angra Mainyu: "Hey! No, I forgot about it at the time!"
Shinji: "You said you even forgot about it?"
Angra Mainyu: "Isn't that exciting? Who cares about those little things for a while?"
Shinji: "You can't forget this even if you are excited. Can't you just hide away if you are weak?"
Angra Mainyu: "I regret it too! Originally it was all my wife! Then... there was no one left!"
Shinji: "What happens next?"
Angra Mainyu: "Later on, I settled in Holy Grail."
Shinji: "Oh... Huh? You will settle down later? You didn't go back (Throne of Heroes)?"
Angra Mainyu: "My wife is still here, can I go back?"
Shinji: "Isn't she still your wife?"
Angra Mainyu: "I don't care, I can't go back without my wife! I'm just a scumbag! I won't go back for life or death!"
Shinji: "It's really yours."
Angra Mainyu: "Then about sixty years later, I suddenly found out that someone had snatched my wife! I was so angry at the time... ugh! I was so angry!"
Shinji: "Real or false?"
Angra Mainyu: "Just because of the man's hair style and the cat ears, I was so angry! Really, I wanted to kill him at that time! The hatred of my wife is irreconcilable, my friends!"
Shinji: "Cat ears... cat ears... yes, it's Kiritsugu!"
Angra Mainyu: "Yeah! That's right, that's the name! After he was discovered robbing my wife, I didn't let him go! I used Holy Grail to deal with him! I even cursed him!"
Shinji: "Why did he steal your wife? Irisviel? That has nothing to do with you. He was only one year old when he married Kiritsugu."
Angra Mainyu: "No matter what, whoever looks like that is my wife! As long as she comes out of the same mold, she will be my wife!"
Shinji: "Okay, it's starting to be irrational. What happens next?"
Angra Mainyu: "It doesn't happen anymore. I took my wife back (personality, skin) and became the stepfather of my child (Illya)."
Shinji: "Wait a minute, why did you become your child's stepfather?"
Angra Mainyu: "I am embarrassed to say that I am a father, but I have no choice but to accept it after it happened. In the next ten years, her mother and I lived in Holy Grail. Sometimes I was afraid that the child would be lonely, so I would take her mother to visit her from time to time (to deceive, contaminate, and guide) her."
Shinji: "Aren't you so concerned about your own children?"
Angra Mainyu: "That's nothing!"
Shinji: "This guy has a really big heart."
Angra Mainyu: "Come on, he can't be angry with that cat-eared man."
Shinji: "Yes, I can't be mad at you."
Angra Mainyu: "Then he found himself a son!"
Shinji: "Hmm... hey? If you don't wait a minute, what does it have to do with him finding a son for himself? He's not even close to him."
Angra Mainyu: "Can't you bear it?"
Shinji: "Well, I can't stand it."
Angra Mainyu: "That has nothing to do with me. I have a wife and I can't care about it, hihihi..."
Shinji (kick): "Look at your bitch..."
The two bowed at the same time————
(I can't make it up anymore, so just laugh at it, don't take it seriously.)
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