What kind of shit luck had Luobo'an stumbled into to hire Chen Stormstout as a follower?
This was the famous Pandaren hero Chen Stormstout, a neutral hero who had appeared in Warcraft. In the Mists of Pandaria expansion, he had quested alongside players in Pandaria, taking in the beautiful scenery of the Pandaren homeland along the way.
Could Luobo'an be this world's true chosen one? Should I consider switching commanders? The thought flashed through Robbie's mind.
Of course, that was only a joke.
Thinking about the reason, it wasn't hard to guess.
Chen Stormstout had undoubtedly come looking for the mysterious fiftieth person too. He had followed the clues to Luobo'an's fortress, perhaps unaware that it had changed hands.
The fiftieth person who had raided the Dark Portal was a good-for-nothing, and Luobo'an was a complete good-for-nothing too. Apart from Yrel, who knew the fiftieth person well, others really would have trouble telling them apart.
Robbie hesitated.
Should he reveal the truth? If Chen Stormstout learned it, he would surely walk away, and Luobo'an would lose an incredibly powerful follower.
But if he said nothing, the truth couldn't stay hidden forever. Sooner or later, it would come out.
If Comrade Stormstout became unhappy after spending too long as a good-for-nothing's follower, then drank a little and lost his temper, he might very well sneak up and snap Luobo'an's neck.
Don't assume heroes wouldn't kill people indiscriminately. This wasn't a game world, after all.
For the sake of his old friend Luobo'an's life, Robbie decided to tell the truth.
"Luobo'an, your fortress is in a great location." Robbie was steering the conversation.
Luobo'an Fortress was indeed superbly situated, with mountains and water, beautiful scenery, and an elegant environment. It was easy to defend and hard to attack. It had been prepared for the fiftieth person from the Dark Portal, after all, so it was a fine spot.
Vanessa's place was good too, but there was a raven nest nearby, and it was so close to Shockfist, the stone giant. It was a terribly troublesome place, which was why nobody had picked it.
Luobo'an took the bait, as expected. Beaming, he said:
"Robbie, you've got a good eye. Look at my place. Apart from the way it's built, there's nothing to complain about. Let me tell you a secret: I practically got it for free."
Chen Stormstout immediately pricked up his ears.
Recalling what had happened, Luobo'an first complained to Robbie, "Back then, I took the commander's certificate I'd finally managed to get and found the land I'd been assigned. Good heavens, all I could see was a vast sea! Was that any place to build a fortress? I would've had to reclaim land from the sea and make an island!"
He even knew about reclaiming land to make an island. That was a decent bit of knowledge; he'd made progress. Robbie nodded along.
"You'll never guess what happened next." Luobo'an grew even more pleased with himself, looking almost ready to float away. "I met a Lobstrok on the beach. He said he had a good piece of land and was willing to trade it with me. Lobstrok live in the sea, of course. Sooner or later, they'd dry out and die on land."
"That makes sense." Robbie kept nodding.
Chen Stormstout secretly took out a little notebook and wrote it down.
"Then I traded for this great place. The fortress was already here, so I didn't even have to build one." Luobo'an asked curiously, "Why would our Alliance give a commander's certificate to a Lobstrok, though?"
Experiment 335 was an undying soul from an unknown world, capable of inhabiting the bodies of most races on the Azeroth Continent. Presumably, the Bronze Dragonflight had run out of bodies prepared for 335, so it had chosen to possess a Lobstrok.
Of course, he couldn't say any of that, at least not to Luobo'an.
"Who knows? Maybe that Lobstrok saved Thrall, the savior," Robbie said offhandedly.
Chen Stormstout gave a cold snort, and his expression turned a little strange.
Strange. Robbie's eyes darted, and he ventured, "No, if he'd saved Thrall, he should have gone to the Horde's Frostfire Ridge to build a fortress. Maybe he saved Prince Anduin."
Chen Stormstout's expression remained normal, but he secretly wrote that down in his notebook too.
He really didn't need to write that down.
What Luobo'an heard sounded plausible, so he nodded along.
The matter had been cleared up. That person had become a Lobstrok again, but unfortunately, the clue was meaningless. So much time had passed; who knew what he had become since?
The beer Chen Stormstout brewed really did live up to its reputation. The slightly tipsy feeling made Robbie pleasantly dizzy and particularly comfortable. As he immersed himself in the aroma of the beer, he suddenly heard an argument.
One listen was enough to tell it was Luobo'an, complaining loudly in the kitchen.
"Old Chen, this is where you're wrong. Back in Stormshield, you were the oldest, dumbest, laziest, and fattest of that bunch of Pandaren. You were especially crafty, too, so nobody wanted to hire you. I gave you a job guarding the door so you could get your fill. I'll admit, you brew good beer, but so what? Can that skill compare to mining or leatherworking? If you really walk away and can't find enough to eat again, don't come back looking for me."
Damn, Luobo'an, you've got some nerve, dressing down Chen Stormstout like that. You're even better at courting death than I am.
Robbie sobered up instantly and hurriedly pricked up his ears to listen.
Luobo'an and Chen Stormstout argued for a while. Most of the shouting came from Luobo'an, who refused to let him go. In the end, Chen Stormstout grew fed up and traded a beer recipe for his Follower employment certificate, settling the matter.
What a shame, Luobo'an. You have no idea what opportunity you missed.
A hero's friendship.
After chatting for a while longer, Robbie saw that the sun was almost down and rose to take his leave.
Not far outside the fortress, he saw Chen Stormstout standing on one leg atop a wooden stake, his leg slightly bent and his arms spread like a great bird opening its wings. He recited in a loud voice:
"Why do we fight? Why do the leaves fall? Nature cannot be changed, and we too carry questions in our hearts. Young one, look at that golden sunset. What does it bring to mind?"
Robbie glanced at the sunset, then looked over the dirt-covered Pandaren and said with a sigh, "The sunset is infinitely beautiful, but dusk is nearly upon us. Senior, you're old."
"You..." Chen Stormstout stumbled and nearly pitched headfirst onto the ground.
"Don't you think this beautiful sunset looks like countless glittering gold coins?" Chen Stormstout beckoned and rubbed his fingers together as though counting coins. "Young man, out in the world, times are harsh and the road is full of hardship. Help a fellow traveler in need and lend me eight hundred thousand or a million gold coins, will you?"
Eight hundred thousand or a million gold coins? Do you think my family runs a bank in Stormwind City?
"I don't have any money. I'm not lending you any."
Robbie had no favorable impression of someone who asked to borrow money the first time they met. No matter who it was, he refused outright and raised a foot to leave.
"Wait, young man. Don't be so impatient."
Chen Stormstout rolled across the ground to Robbie, his beard fluttering, and said with a beaming smile, "If you don't have eight hundred thousand or a million, eighty or a hundred gold coins will do. Hey! Don't you recognize me?"
"Who are you?" Robbie feigned surprise, scratching his head repeatedly and furrowing his brow. "Let me think, let me think. Why can't I remember?"
Chen Stormstout waited with a smile for Robbie to express his admiration.
"Lorewalker Cho! Right, you must be Lorewalker Cho," Robbie said loudly.
The Pandaren's expression turned ugly.
Lorewalker Cho was a Pandaren scholar from Pandaria and an important NPC throughout the Mists of Pandaria expansion. He taught players self-cultivation, tree trimming, painting, bird feeding, meditation, and the like, embodying the Pandaren virtues of peace and wisdom.
Unfortunately, he was a complete weakling who couldn't even truss a chicken.
"Wrong, no, no. Think again, think again."
Chen Stormstout was very patient. He deliberately showed the wine gourd attached to his staff. It bore a Pandaren paw print, with the words "Stormstout" carved beneath it in small characters.
"Oh, I know!" Robbie stared at the wine gourd and pointed at the Pandaren's nose. "You're Old Uncle Gao from the Stormstout Brewery in Pandaria."
"That's right, young man, you've got a good eye... Bah! What nonsense! You've got the wrong person again." Chen Stormstout's face, never particularly fair to begin with, was now almost as black as charcoal.
Old Uncle Gao of the Stormstout Brewery, whose real name was Gao Stormstout, was an obscure nobody compared to Lorewalker Cho and Chen Stormstout. He was a brewer driven mad by his desire to create the perfect beer and had appeared only in the Stormstout Brewery dungeon.
"I am Chen Stormstout, beloved by all, whose presence makes flowers bloom and stops female Pandaren in their tracks, guardian of the planet Azeroth, the most handsome and famous Pandaren in Pandaria, a genius brewer who loves his drink more than life itself!"
Chen Stormstout struck what he thought was a dashing pose and boasted about himself.
Robbie thought of Thrall's signature, which had also called him a guardian of the planet and the most handsome Orc, among other things.
Were the heroes of the Azeroth Continent all this shameless?
"Senior Chen Stormstout, I've long admired your name... Never heard of you. See you."
"Wait." Chen Stormstout blocked Robbie's way again and chuckled. "Young man, don't be so quick-tempered. Borrowing money is actually secondary. I'm here to persuade you on someone's behalf."
"A persuader? For whom?" I saw it long ago. This guy has another purpose, Robbie thought.
"For the Draenei vindicator Maraad."
Chen Stormstout put on the manner of a kindly old soul. "As the saying goes, better to settle an enmity than keep it going. Everyone runs into trouble traveling through life, and another friend means another path. Maraad was wrong to ambush you in front of the Dark Portal, but he was mainly thinking of the bigger picture. He didn't hand you over to the Iron Horde, though. That was all the work of that old scoundrel Thrall."
Thrall, an old scoundrel?
Robbie hadn't expected Chen Stormstout to call Thrall that.
"Maraad has prepared a lavish feast at Starfall Outpost, with Archmage Khadgar acting as mediator. He hopes you can put the past behind you and turn from enemies into friends. We're all Alliance, one family. What grudge can't we settle?"
"No thanks. I don't want to attend a Hongmen banquet." Robbie shook his head and refused.
"What's a Hongmen banquet?"
Chen Stormstout thought it probably wasn't anything good.
"Don't worry, nothing will happen. The Draenei are very pragmatic and never engage in pointless contests of pride. If they can't win, they admit they're wrong; if they can make peace, they make peace. Prophet Velen once said, 'We Draenei should keep a low profile for now. Stay steady, don't get reckless.'"
"Play it safe and develop?" Robbie added offhandedly.
"Develop what, chest muscles?" Chen Stormstout shook his head. "If the Draenei had developed a little, would the Orcs have nearly wiped them out in Outland?"
Robbie took a deep breath.
Robbie had always harbored reservations about the hero Chen Stormstout, which was why he had acted so unfriendly toward him.
"Chen Stormstout, answer honestly: do you belong to the Alliance or the Horde?"