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Days of Courting Death in Azeroth
Chapter 708

Halfhill's Laxative

1,353 words 5 min read 0 views 2d ago Source ​
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"A despicable traitor, a shameless the Betrayer."

Looking at the portraits of the two masters on the wanted poster, the Pandaren were filled with righteous indignation, wishing they could skin them alive and eat them.

"Don't let me see them, or I'll skin them alive!" A young Pandaren, his eyes bloodshot, clenched his fists and roared in front of everyone.

The young people's opinions sparked widespread discussion, and all the Pandaren supported their approach.

"How could we Pandaren have such a despicable traitor?" A chubby Pandaren looked puzzled. "I thought traitors only existed in novels and fictions, but I never imagined there would be traitors among us. They are a disgrace to the Pandaren and should be the lowest form of food."

The lowest quality food is considered one of the greatest insults among the Pandaren.

Just as the many Pandaren were discussing this, a Pandaren from the Peace Dove stood on a high platform, revealing a set of white and even teeth, and gave a loud speech:

"The great Orcs fought tirelessly for Azeroth. Thrall, the Savior Thrall, refused to leave the front lines even when severely wounded, continuing to command the battle. Saurfang the Great fought the Troggs for seven days and seven nights, Execute hundreds of thousands of Troggs, until he collapsed from exhaustion and was carried off the battlefield. The Orcs are role models for us Pandaren, producing countless heroic figures worthy of our praise. They fought valiantly on the front lines, bringing us peace and tranquility. What have we done in return?"

Deeply moved by this fellow's call, the Pandaren of Halfhill joined in the shouting:

For Azeroth.

"For the great Savior, Thrall."

"For the noble Orcs."

Seeing that the atmosphere had been built up enough, the Pandaren of the Peace Dove announced loudly:

"I suggest that we donate money and supplies to the Orcs, generously support their valiant fight, and Consecration our love to Azeroth. This is something every conscientious Pandaren should do."

Soon, some Pandaren stepped forward to lead the donation. It should be noted that Pandaren live a simple life and are generally not wealthy, but they never hesitate to donate their gold coins after being encouraged.

They had family members with serious illnesses who needed medicine to save their lives, or infants crying for food and their food supplies were running out. But after hearing the speech by the Peace Dove, they donated their last gold coin without hesitation.

These gold coins, after being collected, were eventually delivered to the great Savior Thrall, who used them to buy his favorite delicacies from the Tauren, Pandaren, and other creatures, in order to enjoy a life of luxury and corruption.

Not long after, bad news arrived: the battle on the front lines was becoming increasingly intense. Although tens of millions of the Evil Troggs had been wiped out, they continued to pour in, and the great Orcs were about to be overwhelmed.

When the Orcs needed Pandaren as cannon fodder, the Peace Dove once again displayed their eloquence, delivering a passionate speech recounting the Evil of the Troggs, the bravery of the Orcs, and the greatness of Thrall, the Savior:

"The Evil Troggs are attempting to destroy Azeroth, and all races of Azeroth have united. Fellow countrymen, we Pandaren are also part of Azeroth, and we should Consecration our strength. Azeroth awaits our salvation. Every passionate Pandaren should go to the Battlefield and fight for Azeroth. Those who wish to sign up, please come this way; you can receive an autographed photo of Thrall, the Savior."

Despite the Pandaren's enthusiastic donations of money and supplies, when asked to leave Pandaria and dedicate themselves to the great cause of saving Azeroth, the Pandaren generally backed down.

In fact, most Pandaren have no opportunity to practice martial arts. They are just ordinary people, unlike those highly skilled martial arts masters who travel around. Living in the mist, the Pandaren are filled with fear of the outside world.

Despite their best efforts, only a small number of zealots actually signed up for the Peace Dove campaign.

The Peace Dove's recruitment efforts were unsuccessful, Chen Stormstout returned to Pandaria.

His whereabouts are elusive; he never appears in public and secretly contacts the Pandaren officials.

For example, the mayor of Halfhill initially received Chen Stormstout with a displeased expression. It's unclear what they discussed, but upon parting, he was reluctant to leave Stormstout, displaying an expression of flattery and obsequiousness.

In this secret negotiation, Doras's Wealth played a crucial role; when the mayor looked at the ordinary people again, he could clearly see heaps of walking gold coins.

The very next day, the mayor summoned all able-bodied young men of marriageable age in Halfhill and began to tirelessly deliver speeches, mobilizing them to join the Orcs army. He appealed to their emotions and sense of justice, telling them about the cruelty and Evil of the Troggs and the heroic struggle of the great Orcs.

Although the Pandaren were filled with excitement and longed to rush into the Battlefield and slaughter the Troggs, their attachment to their land, their longing for their homeland, and their yearning for their loved ones still made them hesitate.

The mobilization meeting lasted all day. The mayor invited several respected Pandaren to take turns giving speeches to the eligible Pandaren. By the end of the day, the Pandaren present hadn't even had a sip of water; they were all thirsty and hungry.

As the sun was about to set, the mayor sent someone to deliver a sumptuous dinner.

The Pandaren devoured the food with gusto, consuming it all in a flash.

The mayor pulled out a registration book, blocked the only exit, and said with a smile, "Azeroth is facing a life-or-death crisis, and everyone needs to Consecration their share. All those brave enough to save the world, come here to register."

The Pandaren remained silent. Just then, a young Pandaren felt an urge to urinate, and as soon as he stood up, he heard the mayor shout:

"Very good, we have our first warrior. Come on, warrior, press your claw mark."

The Pandaren was too shy to argue, so he could only press his paw print down before quickly leaving the room and running towards the outhouse.

Before long, the Pandaren inside the house felt their stomachs churning violently and needed to relieve themselves. As a result, the mayor's roster was filled with countless paw prints, and he couldn't stop laughing.

This is the method Chen, Stormstout, secretly taught him: for every additional Pandaren paw print on the roster, the mayor can earn five to ten gold coins, depending on their size and build.

Of course, some Pandaren pressed their paw prints but refused to acknowledge the deal, stubbornly refusing to join the Orcs army.

In the days that followed, they struggled to survive amidst accusations of cowardice and desertion, suffering countless criticisms from the Pandaren. Their lives were miserable, and some even succumbed to their misery and took their own lives.

However, the Pandaren forgot that none of those Pandaren left their paw prints returned.

The use of gold coins is limitless; in less than half a month, the recruitment of 500,000 Pandaren was completed.

Five hundred thousand Pandaren, riding on ten Old Gods, arrived in Rag City with bewildered expressions.

They had no weapons, no armor, and were completely unarmed. After they had eaten all the rations they had brought, there was no more food available for them. They had traveled a long and bumpy road, and were starving, dizzy, and weak in the legs.

After finally reaching the shore, the first thing they saw was a group of heavily armed Orcs, carrying all sorts of terrifying weapons, staring at them with ferocious expressions.

An Orcs who looked like an officer stepped forward and pointed to the great city on the horizon, saying:

"Do you see the city before you? This is the Evil Rag City. Heed my command, Charge!"

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