Toad Comes Ashore

"Where is he?"

"Downstairs. Xiao Zhang's keeping an eye on him."

Director Wang leaned back in his chair.

"Tell me, then. Who did you bring back?"

Sing Sing opened the document envelope and handed over the file.

An ID photo was attached to the A4 sheet. It showed a flat nose, protruding lips, and eyes set farther apart than normal.

"Mortimer Toynbee, codename Toad."

"Born in Britain, later went to the United States."

"Magneto recruited him into the Brotherhood, where he worked for a few years. The Brotherhood disbanded after the Superhuman Registration Act came out, and he ended up on the streets."

"What about his ability?"

"His tongue."

"...What?"

Director Wang wondered if his hearing was going.

"His tongue. He can extend it about four meters. It's extremely sticky and powerful enough to wrap around an adult and throw them."

Silence fell over the office.

"Sing Sing!"

"Here!"

"You made a trip to the United States and spent twenty-three thousand seven hundred yuan of the state's money on travel expenses, not counting the hazard allowance..."

"Twenty-three thousand six hundred. I paid for those three McDonald's meals myself."

"Shut up! Interrupt me again and I'll break your neck with my Deadly Scissor Legs!"

I'll break your neck with my Deadly Scissor Legs!

Director Wang slammed his hand on the desk in anger.

"You spent the state's money and went all the way to New York just to bring back a guy who sticks out his tongue?"

Sing Sing straightened his back.

"Director, that just shows you don't know the field."

Director Wang lifted his eyes to look at him.

He had worked at the 749 Bureau for over thirty years, and now an agent who used to sell pork was telling him he didn't know the field?

Well!

That was a new experience!

"Let me break it down for you."

"First, Toad can precisely control the direction and force of his tongue. It's four meters long. Think about what that means."

"Working at heights, if someone on the scaffolding needs a wrench or a rivet, other people have to walk over and fetch it. He can stay right where he is and take care of it with his tongue."

"Second..."

Sing Sing raised a second finger.

"He can also jump incredibly high, at least nine meters straight up."

"Nine meters, Director! That's three stories!"

"On a construction site, when people need to get from one floor to another, they have to wait ages for the construction elevator. He just crouches down and jumps up there."

"That's it?"

"I'm not finished! His skin can secrete mucus."

"I had Da Vinci test it. Once it dries, it sticks better than eighty percent of the construction adhesives on the market."

"Think about it. If we can extract it on a mass scale, how much would that patent alone be worth?"

Director Wang picked up his thermos and put it down again.

"He's also resistant to toxins. All sorts of chemicals do very little damage to him."

"Chemical plant maintenance, work in toxic environments, construction in radiation zones—an ordinary person would need six months off after three months in one of those jobs."

"He can work nonstop, and we'd even save on protective suits."

At this point, Sing Sing pulled a cigarette from his pocket. He was about to light it when he saw Director Wang's furious glare. With an awkward chuckle, he put it back.

"Director, the mountain roads we're building in the southwest—the hardest part is construction along the cliffs."

"The workers hang in midair to install expansion bolts, and they can't get much done in a day."

"Safety ropes, insurance, and the working-at-heights allowance—it costs close to two thousand yuan a day for one worker!"

"Toad can lie against the cliff face and stick there securely. He can hold an electric drill with his tongue and get to work. He's worth five workers on his own."

"You brought him back from the United States just to make him lie against cliffs installing bolts?"

"That's called playing to his strengths and making the best use of his talents."

Sing Sing's expression was serious.

"How was he treated in the United States? People chased him down and beat him every day."

"Magneto treated him as cannon fodder, the X-Men treated him as a villain, and ordinary people treated him as a monster."

"I brought him back, signed him up for Six Insurances and Two Housing Funds, gave him free room and board, and promised him rice and cooking oil for the holidays!"

"Director, he didn't even have a bed in the United States. He slept in the sewers!"

Director Wang was silent for a while.

"How am I supposed to report this to the higher-ups? Tell them we recruited a high-end talent whose special skill is sticking out his tongue?"

"Don't just focus on the tongue!"

Sing Sing grew anxious.

"Look at his overall abilities: jumping, climbing, mucus secretion, and resistance to toxins."

"Put those four abilities together and he's an all-rounder in construction."

"And he can repair electrical circuits! He was in charge of electrical maintenance at the Brotherhood's base!"

"He can repair electrical circuits?"

"He has a United States electrician's license. I had him take the test. The registration fee cost me three hundred US dollars, and I included the receipt for that too."

Director Wang leafed through the receipts on his desk and, sure enough, found one from a vocational skills testing center.

"You little rascal, you really are..."

"Practical."

Sing Sing supplied the word for him.

"My greatest strength is that I'm practical. Director, let me take him to an infrastructure site in Yunnan-Guizhou and give him a try."

"If he doesn't work out, I'll bring him back. Worst comes to worst, I can put him to work watching my pork stall."

"You still have that pork stall?"

"Of course. That's my base."

Director Wang unscrewed his thermos and took a sip of goji berry water.

"There's a road construction project in Tiankeng Village, Guizhou. Three construction teams have gone in, and after two and a half years, they still haven't finished the road."

"The terrain is too complicated, full of karst caves and underground rivers. They can't get machinery in, so everything has to be done by hand. There was another cave-in last month, but fortunately no one was hurt."

Sing Sing's eyes lit up.

"I'll go through fire and water, Director!"

"Don't get excited too soon. I have two conditions."

"Go ahead."

"First, his identity can't be exposed. Tell outsiders he's a temporary worker recruited from another region, with a skin disease. Don't laugh, I'm serious."

"No problem. I'll buy him sun-protective clothing and wrap him up tight."

"His face doesn't quite meet mainstream beauty standards, but what haven't the folks in the countryside seen? Besides..."

Sing Sing lowered his voice.

"More than his face, what the locals care about is whether the road gets built."

"Second, if there's an accident, you take responsibility."

"All right."

Director Wang waved his hand.

"Go get it done. I'll talk to finance about the funding."

Sing Sing stood up and, for once, gave a proper salute.

In the first-floor corridor, Xiao Zhang was squatting at the foot of the wall, staring at Toad, who stared right back.

Toad's legs were bent at an extreme angle.

"Let's go."

Sing Sing patted Toad on the shoulder.

Mortimer Toynbee looked up, his yellow eyes shifting.

He spoke halting Chinese, which Sing Sing had forced him to learn on the plane.

During the fourteen-hour flight, he had memorized three hundred common words.

"Go... where?"

"Guizhou."

"Where is Guizhou?"

"It's a good place."

Sing Sing pushed him toward the stairs.

"Good mountains, good water, good people. The only thing that isn't so good is the roads, which is why they need you."

Toad didn't quite understand, but he was already used to following this Chinese man.

In New York, people had thrown rotten tomatoes at him and shouted at him to go back to hell.

At the time, he had been curled up in the sewer, starving for three days.

The mucus covering him had dried into a crust, and he had thought he would probably die there.

Then this man had crouched down and offered him a roujiamo.

He said his name was Stephen Chow, but Toad could also call him Sing Sing.

During the fourteen-hour flight, besides forcing him to memorize Chinese words, Sing Sing had taught him one other thing.

Follow behind him and go in the direction he was looking.

It was the first time anyone had spoken to him in a normal tone since Magneto kicked him out of the Brotherhood.

Not "you monster."

Not "get lost."

But "do you want a proper job?"

Toad followed Sing Sing out of the 749 Bureau building.

A van was parked outside. Sing Sing pulled open the door and glanced back at Toad.

"Get in."

"Then what?"

"Then you'll be a toad with a position on the official payroll."