Free Nuts Really Are Hard!
"Da da!"
The Slug scrambled and crawled, curling itself into a ball of flesh and burying itself under the chassis.
His lips trembled faster than a sewing machine, spouting a hodgepodge of Chinese and Western deities' titles.
"Damn it, may the Jade Emperor, Guanyin Bodhisattva Tathagata Buddha Jesus, God, Virgin Maria protect me!"
"I just paid the deposit and three months' rent last month, and that damned landlady didn't even install broadband! The internet is so slow I haven't even had a chance to look at the study materials I just downloaded! I can't die, I really can't die!"
Through the gap under the car, Slug looked desperately at Sing Sing was blocking the road.
It's over.
This butcher is going to die here today.
That's a heavy machine gun that can fire 800 rounds per minute!
Let alone a living person, even a solid block of iron would be riddled with holes by now.
But what about that gentleman?
Not only did he not dodge, but he even casually reached out and tugged at his crotch.
Old Zhou is currently fully absorbed in experiencing the charm of high technology.
This "Memory Nanofolding Suit" from Da Vinci is truly something special; the fabric is so smooth it feels like you're not wearing anything at all.
Especially the crotch design, which is well-ventilated and breathable, gives you an ultimate feeling of freedom and comfort, like running freely in an autumn field when a breeze blows.
This is the most expensive outfit he's ever worn in his life!
If he gets riddled with holes by those rude bastards, when he goes back to claim his injury, that tightwad Wang Pangzi will definitely use his Deadly Scissor Legs to crush his head on the spot.
"Ding! Ding ding!"
With a flick of his wrist, the Pig Butchering Knife in his hand deflected the incoming bullets one by one.
Through his sunglasses, he looked at the Raptor SUV speeding towards him.
He frantically pulled the trigger on the roof of the vehicle, and after emptying half a belt of ammunition, the machine gunner was stunned for two seconds. This was something a carbon-based life form could do.
After realizing what had happened, he retreated back into the car and pulled out a large-caliber heavy sniper rifle.
"Go to hell, you yellow-skinned monkey! You think you're a superhero just because you have a broken Pig Butchering Knife? Go to hell and chop your flesh into pieces!"
Old Zhou gripped the Pig Butchering Knife in his other hand and smiled slightly. "Ignorance is truly terrifying. This is called the Tian Shan Cold Iron Pig Butchering Knife, do you even know what that means?"
Old Zhou, who was originally shrewd and lazy, now stood ramrod straight.
A visible white aura enveloped the entire Pig Butchering Knife, spiraling upwards from the arm he held it.
A semi-transparent blade of light, more than three meters long, extended out, and the white aura around the blade surged.
"Break!"
With a roar, Sing Sing swung his sword down at the oncoming car.
There are no explosion effects or visual pollution; this is called Qi-Controlled Blade.
A sharp white line shot straight down from the sky and crashed into the roaring Raptor SUV.
With a hiss, the gun barrel broke in two, the cuts clean.
The gunman didn't even have time to utter a single word.
The entire car was cut in two by inertia, splitting into two halves right in the middle.
That's right, it's two halves in the physical sense.
Two and a half wheels on the left, and two and a half wheels on the right.
Everything is evenly divided in two, including the off-road spare tire hanging at the rear of the vehicle, the sturdy chassis beam, and even the unopened can of chilled cola on the center console.
The cross-section of the cola was as smooth as a mirror, so smooth that not even the bubbles had a chance to overflow.
The two halves of the car slid past Sing Sing's body on either side before crashing into the guardrails on both sides of the road and coming to a complete stop.
Sing Sing twirled the Pig Butchering Knife in his hand and then put it away.
He looked disdainfully at the engine oil on the toes of his shoes, then casually pulled a napkin from his pocket, bent down, and wiped it clean. "People these days have such terrible manners. Littering is one thing, but who's responsible for damaging the flowers and plants on the roadside?"
Turn around.
In the bushes on both sides of the road, the Jackal, the machine gunner, and the driver were sprawled out on their backs.
The car was cut open, but the three men didn't even break a skin.
Sing Sing's knife skills, like those of the Cook Ding Cuts Up an Ox, are truly impressive.
The blade's energy pierced into their bodies as it sliced through the car, damaging all three of their motor nerve centers.
The powerful internal energy directly impacted their brains, disrupting their logical thinking abilities.
In short.
These three battle-hardened top mercenaries have now suffered a significant drop in IQ and lost their normal thinking abilities.
Aside from his heart still beating a couple of times, he's practically a vegetable.
Sing Sing strolled over and squatted down in front of the Jackal leading the group.
This guy's limbs are limp, and drool is uncontrollably dripping from his mouth.
His eyes were fixed on the white clouds in the sky. "Aba... Aba aba..."
"Since you three have such poor environmental awareness, driving big-displacement cars and emitting exhaust fumes every day, you'd better stay here on this grassland from now on and make some contribution to greening nature."
He patted the Jackal's drooling face.
"Remember that, everyone. Make sure to get plenty of sunshine every day to do photosynthesis, absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen, so that next spring you can grow a big watermelon here. That way, your lives won't have been in vain."
"Hmm... but I suspect that old bastard Stryker will be taking you away soon?"
Sing Sing immediately noticed the mechanical watch on Jackal's wrist. It looked quite valuable, so he casually took it off and weighed it in his hand.
We didn't lose money; this thing can fetch a good price.
"Slug, stop chanting your scriptures! Buddha's off work long ago, hurry up and come out and clean the floor!"
Crawling out from under the car, Slug trembled as he looked at the Ford Raptor split in two, then at the three drooling mercenaries rolling their eyes.
"Zhou, Brother Zhou... what... what did you do to them?"
"Don't be so surprised. I just gave them some traditional painless acupuncture and physiotherapy, helping them enter a carefree, leisurely retirement life ahead of time. No need to thank me, I'm just a kind-hearted person."
Sing Sing opened the passenger door and got in. Even though his heart was aching, he forced himself to put on an expression that treated money like dirt and tossed the mechanical watch to Slug.
"Sell it at the market and use the money to get bulletproof glass replaced on this car. Next time you pick me up in this piece of junk that doesn't even have air conditioning, I'll cut you in half!"
Slug caught the watch, almost moved to tears. "Brother Zhou is so generous! Long live Brother Zhou! Where... where do we go now?"
"Let's drive around the area a couple more times to clear out the smell, lest Stryker's dogs follow us."
Sing Sing leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes to rest. "Since that old man Stryker has come to us willingly, if we don't teach him a lesson, he'll really think our 749 Bureau is a charity."
The van drove away from the scene, its exhaust pipe spewing black smoke.
Only three burly men, drooling, were left by the roadside, babbling away at the sun as they photosynthesized.