I'm a Scientist! Old Zhou: Got It, Hauling Bricks by Day and Drawing Plans by Night
"What recruitment? This is called international headhunting, you know that?!"
"Those companies like Stryker, which use you as experimental animals for dissection, are what you call a sweatshop—that's Blackheart, exploitative operation. Here, we're the main force of a great rejuvenation!"
Upon hearing this, Deadpool immediately moved closer.
He tucked two samurai swords under his armpits, rubbed his hands together through his tight-fitting clothes, and leaned forward with a sly grin.
"Headhunter, um, do you guys recruit mercenaries? How much do you get paid per kill? Is there a commission? Do you reimburse for bullets?"
"Chop you up, you big-headed devil!"
Sing Sing slapped away the red hood that was leaning towards him and cursed.
"We live in a society governed by the rule of law. Murder is a crime, you know? We're recruiting construction talent, model workers. We offer full Five Insurances and One Housing Fund benefits, weekends off, double pay at the end of the year, and even rice, flour, and cooking oil for holidays. Good performance can even lead to housing and a car, and we can help with your children's schooling!"
"You work yourself to the bone in United States, and you don't even have basic medical insurance. Stryker still owes you the final payment. Even if you break both swords in your entire life, will you ever be able to buy a house with a private bathroom in New York?"
Stunned by these words, Deadpool stood there dumbfounded.
He looked down at his patched-up, tight-fitting clothes, stained with dried ketchup from who-knows-when, and remembered the landlady's grumbling expression when she was demanding rent. A wave of sadness washed over him.
"No..."
Deadpool, his head drooping, muttered to himself, his fingers digging into the hilt of the knife.
"I don't even dare to go to a regular hospital for treatment. I can only find a blind old man at a shady clinic to stitch me up. Last time, that blind old man almost sewed the gauze into my stomach..."
"Wait a minute, I can heal myself, why would I go to the hospital?"
"Oh dear, what if? Aren't you afraid that your cells will stop growing one day?"
"Working with Stryker means you'll go hungry for three days straight, but once you sign a formal labor contract with our 749 Bureau, the government will cover all your medical expenses and hospitalizations, and the union will even bring you fruit baskets during holidays. That's what a normal life is all about!"
The Beast, unable to bear it any longer, roared, "Enough! I've heard too many lies from humans!"
"You only see Mutants as monsters, as weapons of war, and once you're done using them, you'll just throw us into concentration camps!"
"Fart!"
Sing Sing glared at him and retorted without hesitation.
"Weapons? What are weapons? A knife used to kill people is a weapon, but used to cut pork in the market is a production tool. You're being chased and used as expendable resources here every day because you haven't met the right people. Where we're from, there are no useless Mutants, only builders who haven't been placed in the right positions!"
"Words are no proof."
He reached into his pocket and casually pulled out his phone, ready to Sing Sing evidence.
"Today I'll show you two country bumpkins what a socialist iron rice bowl really is!"
He swiped his fingers across the screen a few times and tapped the WeChat, then went directly to the pinned "749 Bureau Overseas Talent Re-employment Assistance and Loving Hearts" group chat interface.
"Look closer!"
Sing Sing held up his phone between the two of them and gestured.
With a face full of curiosity, Deadpool craned his neck, while Beast, though wary, couldn't help but glance down.
The screen is refreshing with messages.
"Today on the south slope, we caught another blind bear that was stealing corn. These things are so fragile; I didn't even have to use my claws, and one over-the-shoulder throw and it peed its pants. Director Zhao said I deserve recognition for protecting wild animals, and he'll award me two cans of soybean oil and a box of towels as an outstanding individual at the end of the year!"
A user named "Peach Mountain Forest Ranger" sent a message; their profile picture was of a rugged, bearded man wearing a dog-skin hat.
"Uncle Logan is amazing! The veteran experts at my Space City are lining up outside the ice cream truck every day, urging me to work overtime. Their hands are practically cramping up!"
A ragdoll cat avatar named "Little Rich Girl from the Cold Drink Truck" quickly followed up with a reply.
"I just caught two huge black fish at the bottom of the underground river, they were really fat. Let's head to the food stalls tonight!"
The profile picture showed bubbles rising from the Deep Abyss of the abyss.
Deadpool stared at the image of the Peach Mountain Forest Ranger for a full three seconds, his eyes widening.
A strange scream then erupted in the corridor.
"Wardfak!"
With his hands covering his head, Deadpool jumped around in terror.
"Is that scruffy guy in the tattered hat Logan, the hot-tempered Wolverine who stabs everyone he sees?"
He grabbed Sing Sing's arm and shook it violently, shouting and yelling.
"He actually became a security guard! Director, this scene has to be cut, it's totally out of character!"
The Beast's large blue face was also filled with terror. "Is that Riptide? Is he still alive?"
While we were talking, a large red envelope popped up in the group chat.
The sender was named "Deadly Scissor Legs," and the red envelope's note said it was to celebrate a phased victory in the field work. Below it, a row of "Thank you, boss" replies popped up.
With lightning-fast reflexes, Sing Sing Chow tapped the screen with his thumb and opened the red envelope.
The screen notified me that I had successfully won 50 cents.
"Damn it, that stingy Wang Pangzi only gave out two yuan in a red envelope!"
Muttering curses as he put away his phone, Sing Sing curled his lip.
Deadpool had completely lost his mind, and with a thud, he grabbed Sing Sing's leg, rubbing his face against the suit trousers.
"Director Zhou, my dear brother, my godfather, take me with you! I've had enough of eating expired pizza every day and being harassed by the landlord for debts. Your cafeteria food looks pretty good, and you can even catch big black fish in the river!"
Looking up at him expectantly, Deadpool said, "Look at my build, what could I possibly do there? I don't ask for much, just a Mexico burrito with every meal. And the health insurance has to be the highest tier, since I'm always breaking arms and legs. Oh, and do you have paid annual leave?"
He shook his leg in disgust but couldn't shake it off, Sing Sing sighed.
"You'd be perfect as a tester for Da Vinci's new weapons. You'll grow back even if you're blown to bits, saving the department a huge amount on lab animal procurement."
Sing Sing looked Deadpool up and down, then stroked his chin.
"Or you could go to the neighborhood committee. With your talkativeness, you'd be a perfect match for mediating disputes among elderly women fighting over spots in the square. You wouldn't get annoyed even if they yelled at you, and you wouldn't bleed even if they hit you. You'd be a perfect fit for our grassroots mediation work!"
"Deal! I want to be the neighborhood committee director, I want to manage the old ladies!"
After fooling the red-skinned monster, Sing Sing turned to look at the Beast who was still questioning his existence.
He walked over and reached out to pinch the Beast's arm, which was thicker than a thigh, his face full of admiration.
"Tsk tsk tsk, buddy, look at those muscles, look at that chassis stability, it's a waste of your talent that you're not building high-speed rail in the Northwest!"
Feeling uncomfortable from being pinched, the Beast took a half step back.
"I... I'm a scientist, I have six PhDs, I'm not the kind of person who does manual labor!"
"Oh, having a high level of education is great! People with multiple skills are in even higher demand!"
Sing Sing smiled broadly, looking at him with persuasive eyes. "Carrying steel bars during the day, drawing blueprints at night, providing a one-stop service from labor to materials—our bureau desperately needs someone like you, a versatile expert who can do both academic and practical work!"