Even Alaska's Bears Have to Pass an Interview First
Sing Sing brushed the snow off his suit shoulder, straightened his hat, and held up two fingers to the brown bear.
"There are only two requirements for this job: First, you must be able to walk in a straight line; second, don't treat the supervisor as a meal on the way. If you understand, just nod; if you don't, I'll provide on-site training. Pre-job training is free, and lunch will be provided."
The brown bear propped itself up on its hind legs, its massive body standing upright, saliva dripping from the edges of its fangs.
It was much taller than Sing Sing, with thick brown fur on its chest covered in ice shards, and its forepaws were outstretched, with black, shiny claws as long as an adult's finger.
It looked down at the two-legged beast that was oblivious to its own mortality, and a roar rolled out from deep in its throat.
"Roar!"
Snowflakes fell softly from the pine branches.
Sing Sing raised his hand to cover his nose, and waved his other hand a few times in front of his face.
"Good heavens, that breath could kill a whole litter of snow hares from two miles away. Your teeth are practically covered in tartar, and you're still opening your mouth? There's no health insurance in Alaska, you can't just hide your condition and avoid getting medical help!"
The brown bear landed on all fours and charged straight at them.
"It seems your interview process includes a practical component."
"Come on, show the examiners your company's core competitiveness!"
As the brown bear swung its front paw down, Sing Sing lowered his body, slid under the paw, and pushed hard against the bear's belly with his palm.
The brown bear lost control of its momentum and its shoulder slammed directly into the metal ball's outer shell, which was halfway exposed above the snow.
With a loud crash, the metal shell rolled down the snow slope, breaking two small pine trees before finally getting stuck in a snow ditch.
The brown bear was also tripped by the metal shell and rolled into a snowdrift.
Sing Sing stood still and glanced down at the shoe.
A mud stain lay across the toe of his leather shoe, and the corner of his mouth immediately turned down.
You're finished!
"I just had my shoes waxed before I left; it cost 15 yuan. I haven't received the receipt yet!"
The sound of panting came from the snowdrift.
The brown bear shook its massive head, climbed out of the snow pit, shook off the ice shards on its head, and roared as it charged at Sing Sing again.
"Oh my, you've got quite a temper, trying to force me to demonstrate my core competitiveness, huh!"
Sing Sing took a half step back with his right leg, his black leather shoes compacting the snow. Just as the bear's paw was about to land on his face, his right leg sprang up.
"Great Strength Vajra Leg, here we come!"
The leather shoe slammed into the brown bear's thick belly, sending the massive creature flying backward and crashing into a snowdrift ten meters away, creating a dent.
The brown bear moved slowly, struggling to its feet. Its vision was unfocused, and instinct drove it to open its mouth wide.
"You haven't paid the tuition yet, so I'll add an extra lesson for you!"
Sing Sing strode forward and kicked out with both legs quickly.
"Great Strength Vajra Leg Technique 2: Vajra Stomp!"
"Third move, Dragon Subduing Leg!"
Three powerful kicks landed in quick succession, the force just right, enough to stun you without hurting your brain.
Sing Sing lifted his leg and stepped on the back of the brown bear's head, pressing the huge head further into the snow.
"Whether you're convinced or not, I'm a very democratic person. If you're not convinced, let's keep practicing. Consider it new employee onboarding training."
A rapid, guttural sound came from the snow as the brown bear pounded the ground with its two front paws.
Sing Sing moved his foot away, and the brown bear raised its head. Its face was covered in snow, and its fierce look disappeared. It shrank back and sat on the ground with its paws on its belly.
"That's right, a wise person knows when to yield."
"Why didn't you just say you could be a mount? You had to get a beating before you'd behave. These young bears these days, they haven't learned how to manage the workplace, they've learned how to increase their own strength first."
Sing Sing brushed the snow off his hands, walked to the side of the brown bear, and climbed onto its broad back.
"Let's go! Heading ahead, a five-star hotel with heating!"
He gripped the thick fur around the bear's neck, and the brown bear let out a low growl, slowly taking four steps as it trudged through the knee-deep snow.
The wind picked up, and although Sing Sing's suit had a temperature-regulating function, his head was aching from the cold wind.
"That red-skinned delivery guy is a real jerk!"
He sniffed and complained.
"That scoundrel Magneto, serves you right for having a long-distance relationship with Lao Deng at your age. I offered you a proper job with room and board, but you refused, and instead dumped me in this dump!"
"Red-eye flights, relocation allowances, extreme cold weather allowances, lost wages in the field, plus compensation for emotional distress from a bear attack... by any measure, this should be considered a work-related injury, right?"
He narrowed his eyes, as if he could already see Director Wang holding the expense report and sneering.
"If Wang Pangzi dares to withhold my subsidy, I'll bring you back to the station and shove you right into his office. You'll be in charge of blocking the door, and I'll make him sign the papers. With us combined, neither of us will get to leave work with dignity."
The brown bear, acting as the mount, trembled. It couldn't understand human speech, but it instinctively felt that this temporary job's career development plan was not healthy, so it silently quickened its pace, wishing it could end the probationary period immediately.
After walking for an unknown amount of time, when the inside of Sing Sing's thighs felt numb from the rubbing of the bear fur, the tip of his nose suddenly twitched.
In this wilderness, the smell of pine and bears mingled with the smoke from burning firewood.
He squinted and looked ahead. Below the snow slope, a wooden house could be vaguely seen, with grayish-white smoke billowing from its chimney.
"Wow, there's always a way out!"
Sing Sing straightened his back immediately.
"In this freezing weather, even if you're a hunter living in the wilderness, you should at least have a pot of hot soup, right? If not, a bowl of hot water for instant noodles would be fine too."
Sing Sing Chow slapped the bear on the back.
"Giddy up, hurry up or the soup will get cold!"
The brown bear ran forward a few steps, then stopped at the edge of the snow slope. It growled, pawed at the snow with its front paws, and retreated.
"What, are you going to go on strike now that we've gotten this far?"
He reached out and grabbed the bear's ear, but the brown bear did not submit as before, and desperately tilted its head back.
"So, a tough guy lives down there, huh? Look how scared you are."
He didn't force the Beast; he nimbly rolled over and landed on his feet.
"Alright, your probation period isn't over yet, you can get lost. Remember to be polite and courteous when you go out in the future, and don't pounce on people like that. Not everyone is as easy to talk to as Director Zhou, who even throws in a free set of bone-setting massage."
The brown bear quickly turned around, ran at full speed, and disappeared into the pine forest, its speed far exceeding its previous pace.
"Hey, even discarding a used tool isn't as fast as you running away."
Sing Sing straightened his suit, brushed off the snow, and trudged towards the wooden house, his steps uneven.
The wooden house looked old, built of logs, with windows boarded up from the inside, letting in only a faint light.
There were no roads or tire tracks around, making it feel extremely isolated.
Is anyone home?
Sing Sing walked to the door and knocked on the wooden door three times.
"The community is bringing warmth! Hey folks, open the door! The water meter reader is here!"
There was no response from inside, but he keenly caught a slight scraping sound.
With a slight sound, the wooden door opened a narrow crack, and a gun barrel protruded from the crack, pressed against Sing Sing's chest.
A mechanical sound rang out.
The double-barreled shotgun was already loaded.