You Used My Money to Order Ace of Spades?

"Alright, stop being so sentimental. You're acting like you're going to go crazy in the snow in Tiny Times."

Sing Sing interrupted Darwin's internal monologue about capitalists.

He himself understood that this attempt to get something for nothing was somewhat unethical, but moral principles are like water in a sponge—they can always be squeezed out if you push hard enough.

"Hurry up and pack up, we need to get out of here before these bastards from Silver Peak realize what's happening."

"Run away? Tell me how? Spread wings and fly away?!"

The Ape-Man scratched the back of his head. "I know a way."

He pointed to the howling snow outside the cave entrance. "Follow the direction the wind is blowing, cross two snow-capped mountains, and pass through a thorny forest, and you'll see many, many hairless people like you."

Darwin was immediately displeased upon hearing this:

"Climb two snow-capped mountains? On foot?! I'm not going! I'd rather freeze into an icicle here than engage in extreme survival with you! I'm not going to die anyway! You guys can go die!"

Half an hour later.

On the vast snow-covered plain, three figures struggled to move against the white wind, demonstrating through their actions what it means to be truly virtuous.

Leading the way was the Ape-Man, striding as if walking on flat ground.

In the middle is Sing Sing, his suit is equipped with a temperature-regulating system, but the physical impact of the wind blowing on his face still makes him shrink back.

Darwin, walking at the very back, had evolved a thick layer of fat over most of his body, making him look like a walking Michelin Man. He was muttering curses, spewing out a long string of swear words in white mist.

"Stop complaining! Just think of it as a company-organized winter outdoor team building activity! It's good for your health and willpower; where else can you find this kind of benefit?"

"I'm looking for your grandpa..." Darwin's voice was mercilessly drowned out by the raging wind.

The three of them trekked through the snow for nearly two days.

Finally, the outline of a row of houses appeared on the horizon, and icy asphalt roads could even be seen along the roadside.

Upon reaching the edge of the town, Sing Sing's cell phone began vibrating incessantly in his pocket.

We have a signal!

Old Zhou hurriedly pulled out his phone, and upon closer inspection, found it was full of missed calls and text messages.

He ignored the "reminder of business trip progress report" sent by Director Wang and directly dialed a familiar number.

Slug.

He was kidnapped by Magneto, and all his money was left in the passenger seat of the pickup truck!

There was also a stack of US dollars he pulled out of Deadpool's crotch!

The phone rang for a long time before it was finally answered.

"Hello?"

The phone blared deafening electronic DJ music, accompanied by the faint sounds of a woman's giggles and the clinking of glasses.

Sing Sing held his phone further away and yelled at the top of his lungs, "You Slug! Where have you been?! Where's my money?!"

There was a two-second silence on the other end, followed by a burst of maniacal laughter.

"Oh my god, Director Zhou! You're still alive? I thought you were already shark food at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean by now!"

"Stop talking nonsense!" Sing Sing roared, furious. "Where are you right now? What's with this background noise?!"

I'm in Las Vegas!

Slug- nosed shouted at the top of his lungs, "Brother Zhou, I'll spend the money you left in that car for you! Don't worry, I'm a man of principle. I booked this booth tonight under the guise of celebrating your seventh day after death!"

A sweet, coquettish female voice came from the background. "Brother Chong, open another bottle of Ace of Spades, please?"

"Open! Open it now! Tonight's entire bill will be paid by Young Master Zhou on his seventh day after death!"

Sing Sing's vision went black as he suffered an angina attack. Clutching his chest, he leaned against a nearby telephone pole, panting heavily.

What a tragedy!

He used his business trip funds and Deadpool's savings to go to a nightclub and order the Ace of Spades?!

That bastard even used his money to pick up girls!

"You just wait!"

Sing Sing gritted his teeth, his eyes turning red. "You better pray I don't catch you! Otherwise, I'll stuff you into a meat grinder and make you into a pissing beef ball!"

"Beep beep beep..." The other end of the line hung up immediately.

"What's wrong?" Darwin leaned closer, looking at Sing Sing's murderous expression. "Did your wife find out you had a stash of money while checking up on you?"

"Much worse than that."

Sing Sing took two deep breaths to calm his blood pressure, then turned to look at the Ape-Man next to him who was curiously staring at the lamppost and sniffing it.

There aren't many people in this town, but cars do occasionally pass through.

With its black fur and imposing physique, the Ape-Man could cause a chain of car accidents and call the police throughout the town if he walked down the street.

"Brother Monkey, stay in the bushes and don't move."

Sing Sing rushed into a secondhand general store on the side of the road in the small town.

Less than five minutes later, he came running out carrying a bunch of colorful things.

"Come on, put it on."

The Ape-Man took the thing and rummaged through his body for a long time.

This is an oversized floral print bed sheet with two holes cut out in the middle by Sing Sing.

It was put on his head, completely covering his black fur, leaving only two big, blinking eyes visible.

"What kind of disguise is this?" Darwin covered his face. "Isn't this just a pervert draped in a floral bedsheet? He'll be even more conspicuous on the street!"

"You don't know anything! This is called adapting to local customs and traditions of ethnic minorities."

Sing Sing patted the Ape-Man on the shoulder, "As long as he doesn't speak, if anyone asks, I'll just say he's my distant cousin who has severe atavistic hypertrichosis."

Sing Sing rubbed his hands together, leaned closer to Darwin, and plastered a fawning smile on his face, "Little Darwin, look at our situation right now, there isn't even a decent car rental shop in town. Do you have any... means of transportation to Los Angeles? Like, something like growing longer legs or a propeller?"

"Los Angeles?!" He took a step back three meters.

"When did I ever say I was going to Los Angeles with you?!"

"I don't care who you're messing with or digging for dinosaur eggs! That's none of my business! I didn't sign your Blackheart contract, and I'm not your employee!"

Darwin pointed to his own nose, trembling with rage, "I just want to be a quiet popsicle in Alaska! Get the hell out of here!"

Seeing that this man was about to strike, Sing Sing rushed forward and grabbed Darwin's hand, his face full of sincerity and heartache.

"Brother! Brother Da! Grandpa Da!" Sing Sing forced out two crocodile tears. "Please help me! Look at me, I have elderly parents and young children to support. If I don't meet my KPI this time, Wang Pangzi will definitely sacrifice me when we get back!"

Don't worry!

Sing Sing raised three fingers to the sky and swore, "As long as you get us to Los Angeles, once we land, we'll go our separate ways! I won't stop you! I'll even personally pay for your first-class ticket back to Alaska!"

Darwin stared at him suspiciously. "Really? No hard selling?"

"More real than pearls! My Sing Sing's, is as good as nails!"

Darwin gritted his teeth and hesitated for a full minute, glancing at the Ape-Man next to him who was draped in a big floral bed sheet and grinning foolishly, and then at Sing Sing's shameless, stalker-like appearance.

"This is the last time! Once we get to Los Angeles, you go your way, and I'll go back to my Alaska!"