Yan Shuangying Toys with Little Deadpool
Sing Sing spat out the snow shards from his mouth, his eyelashes still covered in ice.
[Current coordinates: Mount Fuji, altitude 3776 meters]
Deadpool's belt screen flashed blue text, along with a thoughtful snowflake icon.
Deadpool's masked eyes lit up with excitement. "The system shows this is the highest point in Japan, Mount Fuji! A perfect tourist destination! Check-in, hot springs, Mount Fuji ice cream, all in one!"
Sing Sing pounced on Deadpool, grabbing his collar and slamming his fists against the ground.
"Damn it! You teleported me to the Mount Fuji?! I have to memorize Japanese texts for my Class 3-D morning reading session tomorrow!"
Deadpool cried out in a pitiful voice, "Let go of me! You've practically turned my brains into a matcha milkshake!"
"I'm shaking the matcha in your head!"
Sing Sing gritted his teeth, ready to punch someone in the face.
Deadpool quickly rolled over, then crouched down, covering his head, and curled up into a red and black mushroom.
"Spare me! I've suffered enough! Mueller's connection is completely severed; he was burned to ashes by Silver Peak's own people!"
"What did you say? Where's the evidence?"
"There's no evidence. Actually, I first went to Earth-616 to have someone fix my belt. Then I easily teleported into Silver Peak's building in New York."
Deadpool stood up as he spoke, took out his phone, and handed it to Sing Sing.
Sing Sing took the phone with some skepticism and opened it.
It contains a surveillance video.
In the video, Agent Zero personally executes Mueller.
Sing Sing was unsure whether this guy was the original or a clone.
Silver Peak's annihilation was swift, ruthless, and clean...
Sing Sing Chow slapped Deadpool on the back of the head, "What's going on? What are you doing in Japan?"
Deadpool, clutching his head, his mask and eyes drooping, said, "I found a secret address in New Mexico. I just kicked the door open, and there was a man in sunglasses and a leather coat sitting inside."
"Sunglasses covered half his face, and his leather coat collar was turned up even more pretentious than mine. He held a revolver in his hand, the barrel gleaming as if it had just been waxed."
Sing Sing squinted.
This outfit... it sounds so familiar...
"He made a move?"
"He started by reasoning with me." Deadpool sniffed, his voice suddenly lowering as he mimicked the situation with utmost seriousness. "He pointed at me with his revolver and asked, 'How can someone like you change?'"
Sing Sing's eyelids twitched. "And then?"
"I had barely opened my mouth when he smashed my nose with the butt of his rifle!"
Deadpool pointed to his mask, his voice filled with grief and indignation, "Holy crap! My new nose job! That guy actually pointed a revolver at my head and made me gamble on whether there were any bullets in it!"
Sing Sing had only one thought in his mind: How did these two end up together?
Three days ago, in New Mexico.
Deadpool kicked open the warehouse door and raised his golden Desert Eagle.
"Silver Peak gets off work pretty early, huh? Everyone else has left, leaving you to guard three broken chairs and a chipped coffee machine?"
The man was wearing a black leather overcoat, his left hand on the table, and his right hand fiddling with a silver dollar.
You've mistaken me for someone else.
"That's what everyone in Silver Peak says. The last one claimed to be delivering bottled water, but it turned out the bottle contained two anti-personnel mines."
Deadpool walked into the room, slammed the door shut with his heel, and moved the gun along the man's forehead.
"Tell me where Mueller is, and I can just break your legs and hang you outside the United States Consumers Association, citing poor after-sales service as the reason."
Yan Shuangying looked down at the muzzle of the gun, then rolled the silver dollar in his hand along the back of his hand, moving it to his index finger knuckle.
I bet your gun is empty.
"Huh?" Deadpool's eyes widened behind his mask.
"That kind of outdated psychological warfare won't work on me. I've received professional training, and I even watched a twelve-minute crash course on interrogation online, graduating with a score of sixty-six!"
Deadpool pulls the trigger.
"Click..."
The Golden Desert Eagle stalled immediately.
Deadpool turned the gun to the side, ejected the magazine, and neatly packed the bullets inside, the top one even engraved with Wade's love for Vanessa.
"What's going on? Is it a quality issue?"
He pushed the magazine back in, pulled the slide, and aimed again at the motionless man in front of him.
"Friendly reminder: the Desert Eagle's recoil will ruin your hairstyle, but your hairstyle isn't exactly salvageable anyway."
Your gun is empty.
"The author will be fined if the lines are repeated."
"Click."
The third strange tale of Yan Shuangying's rules: When you point a gun at Yan Shuangying's head, there are no bullets in your gun.
Deadpool stared at the magazine for two seconds, then tucked the muzzle under his mask and pressed it against his temple.
"Did you secretly install facial recognition on my gun? That's unreasonable."
Yan Shuangying tapped the table with the silver dollar.
I advise you not to try it.
Are you scared?
I'm afraid you'll make the floor dirty.
Deadpool pulls the trigger.
"Bang!"
Gunfire pierced through the mask, half of the head, still attached to the red and black fabric, was flipped to the side, and the person flipped over in a chair and crashed into the wall.
I bet your gun is unloaded.
The bullet casing fell into the coffee cup and spun around at the bottom a few times.
Yan Shuangying picked up his cup and poured the spent cartridge case onto the table. "I warned you."
Deadpool slumped against the wall, his broken skull growing back, his right eye now just a smoking hole, his left eye still staring at the golden Desert Eagle lying on the ground.
"This doesn't make sense! The gun is malfunctioning against you, so how come it's been working full hours against me and even voluntarily completed its headshot quota?"
Because your eyes can deceive you.
"Come on! I only have one eye left! It's already under enough pressure! If you keep spreading rumors, I'll file a complaint with the Disability Protection Association!"
Yan Shuangying launched the ocean into the air.
Deadpool raised his gun and fired.
Gunshots rang out, the ocean tumbled halfway through the air, the bullet grazed the silver edge, and pierced the wooden plank behind the man.
But the seats were empty.
Deadpool, gun in hand, turned to the left, a black leather coat swept past on his right, and a hand pressed the gun barrel to the ground.
"You're too slow."
"Who's slow? I just hadn't finished downloading the brain tissue yet. Wait until I finish installing the patch!"
Deadpool drew his twin swords and slashed at his wrist, Blades had barely left his shoulder when the other man's left hand gripped his elbow.
The other knife was only half-drawn when the butt of Yan Shuangying's gun struck his nose.
Click.
Deadpool crashed into a chair, his nose collapsing into his mask, and his twin swords flew off his hands and onto the table.
The Thirteenth Strange Tale of Yan Shuangying's Rules: When you fight Yan Shuangying with cold weapons, his attack speed is twice that of you.
"Stop!"
Deadpool covered his nose and got up, raising his other hand high above his head.
"I demand an inspection of your latency! My attack animation was only 50% loaded when I launched my attack, how come it's already finished playing?"
"Shall we continue?"
"Of course I'll fight. I'm just requesting a pause. By the way, what kind of insurance does Silver Peak provide for field operations? Is the bridge of the nose considered a consumable part?"
"I have no connection with Silver Peak."
"So you stayed in Silver Peak's secret warehouse in the middle of the night, dressed as an underground godfather who just stepped out of a black-and-white TV, and even gave me free plastic surgery with a gun butt?"
I'm waiting for someone.
"Waiting for whom?"
"Waiting for an idiot in red."