If I'm Crazy Enough, the Villain Won't Know What Hit Him
The next day, the loudspeakers at Toyo High School blared on time:
"Hoshino Seiichi, a transfer student from Class 3-D, bravely stepped forward to rescue a classmate during yesterday's accident at the auditorium facilities, disregarding his own safety and preventing a serious injury."
"After deliberation by the Principal's Office, it has been decided to award Hoshino Seiichi the honorary title of 'Outstanding Student for Courageous Acts,' and to award him a certificate of honor and a scholarship of 100,000 yen."
The broadcast was simultaneously played over the entire school's public address system.
Sing Sing lay on the hospital bed, pricked up his ears, listened carefully to the last sentence of the broadcast, and then sighed.
"Only 100,000? Are you trying to fetch a beggar? These little pearls aren't even enough for me to buy half a buttock tip at the market!"
Ichirai Hisako sat beside him, watching his pathetic state, and silently handed him a bucket of chicken wings.
"Can't you be a little more professional when you're like this?" she said with some disdain. "Eating chicken wings? Don't you find them greasy first thing in the morning?"
Sing Sing chuckled, snatched the bucket of chicken wings, ignoring the fact that his right hand had just been wrapped up like a steamed bun by the school doctor.
"Hisako-chan, you're such an amateur."
Old Zhou grabbed a chicken wing with his uninjured left hand, took a big sip, and exclaimed, "So delicious!"
"I don't have any other hobbies, but I love eating chicken wings the most. I've always been too embarrassed to eat them freely in order to maintain my cool image at the top of Toyo High Schools. Now the time and place are perfect, it's like a godsend!"
Just then, the door to the ward was pushed open.
Tennoji Hiroshi walked in, a gold-embossed certificate of honor tucked under his arm and a white envelope in his hand.
The old man had prepared a whole host of caring and comforting words.
But when he saw the scene on the hospital bed, his usually amiable face began to falter.
The brave young man who was "seriously injured and nearly lost his life to save his classmate" was leaning against his pillow, his mouth dripping with oil.
The old man's mind was racing.
Just who is this kid?
Is it really someone from the 749 Bureau?
But what country's elite agents would be in such a state, like a reincarnated starving ghost?
"Hoshino," Tennoji Hiroshi's smile vanished, "Aren't you... badly injured?"
After saying that, he gave Ichirai Hisako a cold look.
Hisako-chan's heart skipped a beat.
It's over!
She jumped up in a panic and stood in front of the hospital bed.
"The principal!" she stammered, starting to make things up, "He... he's really very sick! Yesterday, he suffered severe internal injuries while trying to save me! The doctor said he has fractures all over his body, and his condition is extremely dangerous!"
Tennoji Hiroshi wasn't buying it at all.
He pointed to the half-eaten bone in Sing Sing's hand, his tone wistful.
"So sick? How can he still have an appetite for chicken wings? Judging by the force he's chewing, he could even crush the bones."
Ichirai Hisako was never good at lying, and when the principal cornered her like that, her brain went completely blank.
This logic doesn't make sense!
Who has a critically ill person in their family who can eat half a bucket of family-sized beer in one sitting?
She turned to Sing Sing Chow with a pleading look, as if to say, "You've created this mess, so you should explain it yourself!"
Sing Sing Chow, on the other hand, calmly threw the bone into the trash can and wiped the grease off his mouth.
Tennoji Hiroshi stared at him, trying to detect any panic in the boy's eyes.
As soon as the other party shows any weakness, he will call the medical team to forcibly draw blood for testing.
Send this destabilizing element of the sabotage plan into the underground laboratory!
"Uh... Principal, the reason is very simple, because..." Sing Sing cleared his throat, opened his mouth, and began to sing in a drawn-out tone.
"Braised chicken wings, my favorite!"
Ichirai Hisako was equally bewildered; what kind of operation was this?
Why did they suddenly start singing?
And it's this kind of unknown folk tune!
Tennoji Hiroshi was also dumbfounded.
The melody is quite strange, yet the rhythm is frighteningly strong.
The old man's mind was completely captivated by the melodious tune.
Following the other person's line of thought, he instinctively retorted in the same eerie tone, "But your classmate said you're about to ascend to heaven ↗--"
Braised chicken wings, my favorite!
After singing that line, even the Tennoji Hiroshi felt like slapping himself in the face.
I, a dignified educator, am a schemer!
What am I even singing along with him for?!
But the atmosphere had already been built up to this point.
Sing Sing reached out and poked Ichirai Hisako, making exaggerated facial expressions.
Hurry up and finish it!
Ichirai Hisako, who was already petrified, was overcome by his impact, and her will to survive prevailed over her reason.
To cover for this unreliable teammate, she had no choice but to bite the bullet and join in.
She closed her eyes and, with a death wish, strained to keep up with the rhythm.
"The sooner you ascend to heaven, the more you should eat! If you don't eat now, you won't have the chance to eat again!"
"Are you really about to ascend to heaven?" the old man sang, his veins bulging.
Sing Sing clutched his chest, his expression a mixture of pain and deep emotion. "I'm really about to ascend to heaven!"
Tennoji Hiroshi felt his blood pressure soaring wildly; he even began to wonder if he hadn't slept well the night before and was still dreaming.
Before he could react, Sing Sing and Ichirai Hisako approached him, and under the arrangement of some mysterious force, the three of them miraculously merged into a three-part chorus.
"If you don't eat it now, you won't have another chance to eat it later!"
Several nurses and students passing by outside stopped and looked at each other in bewilderment.
Are they performing a ritual to pray for the deceased inside?
Is this school's atmosphere starting to resemble that of a cult?
Tennoji Hiroshi clutched his chest; in all his life, he had never felt anything so absurd!
He didn't know if this kid was an undercover agent, but he was certain that the kid was seriously mentally ill!
Sing Sing Chow snatched the white envelope from the old man's hand.
"Leave the envelope, Principal. You can go back to your office now."
Sing Sing pointed outside the door and then grabbed a piece of chicken breast and started eating it.
He mumbled indistinctly while chewing, "Remember to close the door when you leave. It's a bit windy, and it's making this person who's about to ascend to heaven's bones ache."
Tennoji Hiroshi turned and left without hesitation. If he stayed any longer, he was afraid he would also be tempted to order a family bucket meal.
This eccentric lunatic, who acted completely unpredictably, utterly disrupted all his rhetoric and probing plans.
The sound of footsteps in the corridor faded away completely once the ward door closed again.
Ichirai Hisako's legs went weak, and she sat on the edge of the bed, covering her face with her hands.
"What did I just do? I actually sang that kind of song with you?" She pounded the bed, tears welling up in her eyes.
"My image is completely ruined! Tomorrow the whole school will be saying I'm a lunatic!"
Sing Sing waved his hand dismissively.
He carefully wiped each finger clean with a tissue before eagerly picking up the white envelope from the table.
"What's the value of reputation? Practical benefits are what really matter!"
He pinched the edge of the envelope between his fingers and flicked it skillfully.
"I'll find a chance to leave tonight and go underground again. Remember to cover for me."