Sing Sing's Juicer Plan

Sing Sing slapped Daken on the back of the head, revealing the benevolent smile that capitalists usually wear before they extract surplus value.

"What are you doing! This is a precious gem that the bureau just imported from across the ocean!"

"How can you compensate me for even breaking a single hair on your head? Even selling you to work in coal mines in Africa wouldn't be enough!"

As he spoke, he pulled out his Longneck, which had been huddled in the corner as if it wanted to disappear, and pushed it into Daken.

"Come on, everyone, let's get to know each other. This is your senior Daken, and the one next to him is Ichirai Hisako Ichiki. From now on, we're all brothers in arms!"

Beside her, Petra crossed her arms and looked the two "senior students" up and down, their eyes sunken and clearly showing signs of sleep deprivation.

"Director Zhou, are you sure?"

She pointed at Daken's face, which was etched with clear-eyed stupidity, her tone full of doubt.

"These two kids look younger than me. Isn't it illegal to employ child labor here?"

"Oh! Don't be so kind! You can't judge a book by its cover. These two are quite remarkable!"

"The three of you are officially on the job today. Spend the time with them experiencing the profound and extensive traditional China culture."

Let's help each other and make progress together!

Sing Sing then made a fake cheering gesture.

Ichirai Hisako was a straightforward person; she stood up and gave the three of them a perfect 90-degree bow.

The semi-transparent demon-face armor on his back flickered, nearly scaring the maggots on Jiafeite's shoulder off.

Daken stepped forward and grabbed the unusually Longneck neck, forcing out a hideous grin that looked even worse than constipation.

"Right, right! Let's help each other out! Come on, guys, today your senior will guide you through a proper study of Li Bai's poems..."

Longneck turned pale with fright and was half-forced and half-dragged toward the execution ground piled with poetry collections.

Jiafeite and Petra, who were equally bewildered, exchanged glances and finally had no choice but to bite the bullet and follow.

When you're under someone's roof, you have to bow your head...

This child doesn't seem like a good person at all.

With everything arranged and feeling satisfied, Director Zhou strolled back to his office.

He grabbed the teapot and gulped down a large mouthful through the spout.

Now that the people are back, the real problem is how to arrange things for them. These three precious treasures must be placed in the most lucrative locations.

Sing Sing took out a ballpoint pen, opened his notebook, and began to ponder deeply.

The first one Jiafeite.

Eating garbage and converting it into energy—isn't that just a human-shaped, self-propelled environmental shredder and generator?

Go to the sanitation department to sweep the streets and collect recyclables?

That's an absolute waste of talent!

Sing Sing was chewing on his pen, pondering something, when suddenly his eyes lit up.

A nuclear power plant!

How complicated is it to dispose of nuclear waste?

It's expensive, laborious, and dangerous.

What if we just packaged Jia Yueting up and threw him into a nuclear waste pool, letting him do whatever he wanted?

This not only solves a national-level environmental problem, but who knows, after it's had its fill, it might even transform into a generator on the spot and connect to the grid to generate electricity!

This is an incredibly profitable business!

"Is Xiao Jia's physique... strong enough to withstand nuclear radiation?"

Sing Sing lit a cigarette and puffed out smoke.

On second thought, this thing can even eat the old sludge from New York's sewers like it's a Manchu Han Imperial Feast, and those two maggots can digest all sorts of radioactive waste, so what's a little bit of nuclear radiation!

Consider it an extra seafood treat for him!

At worst, after the basic physical examination, we can send the patient to Jiang Si's office for a comprehensive physical examination.

Unless they grow a third leg, they will be sent directly to Daya Bay after the training ends.

Every year, the country spends tens of billions of yuan just on dealing with these special wastes. Now, things are much better; they can be solved simply by providing food.

Why not do something better with the money saved?

Wang Pangzi has to squeeze out a little money to arrange a car for Director Zhou!

Sing Sing took a satisfying puff of his cigarette and wrote down Petra's name.

This girl's abilities are also very practical.

Manipulating geology to dig tunnels and build houses out of thin air—this is the ultimate cheat code that infrastructure maniacs need most!

Isn't she Deep Abyss's old flame?

Deep Abyss is currently soaking in the muddy waters of the Yellow River floodplain in Zhengzhou, inspecting the underground river for the South-to-North Water Diversion Project.

Or should we just airdrop Petra there?

These two, one controlling the water and the other digging the soil, are a perfect couple, a golden duo, in water conservancy engineering!

When the time comes to dig the riverbed and build the dam, Petra can simply wave her hand, Avalanche, saving you the money for excavators and tunnel boring machines!

Sing Sing thought about it and it seemed more and more plausible. This move would bring the country a super-powerful blue cat!

With this girl joining the team, the progress of projects like mountain tunnels and sea-crossing bridges will definitely take off.

If I could get a 0.1% commission on the saved labor and material costs...

That would be so awesome!

Finally, there's the Longneck.

Sing Sing stared at his name, sighed, and took another puff of his cigarette.

This kid's abilities are truly lackluster.

What can you do with a long neck?

Did they pretend to be Longneck at the zoo to scam admission?

That's an insult!

Go become a reconnaissance soldier?

The target is too big; it can be used as a live target by snipers from 800 miles away.

Now that Anton has gone to the finance department, should we leave the Longneck with him for a few days and then send it to the archives?

No, what if he gets assimilated by Anton?

One Anton is already a struggle, another one would really kill him.

Moreover, this kid is too soft-hearted; he'll definitely suffer a great loss if he goes to the front lines.

But he possesses a certain vulnerable quality that makes people feel sorry for him, the kind of person you'd feel even a dog would want to bully if he walked down the street...

"Smack!"

Sing Sing slammed his hand on the table.

Yes!

The job market in big cities has become so segmented; isn't this a natural talent pool for new hires?

In the future, whenever the bureau goes overseas to recruit those cowardly Mutants who are used to being beaten up by society, just have Longneck receive them!

The newcomers arrived in a new environment, filled with trepidation, thinking that they would be taken to be dissected and studied once they arrived in the mysterious East.

When he looked up, he found that the person who greeted him was a coward with a long neck, a soft voice, and who looked even weaker than himself!

Wouldn't that cause a huge collapse of their psychological defenses on the spot?

Longneck could easily be responsible for explaining the onboarding process to new employees, talking about the benefits and compensation within the department, and sharing his own personal experiences.

"Look, even though I'm such a useless person, the bureau didn't look down on me and still pays my Five Insurances and One Housing Fund!"

If the Longneck had used this rhetoric back then, the effect would have been absolutely phenomenal!

This kind of personal testimony is a million times more effective than Director Zhou's endless empty promises!

It's settled then!

Longneck stayed in the bureau as an administrative staff member, specifically responsible for new employee onboarding training and psychological counseling.

Hey, that's what you call making the best use of people!

Just by standing in the lobby, pouring someone a glass of water and smiling obsequiously, that harmless, timid guy must save the bureau so much money on psychological counseling each year!

With a flourish of his pen, Sing Sing quickly wrote down the three people's preferred job assignments on the paper.

Looking at this near-perfect plan, Old Zhou clicked his tongue in satisfaction.

There are no useless superpowers in this world, only HR managers who are brain-dead and can't assign jobs!

This is called individualized instruction, squeezing every last drop of potential...

No, I mean, treat the symptoms!