You Stole My Huazi? Deadpool, Get Back Here!
There was a problem with yesterday's chapters. I don't know why, but out of three chapters posted, the last two were published, but the first one wasn't. Sigh...
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The wind on the first day of the Lunar New Year carried the smell of firecrackers.
Sing Sing, wrapped in a military overcoat, slumped in a wicker chair in the courtyard, the thermos in his hand emitting the aroma of jasmine tea.
Right now, he had several large bills in his pocket that he had won from A Le while playing mahjong last night, and he was feeling incredibly pleased with himself.
Last night, the Spring Festival Gala went on until late into the night. Those Awakened and agents drank so much that a bunch of them ended up lying under the table. He was quick to slip away, thus avoiding the ordeal of being so drunk he couldn't get up the next day.
"Clang!"
The courtyard gate was kicked so hard it shook.
Sing Sing's hand trembled, and the thermos almost fell on himself.
Looking up, I saw Polaris wearing a padded jacket, carrying two free-range chickens that were flapping their legs wildly.
Upon closer inspection, the chicken feet still had plastic tags tied to Geggebu, clearly indicating that the chickens had just been taken from Ankang Chicken Farm.
Behind her followed Soft Serve. The little girl was wrapped in a fluffy cotton-padded coat, wore earmuffs, and held a lunchbox with the Jiuquan Space City logo on it.
"Hey Zhou, stop paralyzing yourself."
Lorna threw the two chickens to the ground. The chickens flapped their wings and flew half a meter high, but Lorna controlled the surrounding iron objects to bind their claws and press them to the ground to kick their legs.
"Make me and Xiao Ruan a stewed chicken in a clay pot, with cornbread on top, and lots of chili."
"Oh my dear young lady, it's Lunar New Year's Day today! Even the cafeteria chefs have gone home with their New Year's goods to be with their grandchildren!"
Sing Sing put his thermos on the small table and started joking, "How about I get you two two cups of instant noodles? And two sausages too?"
Polaris raised an eyebrow, and a green light flashed at his fingertips.
Before Sing Sing could figure out what she was up to, he discovered that his secret stash of money, which he had hidden under the bed and locked with three locks, was smashed out of the window with a "bang" and hung in mid-air, swaying back and forth.
The lid clicked open by itself, and the coins inside clattered and fell to the ground.
"Oh? A holiday?"
Polaris twirled a one-yuan coin he'd pulled from his tin box. "I'll count to three. If you don't wear an apron to the kitchen, I'll donate this money to the base to buy public washboards, specially prepared for leaders like you who slack off at work."
"Three--"
"Hey, no, no!"
Sing Sing hurriedly got up and threw his military overcoat onto the chair.
"I was just kidding with you two! How could I let young girls eat instant noodles on the first day of the Lunar New Year! Come on! I'll show you my skills: sweet and sour pork, boiled fish, and braised chicken, all you can eat!"
Just kidding, that tin box contained the money he had saved for half a year!
Anyway, the food supply is all there, so I can have a full meal without spending any money. It's okay if I'm a little busy.
The kitchen was bustling with activity, steam rising from it.
Cao Dahua, who had been forcibly dragged over, was wearing arm sleeves and sighing in front of a basket of vegetables.
Hong Wubi shirtless, chopping ribs, making a loud clanging sound on the cutting board.
Beside him, Li Ding'an, with a bitter face, kept grumbling. "Old Zhou, that Fatty Hong insists on making his 'Hong-style Braised Pork.' Last time he made it, he put too much sugar in it, and it burned into charcoal, even sticking the cafeteria's exhaust fan to the ground!"
"Well, you learn from your mistakes, who knows, maybe this time I'll do better?"
Sing Sing cheerfully picked up the pork tenderloin from the cutting board, drew his Pig Butchering Knife, and the flash of the blade was dazzling.
With a flick of the wrist, the slices of meat were so thin they could be seen through, and even the tendons between the bones were removed cleanly.
The pork tenderloin was plunged into the oil, and the sizzling aroma filled the entire room.
Just as Old Zhou was about to show off his skills, Deadpool's scream came from outside, "Help! Murder! Old Man Jiang wants to perform a live dissection!"
After saying that, Deadpool, wearing bright red shorts printed with "749 Working Soul," dashed into the kitchen.
She slid down and knelt to hug Sing Sing's leg, her mask being pulled up to her forehead, revealing half of her mournful face.
"That crazy old man cut off three of my fingers yesterday while I was drunk to test my regeneration rate, and today he's carrying a blood-drawing pump to extract two pounds of my bone marrow! He says my cancer cells and Healing Factors together would be the raw material for a perpetual motion machine!"
Professor Jiang Si, with a head of silver-white hair, rushed in, holding a syringe thicker than his arm.
The man in the white coat, stained with some unidentified blood, exclaimed excitedly, "Wade, why are you running! This is a sacrifice for science! If you can figure out your cells, then all of humanity's severed arms and legs will grow new ones!"
"Come here obediently, I'll give you anesthesia! I'll even give you a nutrition allowance!"
You deserve it too!
Enraged, Sing Sing kicked Deadpool first, "Who sneaked into Old Man Jiang's lab yesterday, drank half a bottle of his 30-year-old vodka, and then diluted it with tap water to pretend it was unopened?"
He then turned to Jiang Si with a fawning smile, pressing the syringe down in the man's hand. "Seeing blood on the first day of the Lunar New Year is unlucky. Once we start work, I'll personally tie him up and take him to the lab, and I'll draw as much blood as I want!"
After much persuasion, Sing Sing managed to coax Jiang Si away. He then warned Deadpool that if he dared to steal the professor's wine again, he would tie him up and make him watch over the Baobao pot for Bao Bao, where he would smell the braised food every day but not be allowed to eat it.
The spatula was flipping wildly.
Sweet and sour pork tenderloin is coated in a bright red sauce and sprinkled with white sesame seeds, while boiled fish is fragrant with the numbing aroma of Sichuan peppercorns.
The cornbread stuck to the side of the braised chicken was baked until golden brown and crispy, and the table was piled high with dishes. The aroma was so enticing that even the Devil Dinosaur lying at the entrance of the canteen wagged its tail.
A long table was pushed together in the cafeteria hall, and a group of people quickly gathered around and filled the space.
Polaris picked up a piece of sweet and sour pork and stuffed it into her mouth, her cheeks puffed out, the tips of her ears turning slightly red, but she still stubbornly complained:
"It's so sweet, and the cooking skills are only slightly better than the cafeteria chef's."
Despite saying that, he didn't stop eating, picking up three pieces in a row and also adding a chicken leg to the Soft Serve next to him.
Xiao Ruan, holding a small bowl, ate the fish in small bites, then quietly pushed a cup of warm milk to Sing Sing's side, her voice barely audible. "Brother Zhou, Happy New Year."
Sing Sing chuckled and ruffled her blonde hair, "Eat as much as you want! I'll fight anyone who tries to be polite!"
At the 749 Bureau's Abnormal Human Research Center, the gatekeeper was leaning against the door of the guardhouse listening to a horse racing radio broadcast when his ears suddenly twitched.
He heard that the Sabretooth was pretending to have a bad cold, coughing loudly, trying to avoid working after the New Year. He then lightly waved his palm-leaf fan in the distance.
The Sabretooth rolled off the bed with a thud, squatted on the floor clutching its bottom, and didn't even dare to cough loudly.
The fireworks set off by Li Qianhuan exploded, and colorful lights shone through the glass, falling on the faces of everyone at the table.
Colossus fights with his sister for fish balls, Deep Abyss serves food to Petra.
Hong Wubi and Cao Dahua drank so hard that they had to stand on chairs, and even the usually cold-faced Silver Fox had a hint of a smile in his eyes.
Sing Sing stared intently at the Polaris, making everyone blush.
In reality, this bastard was thinking about Magneto's international investment attraction plan.
Magneto, oh Magneto...
Your daughter is eating sweet and sour pork here and receiving seven types of insurance and three types of housing fund contributions. When you come to visit us, you should at least donate three electromagnetic catapult production lines to our base, right?
The lively atmosphere lasted until late into the night before everyone, burping contentedly, went home to rest.
As Sing Sing walked home, he puffed on a cigarette, smugly thinking about how much bonus Wang Pangzi would give him this month.
Then Deadpool appeared in front of him, carrying a bulging snakeskin bag, his teleportation belt glowing blue, turning around and giving the middle finger towards the lab, yelling at the top of his lungs:
"Jiang Si, you old pervert! I'm not putting up with this anymore! I'm going to twist Miss Sinister's head off and give it to the boss as a New Year's gift!"
At this point, Deadpool turned to Sing Sing and said, "Oh, right, boss! I borrowed that Huazi from your locker as travel expenses!"
With a flash of blue light, Deadpool vanished without a trace, and Professor Jiang Si, who rushed over upon hearing the news, was so angry that he jumped up and down cursing.
Sing Sing was dumbfounded. That damned Deadpool!
That Huazi was for when he gave Director Wang a New Year's greeting!