These Two Lunatics Were Seriously Weird

"What the hell?! Are you kidding me?"

"They didn't even drop a single piece of equipment after the fight, and they just went straight back to town?!"

Sing Sing, holding the super-power suppression restraints, cursed loudly at the empty ice surface.

"Pah! You guys got away fast!"

Sing Sing straightened up, grimacing, the claw marks on his back throbbing faintly.

He kicked the empty medicine bottle aside, cursing, and looked up at the hole in the ceiling.

This is no place to linger. What if that crazy woman sends a few more suicide bombers through the internet cable?

These two pounds of pig brains in my arms are really going to die here.

He steadied his handbag, picked up the leather shoe he had thrown away, and leaped up from the Lao Zhou.

With a few leaps, he climbed back to the ground through the collapsed hole.

The swamp fog outside was still thick.

After changing back into his black leather shoes, Lao Zhou took out his communicator to call the Wandering Girl to come and help him back.

An unusual fluctuation suddenly came from the side.

Sing Sing quickly retreated a few steps, observing cautiously.

"Help! The brakes have failed!"

A spatial rift opened in mid-air not far away, and a figure wearing a red and black bodysuit emerged from it and fell into the muddy water.

The thing thrashed about wildly, rolling around while covering its buttocks with both hands.

"It hurts like hell! Those crocodiles in the sewers are all heartless bastards!"

"They actually attacked my sexiest and most shapely left gluteal muscle! That's my bread and butter, the tool I use to crack walnuts!"

Wade Wilson climbed out of the puddle, covered in mud, rubbing his backside and cursing under his breath.

Sing Sing's face darkened, and he hid his military satchel behind his back.

Sensing movement behind him, Deadpool turned around.

Upon recognizing Sing Sing, the white eye sockets on his mask immediately magnified, and he rushed over, tears streaming down his face, wanting to hug his leg.

"My dear Director Zhou! My second parents! You've finally come to save me, this lost lamb!"

Sing Sing raised his foot and pressed it against Deadpool's forehead.

"Stop! Maintain social distancing! Speak properly, don't get those sewer parasites on my suit."

Deadpool casually sat down on the ground and began gesturing animatedly:

"Director, you have no idea what inhuman days I've been living these past few days!"

"To gather intelligence for our 749 Bureau, I first fought Magneto, that old bastard, for three hundred rounds, and almost ripped his helmet off to use as a chamber pot!"

"Then an Azazel suddenly appeared out of nowhere and dumped me on a deserted island!"

"Hmph! I took a closer look, and what a coincidence! This is Stryker's territory!"

"I single-handedly hacked down hundreds of Mutants with a knife; my hands cramped up from all the chopping!"

That's not all!

"Later, I even sat down with Black King for an English afternoon tea!"

"And while I'm at it, I'll travel to the Avengers: Endgame next door, grab a knife, and stab that... um... purple sweet potato who looks exactly like Cable!"

"Seriously! If the security guards from the copyright department hadn't chased me away with stun guns, I would have snatched the Infinity Gauntlet back from you!"

It really turned into a purple sweet potato.

Sing Sing didn't say a word, but silently took out a calculator from his pocket.

Wade found the sound of keystrokes particularly eerie in the swampy night.

He narrowed his eyes behind his mask. "Wait a minute, Director, what are you pressing? Aren't we talking about heroic deeds?"

"We're done talking."

Sing Sing shoved the calculator screen right in front of Deadpool:

"Your dereliction of duty resulted in the disappearance of a key informant, and all points for your promotion assessment have been deducted."

"Unexcused absence will result in a deduction of three times the daily wage, according to the bureau's temporary worker management regulations."

"Finally, and most egregiously, you stole half a pack of Soft Zhonghua from me."

"All things considered, your chances of getting a permanent position are now gone, and you still owe me eight hundred US dollars."

Deadpool froze on the spot.

"Eight... eight hundred US dollars?! Just for one carton of cigarettes?! Are your tobacco leaves rolled with gold foil?!"

"Director! Leader! You can't do this to me! I've sacrificed half my backside for the sake of the bureau..."

He was howling as he kept nudging his head towards Sing Sing's waist.

By the moonlight, he caught a glimpse of what was at his waist.

"Wow!!"

Deadpool covered his head with his hands and backed away three meters.

"Cthulhu! It's Cthulhu's brain in a vat!"

"I knew you were just covering up your pork sales before, you actually took out people's brains and soaked them in alcohol! And you carried them with you everywhere!"

After shouting, this guy's insane curiosity took over again.

He crept closer, sticking out his mud-covered index finger, trying to shove it into the military satchel:

"How does this thing feel? Is it bouncy? Can I poke it...?"

Bang!

Sing Sing kicked him in the face without any hesitation.

"You big dummy! Did you even wash your hands before you started touching me like that?"

"This is the person Gambit asked me to save; all he has left is this brain."

Deadpool got up from the ground, rubbing his two symmetrically aching buttocks, and clicked his tongue in amazement:

"All that's left of his body is two pounds of brains and he's still alive? His vitality is stronger than a cockroach in a sewer."

"That fiercely protective France, the Gambit, ' will probably blow up the office with his playing cards if he sees his friend turned into Sichuan cuisine ingredients, won't he?"

Sing Sing Chow raised an eyebrow and patted Deadpool on the shoulder.

"So, I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself: find a medical Mutants."

"Once the person is found, your $800 fine will be wiped clean." "In addition, your probationary period will be reactivated, and you'll receive an extra $1,000 in third-party labor dispatch subsidies. Are you in or not?"

A subsidy of one thousand yuan!

The performance review for permanent employment can be reinstated!

This is the broad road to the Five Insurances and One Housing Fund, and the red armbands of the Chaoyang District Residents' Committee!

"Let's do it! We absolutely have to do it! I'd do it even if it meant going through fire and water!"

"If we're talking about healing and saving lives, there's a surgeon on Brick Street in New York named Stephen Strange, his skills are absolutely superb!"

"But that guy has a terrible temper, like a rock in a latrine, he probably won't take on this kind of unpredictable emergency... Oh, he works for the Avengers next door."

"How about we go find Mister Negative?"

"This guy usually gets involved in gang fights, but I've heard he's also pretty good at healing people! Perfect timing, we can go to Queens and ask my good buddy Spider-Man- Man for a place to stay for the night..."

"I told you to find a medical Mutants! If you keep spouting nonsense, I'll scoop your brains out and put them in a hot pot right now!"

Deadpool shrank his neck and raised his hands above his head:

"No, no! I remember now! There really is one!"

"Christopher Muse! Nicknamed 'Trauma Responder'! He's a young man in his early twenties, a genuine Omega-level potential nanny!"

"He's still a little black guy, I'm just afraid he'll steal your brain... Honestly, he has absolutely no sense of humor!"

Seeing that Sing Sing was about to draw his sword, Deadpool quickly spilled all the information.

"I heard about it before when I was doing freelance work on the black market."

"As long as the person isn't completely cold, even if their internal organs are shattered to pieces and their bones are broken into eight pieces, he can restore them to their original state with just a touch!"

Christopher Muse?

He had never heard of that name before.

To prevent Deadpool from making up a name just to get money, Sing Sing immediately dialed a professional's number.

"Hey Hank, are you asleep? Can you help me look someone up?"

On the other end of the phone, the Beast's voice sounded slightly tired, "Stephen, do you want to check the time? I just lay down five minutes ago!"

"Sigh! The capable are always burdened with more work! I have a compatriot of yours here who was cut off and only his brain remains."

"I heard from Wade... yes, that gossipy guy, that someone Christopher Muse said he could save him."

A moment later, Hank's calm voice rang out:

"Found him. Christopher Muse, an American Mutants, was a professional emergency medical personnel."

"His X-Gene possesses rare life-repairing properties, capable of reorganizing damaged cells and reversing near-death states."

However, I don't have his recent records here.

Sing Sing's eyes lit up, and after thanking him twice, he hung up the call.

"You're something else, kid. You actually have something at a crucial moment! Where is this person?"

Deadpool smugly put his hands on his hips:

"Detroit! That kid's hiding in the slums right now, working as a makeshift doctor!"

"I'm not bragging, but my connections in the Detroit slums are more extensive than the President of the United States' connections in the White House!"

"I could lead you there even with my eyes closed!"

"Very good, the time has come for the organization to test you."

Sing Sing nodded in satisfaction and casually reached into the Mini Dimensional Box.

After thinking for a moment, Lao Zhou pulled out the Hover Motorcycle that had been seized earlier, which was missing half of its handlebars.

Deadpool stared at the car, his eyes turning into hearts.

Sing Sing got on the bike, gripped half of the handlebars, and patted the back seat:

"Get in now! Sit in the back and lean to the right at a 45-degree angle. Use your weight as a human counterweight."

"Remember, if the car shakes and shatters the brains inside, be prepared to pay Remy with your own brain!"

Deadpool reluctantly climbed into the back seat, sticking out his newly healed buttocks and using half of his body as a weight outside the car.

Boom--!

The anti-gravity engine emitted a ghostly blue exhaust flame.

Amid Deadpool's wailing, the Hover Motorcycle wobbled and soared into the sky.

After more than ten hours of rapid advance.

The following evening, over the dilapidated industrial area of Detroit.

"Director! That cluster of tenement buildings belching black smoke up ahead is the East District slum!"

Deadpool hung on the right side of the car, shouting loudly into the cold wind.

Sing Sing lowered his altitude, preparing to land along the alleyway.

Suddenly, a flash of light appeared in the shadows of the abandoned factory below.

Laugh!

An RPG Rocket shot up from the ground, heading straight for the two people in mid-air.