Fighting Over the Spoils in the Ward, Old Men Come to Blows in Person
Uncle Biao walked in carrying a stack of folders and scanned the room.
"You've finished treating everything, right? You sound quite energetic; I could hear you talking about sugar even from two corridors away."
"Since we're not going to die, let's settle the costs of this transoceanic business trip!"
Chan Ka-kui and Ma Jun moved in unison, simultaneously pulling the blanket over their heads.
Uncle Biao completely ignored the two clowns pretending to be asleep and slapped a damage list onto Sing Sing's blanket.
"Stop playing dead, Sing Sing, explain yourself!"
Why is the battle damage quote for Xiaoyan's oil-paper umbrella so expensive?
Sing Sing Chow clutched his chest, then slumped onto the pillow, half-closing his eyes and groaning weakly.
"Ouch, Uncle Biao, that slap of yours really jolted my heart! Christopher, get me the defibrillator right away!"
"You need to understand, those aren't ordinary oil-paper umbrellas that sell for twenty yuan each at tourist attractions in Suzhou-Hangzhou and Hangzhou!"
"That's a protective amulet against mental pollution, handcrafted by our intangible cultural heritage inheritor using century-old ebony and Heavenly Silkworm Silk!"
Without changing her expression, Shi Xiaoyan from bed number six picked up her transparent thermos, blew on the floating red goji berries, and took a sip of warm water.
If you want more, just ask. I'll get two beauty treatments later.
Uncle Biao finally sighed, took out a Hero brand fountain pen from his Zhongshan suit pocket, and signed his name.
"I guess I owe you all a debt. Every time I come back from a field mission, I feel like I'll lose two years of my life!"
"Well done! You completely dismantled the Silver Peak Consortium's headquarters. Director Wang gave it special approval at the Party Committee meeting this morning."
"All personnel who participated in this transoceanic operation will be compensated according to the highest standard for special-grade work-related injuries. Their nutritional expenses during hospitalization will be doubled, and they will also be given a seven-day paid leave after discharge!"
Before the words were even finished, Chan Ka-kui and Ma Jun, who were still snoring in bed, threw off their blankets and sat up.
Ma Jun raised his arms, wrapped in thick bandages, high above his head, grinning widely to reveal a mouthful of white teeth.
Chan Ka-kui rubbed his hands together, beaming with delight. "This beating was a sure-fire win! I'll take Xiao Mei out to play afterwards, hehehe..."
Uncle Biao looked at the group with a smile, inwardly sighing, "They're truly reassuring..."
Clang!
Da Vinci rushed into the ward wearing flip-flops, found Sing Sing as soon as he entered, grabbed him by the collar and started shaking him.
"Ah Qi! Be the judge!"
"The neural strands that fused with twelve dominant genes are clearly my spoils! Old Man Jiang insists on taking them from me!"
Jiang Si chased in with his messy, silvery-white hair, his mustache twitching with anger.
"Bullshit! That's a complete waste of resources!"
"This core also contains a miniature anti-gravity neural circuit, which, according to the bureau's regulations, falls under the jurisdiction of my Bionic Research Institute. What are you, a barefoot doctor indulging in feudal superstition, doing getting involved!"
Seeing that the two old men were about to have a full-blown fight in front of everyone, Uncle Biao's face turned green with anger.
Almost dizzy from the shaking, Sing Sing coughed twice. "This is a special care ward, no loud noises allowed!"
"I'll stand up for justice, but first, hand over our equipment refurbishment plan. I'll side with whoever comes up with the better plan."
Jiang Si shoved Da Vinci aside, puffing out his sturdy chest and slapping it loudly.
"Of course! Upgrading equipment is my forte!"
"Li Ding'an's broken sword, and the Red Star Mechanical Arm of the Big Bear... I'll personally handle the repairs today!"
"Replace all of them with the Vibranium -coated Adamantium fabric we captured, and you'll be able to slice through tanks as smoothly as tofu next time!"
Da Vinci, not to be outdone, kicked Jiang Si in the butt.
"What's so special about that lump of iron? Little Swallow's parasol is on me!"
"I borrowed the vernier to help out, and used a mixture of Mutant Spider Silk and memory metal to make the umbrella ribs, then coated the umbrella surface with an anti-brainwave nano-biofilm!"
Li Ding'an, who had been leaning against the pillow in a daze, suddenly brightened up.
"Professor Jiang, I don't want my blade lengthened. Just recast it to the original dimensions of the broken blade. Changing the dimensions will only make things awkward once I'm comfortable using it."
"The weight can be increased by 30%, and the back of the blade can be thickened by 20%."
Jiang Si and Li Ding'an gave each other a thumbs up.
"You know your stuff. A heavy sword has no edge, its true skill lies in its simplicity. I'll forge the blank for you tonight!"
Seeing the group of people start their own discussion, Uncle Biao clapped his hands.
"Alright, alright, stop arguing! Let's do it the old way: the sticky lump of meat inside goes to Wenxi, and the outer metal shell goes to Professor Jiang!"
"If anyone dares to make a sound outside the ICU again, I'll give you a laxative injection and make you squat in the toilet for three days and three nights."
Upon hearing this, Da Vinci and Jiang Si put their arms around each other and ran out of the ward.
The ward quieted down again. Hu Yingying, who had just come in to witness the farce, had a smile on her face.
"My esteemed heroes, I have some good news to share!"
"All field teams have completed the site cleanup, and the prisoners have been safely evacuated."
As they were talking, Cao Dahua and Ueda Kenji, whose shoulder was wrapped in bandages, walked in.
As soon as Cao Dahua entered the room, he took out two packs of Zhonghua cigarettes, slapped them on Sing Sing's bedside table, and boasted loudly while sticking out his belly.
"You have no idea how dangerous it is beneath Detroit. It's pitch black, and filled with toxic miasma!"
"If it weren't for my composure under pressure, displaying the heroic spirit of Tiger of the Serious Crimes Unit, and risking my life to blow up the ventilation shaft, how could Storm have overcome her claustrophobia so quickly and awakened her 100,000-volt thunderbolt to pulverize the Ghoul?"
Chan Ka-kui, who was drinking warm water, spat it out and pointed at Cao Dahua's dark sunglasses, laughing loudly.
"Keep bragging! I saw Storm's voice message in the group chat when I asked Christopher to get my phone!"
"Ororo said that you were so startled by the noise of the Ghouls emerging from the ground that your legs went weak and you tripped, causing your snail rice noodle thermos to fly out of your hand and accidentally hit a load-bearing wall and explode!"
Cao Dahua blushed and quickly adjusted his wide-rimmed sunglasses to hide his embarrassment. He then turned and nudged Ueda Kenji behind him with his elbow.
"Nonsense! That was a strategic prone evasion maneuver, how can you call it weak legs!"
"Jiansi, you were standing right next to me holding the shield. Now, please give an objective and impartial report to the leaders on the tactical coordination at that time!"
Ueda Kenji pushed up his non-prescription glasses, glanced down at the three fingers that Cao Dahua was secretly gesturing behind his back, stood at attention, and began to recite the text meticulously.
"Reporting to all team leaders, yes, Team Leader Cao's falling posture was highly tactically deceptive."
"His perfect quadrupedal landing angle allowed him to avoid the loose rocks in the mine tunnel, and he successfully used the scent of the thermos to draw all of the enemy's fire."
"If it weren't for Team Leader Cao's decisive act of throwing the explosives, Miss Ororo and I would have had a hard time ending the battle in three minutes. That concludes my report. Please remember to deliver the roast duck to Team Leader Cao later."
As soon as the last half of the sentence was uttered, everyone in the room burst into laughter.
Sing Sing deftly opened a pack of Soft Zhonghua and thoughtfully handed one to Mu Shao'ai next to him.
"No, no, your stuff isn't as good as mine."
After saying that, Mu Shao'ai took another puff of his cigarette.
I don't know what was stuffed in his pipe, but it didn't smell like a regular cigarette at all; instead, it had a pleasant fragrance.
"Phew~ You young people can chat all you want, I'm going back to rest now..."
After saying that, he didn't linger and left the ward humming a song.
The ward was still bustling with activity.
Sing Sing looked at Cao Dahua with a smile.
"Alright, I know you've done a great job. I'll have Kenji polish your action report in both Japanese and Chinese before you submit it. Uncle Biao will definitely give you a second-class merit."
"However, I'm confiscating these two boxes of special-supply Huazi. Consider them a token of your respect for the eight of us seriously wounded soldiers. Don't bother asking the finance department for an invoice later."
Cao Dahua glanced at the two boxes of Huazi that hadn't even warmed up yet, and waved his hand, trying to maintain the air of a powerful gangster.
"No problem, we're brothers, we'll buy you more after you finish yours!"