Transmigrated with a House?
Did you want to become an immortal?
Did you want to soar through the heavens and burrow into the earth?
Did you want eternal life?
Did you want to live a life like the ones in movies?
Did you want to become a superhero?
Did you want to rule over a world with goddesses at your side?
Wish-fulfillment hotline: 18829574
This was a flyer Xia Yu saw when he entered the elevator. It was printed on ordinary A4 paper and stood alone on the mirror facing the elevator entrance.
Damn, those six questions are 666! Are scammers using so many tricks these days? Would anyone fall for this? I've got to take a picture and post it to Moments. This scam ad is freaking awesome!
Holy shit! Wait, why the hell is that my phone number? Who did this?
Xia Yu ripped the sheet of A4 paper down and immediately walked around the entire residential complex. Fortunately, there was only one. But that raised a question: with just the one posted in his building's elevator, which friend was pranking him? No, that wasn't right either. If someone really wanted to mess with him, they should have posted it somewhere else, and they wouldn't have written something like this. Wouldn't sticking a few ads saying "one shot cures all" on random utility poles have worked better?
Xia Yu returned home full of questions. His phone rang just as he entered. He checked it and saw a text message. The thing was, the number it came from was his own, and it contained just one sentence.
Did you want to become an immortal?
It wasn't strange to receive a text from his own number. Technology was so advanced now that there were plenty of ways to do it. The question was, who was messing with him? Xia Yu's first reaction was to call the number back. Just as he expected, calling his own number got him a busy signal. Xia Yu sat on the couch and lit a cigarette. As he turned on the TV, he casually texted back: "Who are you?"
Xia Yu wasn't worried now, because someone was obviously playing with him. A scammer had no reason to make something like that and post it right outside his home. The other party replied instantly!
Did you want to soar through the heavens and burrow into the earth?
Damn it, was this ever going to end? Hurry up and say who you are!
Did you want eternal life?
Are you done yet?
Did you want to live a life like the ones in movies?
Get lost!
Did you want to become a superhero?
I want to become your mom. Fuck off!
Did you want to rule over a world with goddesses at your side?
Holy shit, do you have OCD or something? Do you have to ask all six questions?
This time, the reply didn't come instantly. It took about two or three seconds.
Yes!
Damn, so that really is it. Xia Yu was amused. He was bored anyway, so he might as well see who it was!
Now that you've finished asking, you can tell me who you are, right?
I'm Qingfeng.
Qingfeng? Then I'm Mingyue, damn it! Could it be a friend he had met playing games before? Xia Yu had played countless games, from PC online games to mobile games. Since his university days, he had met countless guildmates and friends and exchanged contact information with most of them. But there were at least eight or ten people called Qingfeng or with Qingfeng in their names. It was hard to say who this was. He was too embarrassed to ask directly, so he'd try to get some information out of them first!
Oh, what's up?
Something!
Go on! What is it?
Did you want to become an immortal?
"Fuck your mother!" Xia Yu nearly jumped off the couch. A master! This is definitely a master!
I do, I do, I do. So what? Are you going to send me a secret manual, or transmit your cultivation to me through the phone screen?
This time, the other party didn't continue asking questions and sent him a link instead!
Xia Yu scratched his head. What kind of trick was this? He had to open it and see. But what if it was a scam or a Trojan link? Forget it, he'd take a look!
Just in case, Xia Yu uninstalled all the financial and payment apps on his phone, including Alipay, WeChat, and his banking apps. He tapped the link and was instantly redirected to a long agreement, written entirely in pictographs.
"Damn, I can't understand a single character. How ancient is this writing? This guy's impressive!" Xia Yu scrolled back and forth through it several times and found he really couldn't understand a single character. He couldn't help giving the other party a mental thumbs-up. Whether it was a scammer or a friend playing a prank, at least they had put some effort into it. Forget it, he couldn't be bothered to play along anymore. He'd go take a shower.
Xia Yu casually tapped exit, but his phone didn't respond. He pressed the Home button hard again. This time, the browser minimized and closed, but instead of returning to the home screen, four large characters appeared: Contract signed successfully!
"What the hell? I know about fingerprint unlocking, but you can sign a contract with your fingerprint too? Damn it, I shouldn't have touched it. I've definitely got a virus!" Xia Yu muttered to himself with a gloomy expression. The phone screen changed again.
System loading: 20%...
Watching the percentage climb rapidly on the phone screen, Xia Yu hurriedly pressed the power button. If it finished loading and turned out to be some powerful Trojan, heaven knew what it could do. Deleting the apps wasn't a guarantee of safety; people these days had far too much information on their phones. Xia Yu held the power button down tightly, hoping to shut it off before it finished loading. He could reflash it tomorrow, and that should take care of it. The percentage was already at seventy, but the phone still didn't respond to the power button. He could only watch as it reached 100%!
"Ah!" Xia Yu sighed helplessly and tossed the phone onto the couch. He'd take a shower first. Who knew that before he could turn around, the phone would emit an intense white light that engulfed him? Then the phone and Xia Yu vanished in an instant. It all happened so fast that Xia Yu didn't even have time to say "holy shit"!
"Holy shit!" Xia Yu shot upright in bed! Had he been dreaming? He patted his face, his head still a little muddled. That dream had been far too real. Xia Yu could hardly believe it. He looked down at himself. His lower body was still covered by the quilt. He looked at his hands. He kept feeling that something was strange, but what was wrong?
His head was too muddled, so out of habit, he reached for the cigarette pack on the bedside table and took one out. He found the lighter, lit the cigarette, and took a deep drag.
"Cough! Cough! Cough!" Xia Yu nearly choked to death on that one drag. What the hell was this? He looked down at the cigarette in his hand, then turned to look at the pack. AMERICAN LEGEND! American Legend, what the hell was that? Although he never stuck to one brand, he always rotated through the same ten or twenty kinds, and they were all domestic flue-cured cigarettes. Foreign blended cigarettes were harsh and had no lasting kick. He really didn't like them. Besides, when had he bought these? He had no memory of it at all!
For no apparent reason, Xia Yu felt a surge of panic. A strong sense of unease swept over him. He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. Slowly leaning against the headboard, he took another drag and began thinking back, trying to figure out what was wrong.
Yesterday, he had gotten off work, casually eaten a bowl of noodles outside, then gone to the gym for a workout. After that, he had gone home, entered the elevator, and seen that damned flyer. Wait, hadn't that been a dream? But if it was a dream, how had he gotten home? Why couldn't he remember it at all?
Going home from the gym, entering the elevator, and seeing the flyer—it all flowed too smoothly. It probably wasn't a dream. But if it wasn't, judging by what happened yesterday, that setup meant he should have freaking transmigrated. Yet when he looked at himself and the room, he was clearly still in his own home. He'd never heard of anyone transmigrating with their house!
What exactly happened? Damn it, that damned flyer, that damned phone, those damned texts. Oh, oh, oh! Right, the phone. Where's my phone?
"Holy shit!" Another "holy shit." There was indeed a phone on the bedside table, but it wasn't the phone Xia Yu knew. It was a Nokia slider phone. That was right, a Nokia 5710. Xia Yu recognized the model at a glance. His mother had used this phone when he was in sixth grade. He had especially liked the way it looked, and after he started middle school, his mother had given it to him after he begged her repeatedly. He had shown it off quite a bit in class back then. He had used the phone for all three years of middle school and only switched to a smartphone when he entered high school!
This was too bizarre. Xia Yu didn't dare touch the phone. His already muddled brain had now completely shut down. He slapped his head hard, then abruptly stood up. Taking a deep breath to steel himself, he shoved open the bedroom door and walked out.
He nearly said "holy shit" again, but this time Xia Yu held it back. The living room was still the same living room, and none of the furniture had changed, but all the electrical appliances had gone back to the era of the Nokia 5710. More accurately, the whole house had gone back to that era, because most of his family's furniture was solid wood and hadn't been replaced since he was in elementary school.
He had definitely transmigrated, straight from twenty-five years old back to elementary or middle school? What was this? Goodbye Mr. Loser? Hell, his surname was Xia too!
"Holy shit!" This time he really couldn't hold it back. He hadn't noticed in the bedroom because the curtains were drawn, but once he reached the living room, he discovered the view outside had changed. Xia Yu hurried to the window and looked out!
He had originally lived in a residential complex, on the eleventh floor. Now he was on the third floor, and it wasn't a residential complex either. This was clearly a commercial street, with all kinds of shops on the ground floor. Directly across from him was a large horizontal sign on the ground floor. It read "China Hair Salon" in white characters against a blue background, using traditional Chinese characters, with English alongside them. Looking again, all the signs he could see used traditional characters with English. Judging by the light, it was probably early morning. Few shops were open, and he could see only a few scattered pedestrians passing by, including foreigners.
Xia Yu sat on the couch in a daze. He was certain he had transmigrated and that yesterday definitely hadn't been a dream. His phone had loaded some kind of system and brought him along when it transmigrated! He had transmigrated!