My name was Uchiha Obito.
A genius ninja of Konoha (or so I believed), a man destined to become Hokage in the future (or so I believed).
There were currently two people I hated most in the village. One was that arrogant Kakashi, and the other was... this detestable guy!
"So, the mission failed?" Uchiha Fuyou looked at Obito, who had originally seemed somewhat dejected but became annoyingly punchable the moment he saw him.
Of course, he did not care. It was perfectly normal for a twelve- or thirteen-year-old kid to be punchable!
"It was completed! Completed!" Obito said irritably. "When I, the great Obito, take action, what mission could I possibly fail?"
"Then did you get dumped? My dad said there were plenty more fish in the sea. Just find another one. There's no need to be a simp. If you really want to be one, why not learn from a certain someone? He simps while visiting brothels, enjoying himself so much he forgets to go home! He's in the village right now. Want me to arrange for him to take you out for some fun? Don't worry, I'll pay!"
"..." Was that even something a person should say?
Obito stared speechlessly at Uchiha Fuyou. He did not even bother reacting to Fuyou trying to make him call him dad anymore!
"How could anyone be that disgusting?"
"The world is huge. There are always a few weirdos around. For example, there are even people who want to destroy the world just because their girlfriend died! Of course, none of that matters!" Uchiha Fuyou sighed sentimentally, shook his head, and looked at Obito. "So, although the mission was completed, you made a fool of yourself?"
Obito, after all~
Before he went dark, every challenge he made ended in failure. It was not that he lacked strength—his abilities were decent, not that bad—but there would always be some sort of accident.
After going dark... things improved quite a bit. Perhaps it was because he transformed from an ordinary young punk into an absolute lunatic!
The Uchiha Clan's strength was bizarre. At first, you might be trash, but once you awakened your eyes, you became an elite among those at your level. Even if you were a Genin, you would be an elite Genin. And if the stimulation was intense enough... damn, even if you had started out as trash, as long as you awakened the Mangekyo, you would become a big shot in the shinobi world.
Of course.
Except for his second nephew... whether he awakened his eyes or not, he was always getting beaten up. Even after reaching the tattoo era, as long as he started acting cool, his ending would only be another beating!
That guy had to be cursed!
"This time, was it Fire Release stuck in your throat? Did a kunai get in the way? Or were you so scared of the enemy that you wet your pants?"
"..." You were really annoying when you talked!
However.
Uchiha Fuyou ignored the furious Obito, who was flailing around like a wild beast, and instead said earnestly, "Remember, you are not completely without anything. If you can't be a ninja anymore, you can still come back and inherit dad's estate!"
"Bastard! Who's your son?" Obito said with a face full of black lines. "I'm a man who'll become Hokage!"
If he had been a ninja, the great Obito would definitely have shown him the might of genius ninja Uchiha Obito!
With a cold snort, he had originally come out to clear his head after returning from the mission feeling somewhat down. But now... his mood had become even worse, and he wanted to challenge that arrogant guy!
He would make him understand!
He had only gone easy on him during this mission!
Uchiha Obito snorted, stuffed his hands into his pockets, tossed his head, and said, "I'm going back! This is boring!"
"Putting on a cool act now?" Uchiha Fuyou smiled faintly and narrowed his eyes, as if he had thought of something. He directly pressed a hand on Obito's head. "Want to become stronger?"
He was definitely going to touch Bro Obito's head.
As the younger brother of the Uchiha Clan's patriarch, Uchiha Fuyou felt responsible for caring about the mental development of these orphans.
He had to help them establish a proper outlook on life, values, and the world; let them understand that while the world had darkness, it also had light; and teach them to face the sorrow in their hearts correctly, preventing the Uchiha Clan's tragedy from happening again.
"If you want to, I can teach you~"
"..."
Uchiha Obito rolled his eyes, looking at Uchiha Fuyou with utter contempt, as though he were saying, You?
Just an ordinary person?
"Looking down on me? Back then, I was a genius ninja who graduated even earlier than Kakashi. I simply turned it down." Uchiha Fuyou said in an old-fashioned tone. "But teaching you should still be no problem!"
"No need!" Uchiha Obito said irritably, turning to leave.
"Are you still troubled by your failures? Still saddened because you can't defeat your love rival? Still lost because you can't catch the attention of the girl you love? Now, as long as you stop and patiently listen to my guidance for a few minutes, all your troubles, sadness, and confusion will disappear!" Uchiha Fuyou's voice was full of temptation as he spoke slowly. "What are you waiting for? This is your only chance. You won't have to spend a single cent. Hearing it means profiting, so hurry over here!"
As soon as he finished speaking.
Obito's shoulders trembled, and he stopped walking. There seemed to be some hesitation in his eyes.
After all.
He wanted to become stronger too. He wanted to defeat Kakashi too. He wanted to draw Rin's attention too.
But he had no way to do it.
Kakashi truly was a genius!
Still.
He felt that if he stopped, there would be an ominous feeling in his heart!
This guy really was annoying!
Just as Obito was struggling.
"You're tempted!" Uchiha Fuyou's leisurely voice came again. "Believe me! I was a genius ninja back then too!"
"..." Uchiha Obito fell silent. He took a deep breath, turned around to look at Fuyou, and said seriously, "You really won't lie to me?"
"Of course~" Uchiha Fuyou showed the amicable, profit-seeking smile of a merchant. "I'm a businessman. Integrity has always been the principle of my trade!"
"Then tell me! What are you going to teach me?"
"Don't rush! First, you must learn some ninja theory compiled by a certain great ninja!"
"???"
"I discovered it in the Uchiha Clan ruins. When I saw it, I was utterly stunned! Ordinary people simply could not write such supreme theory, so I suspect it was passed down by that legendary strongest ninja of the past."
"You mean..." Obito was shocked!
As an Uchiha, he naturally knew exactly who that ninja was. Upon hearing that Fuyou had not made it up himself, but that it was a secret manual left behind by the strongest Uchiha, he became even more excited.
But Fuyou covered his mouth and seriously shushed him, saying sternly, "Now, listen as I explain slowly!"
Only after seeing Obito become equally serious did he let go. His voice was as steady and deep as an ancient pine as he slowly said, "Kunai dipped in shit, the God of Shinobi descends; bare-handed ball grab, the Six Paths meets disaster; explosive tag up the ass, tailed beasts suffer; strike the groin, they fall down wailing; spit from your mouth, a deity comes down; say no more, and victory is guaranteed."
He delivered it all in one breath!
Then he looked with satisfaction at the dumbfounded Obito. "Did you memorize it?"
As soon as he finished speaking.
"..." Obito came back to his senses, his face full of black lines. He slapped Fuyou's hand away. "I'm such an idiot for actually believing you!"
How could a legendary ninja possibly say such things?
That was a powerful man who could fight the First Hokage, the God of Shinobi. How could he say such low-class nonsense!
It had to be a lie!
"I'm going back!"
"Don't disbelieve it! That really was a secret manual left behind by him. It was because of this that I became a genius ninja back then. You just can't understand its deeper meaning yet. As long as you memorize it, one day you'll understand its mysteries and become a genius ninja like me!"
However.
How could Fuyou possibly let him go now? Since he could not raise him to become a spendthrift or a fat shut-in, then he would train him to become a hooligan.
As long as his mentality was strong enough, he would not break down even in the face of despair!
He continued earnestly, "Back then, he also left behind a matching peerless forbidden technique, but it is far too destructive and cannot be used lightly." His bewitching voice rang out again. "Want to learn it? If you do, I can teach you!"
As soon as he finished speaking.
Uchiha Obito indeed stopped walking. He looked at Fuyou with both doubt and longing, hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Re... really?"
"Really! I can teach you! But you must remember... you cannot use it lightly!"
"Okay!" He was being so cautious. It probably was not a lie!
Under Obito's expectant gaze, Fuyou clasped his hands together, interlocking them. "Then, quickly extend the index and middle fingers of both hands, with the thumbs overlapped together."
"The Tiger seal, I remember that! The opening gesture for powerful ninjutsu!"
Obito was excited.
It was real!
Fuyou nodded approvingly. "You can be taught!" After saying that, his tone changed again, turning stern. "Now watch carefully. You absolutely must remember this!"
As soon as he finished speaking!
Obito stared intently with wide eyes.
Then.
He saw.
Uchiha Fuyou form the Tiger seal with his hands, then quickly thrust them upward before pulling them back. Smiling at Obito, he asked, "Have you learned it?"
"..."
Learn my ass!
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