If he had stayed by his side every step of the way, at least he would have kept him from harm.
Xin Hexue had also gone to Pei Guangji's room at the time. Perhaps he had been looking for "Pei Guangji."
Xi Zhengqing lowered his head, his insides seeming to twist together. Like a stray dog, he rested his hand on the hospital room's door handle, but for a long time, he did not turn it.
A passing nurse asked whether he had come to visit the patient and whether the door was locked from the inside.
Xi Zhengqing politely declined the medical worker's help.
Taking a deep breath, he decided to speak to Xin Hexue as himself, rather than as Pei Guangji.
When Xi Zhengqing entered, Xin Hexue was staring blankly at the white wall, his eyes seemingly unfocused. Only when the door creaked open did he turn his head in a daze and look at his visitor.
Xi Zhengqing did not know whether it was all in his head, but he thought Xin Hexue seemed thinner after his ordeal. His jade-white body filled out the hospital gown, and his whole bearing was so soft that he looked as though a push would topple him.
The young man turned his head toward him.
His black hair hung neatly against his neck, revealing glimpses of snow-white skin.
Xi Zhengqing's heart clenched as he stopped beside the hospital bed.
"Guangji...?" Xin Hexue asked, bewildered. "No, Mr. Xi?"
From the gray eyes, he could tell that this was not his boyfriend, Pei Guangji.
Xi Zhengqing spoke. "I've dealt with the people responsible for drugging you. You... last night..."
He had barely uttered those words when Xin Hexue seemed to recall something unpleasant. His expression grew conflicted and troubled. "I don't remember. My head hurts..."
Xi Zhengqing's heart tightened. He pressed the back of his hand to Xin Hexue's forehead to check his temperature. "Does anything else hurt besides your head?"
Xin Hexue shook his head.
He didn't remember...?
Xi Zhengqing had originally intended to ask what the heterospecies who had slept with the young man looked like.
If he didn't remember...
A thought flashed through Xi Zhengqing's mind. He recalled what the doctor had tactfully told him.
"If things don't go well, the patient may suffer memory loss after waking up. But there's no need to worry; he won't lose all his memories. What could happen is selective amnesia, a psychological defense mechanism. When faced with a painful stimulus, the patient protects himself through subconscious selective amnesia."
Xi Zhengqing's heart beat faster and faster.
He immediately went to fetch the doctor to examine Xin Hexue.
Outside the hospital room, Xi Zhengqing anxiously waited for the results.
The doctor came out and closed the door.
The private room was well soundproofed, so voices from the hallway would not carry inside.
Xi Zhengqing's speech involuntarily quickened. "How is he?"
The doctor said, "Aside from the patient's poor physical condition, the preliminary test results show no abnormal fluctuations in any of his indicators."
Xi Zhengqing asked anxiously, "Then how could he have forgotten what happened last night?"
The doctor hesitated. Professional ethics prevented him from prying into a patient's privacy, but when the young man had been brought to the hospital last night, the red marks on his body had indeed been shocking, especially combined with the fact that he had ingested an aphrodisiac.
On a personal level, the doctor very much wanted to condemn the Alpha before him, but the man was the Xi Group's heir.
Thus, the doctor could only say, "The patient suffered a severe shock, which he may have found impossible to accept, so he subconsciously forgot it. On the surface, he has completely lost that memory, and his life is unaffected. However, the shadow of it may still remain. If things don't go well, it could gradually develop into a psychological hang-up that causes subconscious aversion..."
Xi Zhengqing could no longer take in the latter half of what the doctor said.
He had heard the first half, which confirmed his suspicion. Xin Hexue really had forgotten last night; he did not know who had slept with him.
Xi Zhengqing pressed him. "How long will this selective amnesia last?"
The doctor hesitated. "There's no way to be certain. Some people's memory loss is temporary, while others may never remember for the rest of their lives."
Xi Zhengqing asked, "How long is temporary?"
The doctor said, "Generally, it's measured in years."
Measured in years.
Xi Zhengqing thought that by then, Pei Guangji and Xin Hexue's lover contract would have long since expired.
Xi Zhengqing returned to the hospital room.
Xin Hexue was thinking about how to keep explaining this away, or whether he should simply pin it on the heterospecies—the one whose head he had smashed with a scented candle jar in the washroom.
He really had overestimated his physical condition at the time. He had originally planned to get it over with quickly, rid himself of the drug's effects, and return to the banquet hall as usual.
His muddled brain last night had not allowed Xin Hexue to calculate every step.
But when he looked up, Xi Zhengqing's expression was rather grim.
Had he discovered something?
Xin Hexue watched him quietly.
Xi Zhengqing sat down beside the bed. It was still early spring, and he took Xin Hexue's slightly cool hand. "I'm very sorry."
"It was me last night."
"No one else."
Xin Hexue: "..."
It was not as though he had never imagined things might develop this way.
But Xi Zhengqing had actually come out and said it himself without the slightest hesitation.
All right, this was the most deeply devoted and restrained episode yet.
Chapter 23: Face Blindness (23)
Xin Hexue's palm was slightly cold.
A fine drizzle fell outside the window. From this high floor, all that could be seen was a vast, empty gray sky. Xi Zhengqing waited patiently for judgment, though he could not help feeling somewhat uneasy, and a little sweat dampened his warm palm.
He wrapped his hand around Xin Hexue's. The skin touching his was cool and soft.
Xin Hexue had beautiful hands, slender and fine-boned, though not broad. His pretty knuckles curled thinly in Xi Zhengqing's palm.
It filled Xi Zhengqing with immense satisfaction, as though all he had to do was encircle Xin Hexue's wrist like this, then go a step further and wrap his entire fist in his palm, and Xin Hexue would belong to him.
As the rain grew heavier, the young man's slightly husky voice sounded.
"Are you joking?"
Xi Zhengqing was so solemn that it seemed he was not making up a lie.
"I did have a little to drink last night. You'd been drugged and weren't entirely lucid. I should have kept myself restrained and rational."
"But..."
"I'm very sorry."
Xi Zhengqing lowered his head. "I'm not a casual Alpha. I mean, I've never even held anyone else's hand. My lack of self-control hurt you, and I'll take responsibility for you. If you're willing, I think we can get engaged first."
He raised his eyes and looked at Xin Hexue with no small measure of anticipation.
"The Xi Family has its own jewelry designer. I can have him come this afternoon to measure our ring sizes, and we can discuss the design of our wedding rings."
Xin Hexue: "..."
If he had not known that Xi Zhengqing currently had only sixty-five affection points, he would have thought the man had lost his head over love.
At this stage, Xi Zhengqing had not reached the point where he could make a promise of marriage.
Sure enough.
Seeing that he said nothing, Xi Zhengqing continued to probe. "You might think this is moving too fast. We can also start by dating and get to know each other step by step."
He was testing the limits of what Xin Hexue could tolerate.
Xin Hexue watched him act.
They had even crossed the xx line, and now that he had changed identities, he could grandly talk about "getting to know each other step by step." Who was he trying to fool?
Xin Hexue said softly, "Mr. Xi, please behave yourself. We've only met a few times, and besides, Pei Guangji and I..."
He paused before saying, "What you're doing is very inappropriate."
Xin Hexue lowered his eyelashes. "I hope you can keep this a secret. Let's pretend it never happened, and especially don't mention it to Guangji."
Xi Zhengqing had investigated long ago. After finding that contract in Pei Guangji's study, he had even sounded out the assistant, Jiang Jing, who had survived the aircraft accident and received workers' compensation insurance and financial compensation from the Pei Corporation.
He knew Xin Hexue's background: he had come from the slums and had been forced to sign a thoroughly unequal lover contract with Pei Guangji because his adoptive father owed gambling debts.
To be honest, if Xi Zhengqing had known these details before meeting Xin Hexue, he would not have taken any interest in him.
Now things were different.
Xi Zhengqing had spent time with Xin Hexue, and the young man's contradictory air of warmth and coolness had completely captivated him.
What gave Pei Guangji the right to be so happy behind their backs?
Xi Zhengqing stood up to his full height, trying to take a more forceful approach with Xin Hexue. "Is it because Pei Guangji requires you to be completely faithful to him for the duration of the contract?"
The young man's face paled for an instant. He had clearly thought of that thoroughly unequal contract, as though a scab had been torn from a scar that had not fully healed. "Did he tell you about that too?" he asked.
Xi Zhengqing had guessed right.
He had concluded from the start that Xin Hexue and Pei Guangji's relationship was not that good and had a weak emotional foundation. Xin Hexue might be fond of Pei Guangji, but love would not begin with a transactional contract.
Xi Zhengqing began to disparage Pei Guangji. "Can't you see him for what he is? He doesn't see you as an independent person, but as an object. He hasn't even come to visit you since you were admitted."
Of course he could not visit. Pei Guangji was lying in the ICU upstairs.
Xin Hexue shot him a discreet glance.
He found it rather ridiculous that Xi Zhengqing was calling the kettle black.
Love would not begin with a transactional contract, but clearly, it would not be built on deception either.
Yet Xi Zhengqing seemed completely unaware of that, and he was overly confident.
Xin Hexue would not remind him for now. Looking weary, he dismissed his visitor. "Mr. Xi, I need to rest. Whatever the case, I hope you can keep this a secret."
Xi Zhengqing did not intend to push Xin Hexue too hard. He left the young man some quiet space and withdrew from the room.