Golden Cicada was sent to Ksitigarbha for reincarnation, buzzing nonstop along the way like a fly.
The two bald monks escorting him vomited blood all the way and nearly kicked the bucket. By the time they reached Ksitigarbha, they collapsed with a thud and fainted.
"This has nothing to do with me! You fainted on your own."
Ksitigarbha looked at Golden Cicada speechlessly as Golden Cicada shook his head.
"Enough. Go reincarnate," Ksitigarbha said.
"Ahem, Ksitigarbha! May I ask what family I'll be born into? Can I skip the Meng Po Soup... can I..."
"Get lost..."
Golden Cicada kept babbling as he was pushed all the way onto the Bridge of Helplessness.
Meng Po, who looked like an old grandma, was ladling soup at the bridgehead. A long line of ghosts stretched across the Bridge of Helplessness.
Golden Cicada stood at the very end of the line, grumbling away. The nearby Ghost Messengers and wandering monks kept far away from him.
"Damn, getting reborn and reincarnated is such a hassle. This process is way too complicated. If I ever attain enlightenment, I'll definitely propose simplifying it."
"Mm... Best if people could just reincarnate directly. No, no, no—how great would it be if they could just jump straight into a pregnant woman's belly after dying? It'd even save the Heavenly Court a fortune in expenses."
"Hahaha, I'm fucking brilliant."
"..." The surrounding ghosts were speechless.
"You're fucking brilliant indeed. Why not let King Yama's position be yours too?"
"Hehe, keep it low-key, keep it low-key."
"What's your mother's surname?"
Pfft...
Golden Cicada babbled all the way along. The ghosts ahead of him could no longer stand listening to him, so they voluntarily made way. He quickly reached Meng Po.
"Big Sister, this soup isn't poisonous, is it?"
At that, Meng Po