Fairies Don't Poop!

The next morning.

"Haaah~"

Lin Fan yawned as he got out of bed, walking from his bedroom to the bathroom.

He was startled when he passed the living room and saw Long Yue sitting silently on the sofa.

"Whoa, Empress, you're awake, so at least make a sound. Sitting there like a ghost."

"I'm finished... finished..."

Long Yue looked utterly dejected and ignored Lin Fan, muttering to herself with her head bowed.

Lin Fan walked over to her, concerned. "What's wrong? What happened?"

She had been in a good mood after eating a whole cake last night. How could she look like she was about to die after just one night's sleep?

"Wuwuwu... I'm finished, finished...!"

Long Yue suddenly covered her face and cried out, sobbing uncontrollably.

Lin Fan was shocked. It was the first time he had ever seen the usually aloof and strong Empress like this.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong? Don't just cry, tell me."

"Wuwuwu... I, I... I'm not clean anymore!"

Long Yue tearfully grabbed Lin Fan's collar and cried out.

"Haaah... (⊙_⊙)? What do you mean, not clean? I didn't do anything to you."

Lin Fan looked utterly bewildered.

Long Yue looked up with red eyes, glaring at him angrily.

"I don't mean that kind of not clean!"

"Then what kind of not clean are you talking about?" Lin Fan was even more confused.

"You...! Seriously! Do I have to say it so directly!"

"Alright, I'll tell you. I pooped! There, I said it! Wuwuwu..."

Saying that, Long Yue became agitated and sobbed again.

Lin Fan stood there, stunned and blank.

"Pooped? And then...?"

"What do you mean, 'and then'? This is a serious matter! It's absolutely intolerable!"

"I am the Empress of the Extreme Saint Heavenly Palace, revered by all people. How, how can I expel such dirty and foul things from my body like a mortal!"

"I can't accept it! I can't accept it! This can't be real!"

Long Yue clutched her head, her expression filled with despair and grief that she couldn't accept.

Generally, cultivators who reached a certain level would enter the grain avoidance stage. They would only need to absorb the spiritual energy of heaven and earth to nourish themselves, no longer needing to eat anything. Naturally, they wouldn't need to excrete anything either.

Even if they ate something out of gluttony, they could completely purify and absorb the food through their own power.

Anything that couldn't be purified or absorbed would turn into a turbid qi or condense into a pill, which would then be expelled from the mouth or the surface of the body.

She had never, ever excreted from her lower body like a mortal!

Not even once!

This was something she absolutely could not accept; it was no exaggeration to call it a stain on her life, a disgrace!

If others found out, her reputation as the Empress of the Immortal Realm would be ruined!

At this moment, she even felt the urge to end her own life and make it all disappear, as if that Supreme Saint Empress had died when she fell into the void...

"I thought it was something serious. You just went to the toilet."

"Going to the toilet is a form of detoxification. It's a good thing. People can't just hold their poop until they die."

Learning that she had merely gone to the toilet, Lin Fan felt relieved and comforted her dismissively.

She had eaten almost an entire cream cake by herself last night. It would have been hard for her not to need the toilet.

Now that her spiritual power was almost depleted, her body needed to consume food to replenish its functions. Naturally, she would need to detoxify like a mortal. In his eyes, this was all perfectly normal.

Long Yue could not accept this fact and roared at Lin Fan with near despair:

"It's not a good thing at all!"

"I am the Empress of the Extreme Saint Heavenly Palace, the supreme ruler of the Immortal Realm!"

"Fairies don't poop!!"

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Lin Fan: "..."

Lin Fan was speechless. After a moment of silence, he coughed lightly and changed the subject to comfort her:

"Empress, expelling impurities and toxins from the body is a natural mechanism. Now that both of us have lost our cultivation, our bodies can't purify impurities on their own, so we have to excrete them like mortals."

"It's not just you; even I have to. Defecation is a normal human experience, nothing to be ashamed of."

Hearing this, Long Yue felt a little better and stopped crying.

"Really? Then you've pooped too, Demon Supreme?"

"...Uh, of course! I already had a massive bowel movement last night, so you don't need to dwell on it, Empress." Lin Fan admitted after a slight hesitation.

Long Yue wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, feeling much more balanced.

"But you're from the Demon race, and your original form was human, so it's normal for your body to expel such filth. It's different for me."

Lin Fan: "..."

"Empress, saying that is really unnecessary..."

Lin Fan felt speechless, having tried to comfort her with good intentions, only to be stabbed in the back.

To comfort her, he had deliberately told a white lie, but she actually thought it was natural for demons to poop...

But as long as they had cultivation and spiritual power, demons didn't need to poop either!

"My apologies, I was impolite."

Long Yue also felt that her words were inappropriate and quickly apologized.

After Lin Fan's guidance, she no longer felt so distressed.

Regardless, this was her body's self-protection. To return to the Immortal-Demon Continent later, she had to accept it.

"It's nothing."

Seeing that Long Yue was in much better spirits, Lin Fan got up and headed to the bathroom to start his morning routine.

As he pushed open the bathroom door, he froze in place.

At the same time, Long Yue's chilling words echoed from behind him, and an icy killing intent swept up his spine.

"If you dare say it smells, I'll kill you!"

Lin Fan stood frozen, his mind racing. After hesitating for 0.00001 seconds, he decisively turned back with a smile, gave Long Yue a thumbs-up, and comforted her:

"What smell? Even the Empress's poop smells fragrant!"

As soon as he finished speaking, a throw pillow flew and hit him squarely in the face.

"...You die!"

Long Yue's face turned as red as blood, whether from shame or anger.

Before the second throw pillow could reach him, Lin Fan quickly dodged into the bathroom.

"Damn Demon Supreme...!"

Long Yue gritted her teeth in anger, then lay back on the sofa with a look of utter despair.

When Lin Fan cautiously peeked his head out of the bathroom, he saw her looking up at the ceiling with teary eyes, murmuring to herself:

"Going home... I want to go home..."

She knew very little about this new and unknown world, and didn't even know how to learn more about it.

Completely unsure of what to do next, her path in life was a complete fog.

"Empress, you're just too idle, that's why you always overthink things."

Seeing Long Yue's dejected mood, Lin Fan plopped down beside her and pointed at the television in the center of the living room.

"I've turned on the television. Do you want to watch?"

"Television? That black mirror?"

Long Yue turned her head to look at the television, her expression puzzled.

The dark screen of the television reflected her and the living room, making it look like a black mirror.

"This isn't a mirror; it's a television. It's an electrical appliance specifically for playing videos and one of the ways people entertain themselves nowadays."

Lin Fan gave a brief introduction, then picked up the remote control and turned on the television.

The television screen lit up, instantly displaying colors and sounds. Several talking sheep appeared on the screen.

Seeing this, Long Yue's eyes widened in astonishment. She sprang up from the sofa and pointed at the screen:

"Sheep! The sheep are talking!"