Forgotten Past

But Gu Song's story about Lop Nur was quite compelling.

At least, I listened with rapt attention. I was also curious whether they had found the hiker who had wandered off to relieve himself, and what exactly they had gone through that night.

"When we returned to camp, that group had come back too. They found the man, but something was wrong with him. He looked completely dazed. No matter what we asked, he wouldn't answer, and his eyes had lost their usual spark. The Captain said he'd probably been possessed, that he must have run into something unclean. Oh, I haven't told you about our Captain, have I? Whenever we hikers went out, we traveled in groups. Sometimes there were four or five people, sometimes ten or twenty, but regardless of the number, we always chose a Captain. A group activity like this needed someone to take the lead. When opinions differed, someone had to make the final call."

I nodded. I could understand that. The more people there were, the more ideas there would be. One person wanted this, another wanted that; reaching a consensus was difficult. Having a leader was necessary.

"Our Captain was from the north. He was big and tall, and he had a wealth of experience. Once he said that, we all felt it made sense. But honestly, my wife and I had joined quite a few hiking trips, and it was our first time encountering something like this. My wife didn't really believe in ghosts or spirits, so she didn't take the Captain's talk of possession seriously. She thought that guy had simply been frightened by something. It was obviously the result of excessive shock."

I said nothing. I hadn't been there, so I didn't know what had actually happened. Without investigation, I had no right to speak.

"That night, the Captain watched over that guy because they were close; they were old partners. As for the rest of us, the Captain told us to get some proper rest. We had originally suggested taking turns looking after him, but the Captain said there was no need. He said he would take care of him and told us to get to sleep, since we still had to travel the next morning. Since he put it that way, we didn't argue. After all, his physical condition was probably the best out of all of us."

Gu Song pursed his lips as he continued. "Strangely enough, we usually didn't sleep very well out in the wilderness. The slightest noise or movement would wake us up. But that night, every one of us slept straight through until dawn. It was almost nine by the time we woke up, and we found that the Captain and that guy were both sound asleep. We didn't wake them immediately. It wasn't until after ten that we roused them, because according to our prior arrangement, we had to walk ten li to catch a vehicle. We'd arranged to meet it at noon. It would wait for us, but we didn't want to be late. By the time we woke them, that guy had completely recovered. But when we asked him what had happened the night before, he said he couldn't remember. Still, I thought he was lying. I'm a teacher—I can tell at a glance when a student is telling the truth or lying. And the Captain kept changing the subject, talking about this and that, stopping us from asking any more questions. So we stopped asking."

I couldn't make out anything particularly unusual from that.

Duan Hongbin said to me, "Ask him whether that guy looked like his wife did later, when she sat there staring blankly by herself."

I asked as instructed. Gu Song froze for a moment, then thought it over before answering, "Now that you mention it, I really hadn't noticed before. They were indeed somewhat similar. But she looked better than he did, not as serious. At least she still knew how to cry and laugh. That guy looked like an idiot at the time. Even his facial expression was stiff."

"How long after you came back did your wife start acting strangely?"

"It should have been exactly one week. Yes, one week. Xiaobai, do you think what happened to my wife has something to do with what happened in Lop Nur that night?"

I didn't answer. I simply asked him for the contact information of those hikers. He hesitated, but eventually wrote down several contacts.

I glanced at Duan Hongbin. He was the one who had told me to ask for them. It seemed he suspected something about Gu Song and his wife's trip to Lop Nur.

"Mr. Gu, I have to return to my earlier question. What exactly do you want me to do? What outcome are you hoping for?" I couldn't help asking again. At the very least, I needed to know what he wanted and whether I could help him.

He replied, "I want to know the truth behind her death. Also, why did I receive a message from her? If she was really murdered, then the real killer must not be allowed to get away with it."

"Mr. Gu, how about this? I'll help you investigate, but I can't make any promises. I can't even guarantee that I'll be able to tell you how your wife died. But I'll do my best. Of course, you'll need to give me time. You know how difficult an investigation like this can be. Besides..."

I stopped there. I had been about to discuss payment, but then I wondered whether talking about money would seem too vulgar. Besides, I was now with the Ninth Bureau, Fifth Division's Special Section. Should I even charge for this sort of work, or was this already within the scope of my duties?

It was all Xie Yi's fault for not explaining things clearly.

Gu Song was a perceptive man. Seeing that I had stopped speaking, he immediately took two stacks of hundred-yuan bills from his bag. "There's twenty thousand here. I know your investigation will cost money too. If you can really catch the person who killed my wife, there'll be an additional reward."

I glanced at the money, then said, "All right. I'll go to your home tomorrow and take a look first."

That had also been Duan Hongbin's idea. To figure out how Gu Song's wife had died, we needed to know more about her.

Gu Song left, and I didn't ask him to stay, even though the smell of food was already drifting from the kitchen. I wasn't a hypocrite, and I wasn't used to being around others, especially strangers.

So I skipped even the most basic pleasantries.

But I knew I had to slowly adapt to interacting with society, to dealing with all kinds of people in it.

Between my dreams of the Little Ancestral Hall Entrance and Xie Yi's appearance, I had already sensed that my life would no longer be peaceful. I could no longer keep living in my own world.

"What do you think?"

Duan Hongbin's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"I don't know. Honestly, I still haven't gotten into character, and I don't think I have the ability to handle this kind of problem." I shrugged helplessly.

Duan Hongbin looked at me sharply. "You can do it. You're just too lacking in confidence."

I gave a bitter smile. I truly lacked confidence. I had no basis for it at all.

"You created us. You possess all of our abilities, yet you rely on us too much. I keep wondering—if one day you discovered that we didn't exist at all, what would you do then?"

I fell silent. I had never considered that question. They were my closest friends, my brothers. How could they possibly not exist?

"Dinner's ready."

I didn't know when Xu Qiuyan had come over to stand in front of me. Only then did I come back to my senses.

"That person left?" she asked.

I nodded. "He left."

"Oh. Go wash your hands and eat." She didn't ask anything else.

While we ate, I told her about Gu Song. Xie Yi had said that we would be partners from now on, so this concerned her too.

She listened carefully without interrupting.

Only after I finished did she speak. "What do you think?"

I froze. I really had no opinion. I felt Duan Hongbin should handle this matter; he was the expert, while I was nothing.

Seeing my expression, she smiled. "Don't rush. Take it slowly. We'll find a way. Oh, right—I want to take you to meet someone."

Her thoughts had quickly jumped to something else, but I was curious who she wanted me to meet.

I believed it had to be someone I knew too. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to bring me along.

It was already past seven when we left, and the city lights had just begun to come on.

She drove the car Xie Yi had left behind. I sat beside her, somewhat nervous. It was my first time riding in a car she was driving. I felt she drove even more wildly than Xie Yi, and I knew she didn't have a driver's license.

"Slow down!" I warned her.

She merely smiled at me, then stepped on the gas again. The car went even faster than before. I quickly grabbed the handhold, shut my mouth, and said nothing more.

When had this girl become so wild? Was this still the Xu Qiuyan I knew?

I suddenly remembered what she had told me: she was the same as me. Could it be that, at this moment, she wasn't herself?