Little Bug Flies, In Dreams

Actually, I don't even understand myself.

I often think about one question: who am I?

Am I Jiang Xiaobai, or Eccentric Song, or Duan Hongbin, or Chu Ge?

I am Jiang Xiaobai—at least, I've always firmly believed that I am Jiang Xiaobai. My father is Jiang Chengyue, my mother is Chen Fang. My father is a bus driver, my mother is a nurse. Our home is at Building Number Two, Unit Two, Fourth Floor, Green Garden Residential Area, Qiao City.

But the truth isn't like that at all. Green Garden Residential Area is nothing but a half-finished building. My home isn't there, yet that place somehow carries nearly ten years of my memories.

And Eccentric Song—Xie Yi was right that he doesn't truly exist. But there's one thing Xie Yi got wrong: he wasn't something I imagined. At certain times, he is me, and I am him. More often than not, we're indistinguishable. Besides him, there are two others: Duan Hongbin and Chu Ge. The four of us are one entity, forever sharing glory and loss alike.

It's just that Duan Hongbin is too lazy, and Chu Ge's temperament is too indifferent. They rarely show themselves, but I know that whenever I need them, they'll always stand by my side.

Xie Yi brought me to the Second Provincial Hospital. He told me Uncle Long and Aunt Qin were here. Their condition wasn't good—they had lost consciousness, what we commonly call vegetative. Also, Xu Qiuyan was here.

"Do you know what hospital this is?" Xie Yi, walking ahead, suddenly turned his head to look at me.

I nodded. "This is the best psychiatric hospital in the province."

Xie Yi smiled. His smile was a little eerie. I knew what he was thinking. I said coldly, "I don't have multiple personality disorder. I know my own condition, so don't look at me with those eyes."

The smile on his face grew wider. "No mental patient ever admits they're mentally ill."

I stopped in my tracks. "What do you want? Do you want to lock me up in this place too?"

Xie Yi shrugged. "I'm not that bored. Whether you're mentally ill or not has nothing to do with me. My task is just to find out what happened at the Little Ancestral Hall Entrance ten years ago. If possible, lend those people a hand. To be honest, even though I'm curious about you, I'm not someone who likes to meddle. So rest assured, you're safe with me."

I let out a cold laugh and said nothing more.

After that, neither of us spoke again. He led me up to the thirteenth floor of the inpatient building. When we got out of the elevator, I saw two men in black suits standing at the elevator entrance. Xie Yi nodded at them, but their gazes fell on me.

"This entire floor only houses the three of them."

I knew the three Xie Yi meant were Uncle Long, Aunt Qin, and Xu Qiuyan.

He first took me to Uncle Long's ward.

The person lying on the hospital bed was indeed Uncle Long, but he looked as if he were fast asleep.

Compared to ten years ago, he had hardly changed at all—still the same.

"All his vital signs are normal, but he keeps sleeping like this, unable to wake up." Xie Yi raised an eyebrow as he spoke, then suddenly asked me, "Do you believe in ghosts and gods in this world?"

"I do," I replied.

Xie Yi seemed a little surprised. "I thought you'd be an atheist."

I asked back, "Why?"

"Most people who study philosophy are atheists."

I smiled. It seemed he didn't know that philosophy includes not only materialism but also idealism, and that many early philosophical thoughts were idealistic.

But I didn't say much. I didn't think it was necessary to explain to him.

"Since you believe in ghosts and gods, that makes things easier. Let me put it this way: when we found him and Qin Yueying, they were already like this. The doctors said they didn't know why they'd become vegetative, but in my opinion, the reason they're like this is because they've lost their souls."

Xie Yi stared straight at me as he spoke.

"That's right, they really have lost their souls. The three hun souls are gone, but the seven po souls remain." A lazy voice sounded in my ear. I turned my head and saw Duan Hongbin slouching against a nearby hospital bed, yawning as he spoke.

"Can they be retrieved?" I asked.

As I spoke, I noticed Xie Yi instinctively look around, then follow my gaze to the bed beside him. I coughed. "His name is Duan Hongbin. He's also my close buddy."

Xie Yi nodded thoughtfully.

Duan Hongbin glanced at Xie Yi too. "What's lost can naturally be retrieved. But if it wasn't lost on its own and instead was taken and sealed away, then getting it back will take some effort."

I looked at Xie Yi. "Did you hear that?"

Xie Yi shook his head and smiled bitterly. "What did he say?"

"He said Uncle Long's soul wasn't lost—it was sealed away by someone."

Surprise showed on Xie Yi's face. I ignored him and turned to Duan Hongbin. "When I was little, Uncle Long and Aunt Qin were very good to me."

Duan Hongbin stretched. "I've been lazy long enough. Looks like I need to get up and loosen my bones. By the way, ask him if he's heard of the 'Soul Guiding Incantation'?"

Soul Guiding Incantation? What's that?

Though puzzled, I still asked Xie Yi. When Xie Yi heard me say "Soul Guiding Incantation," his face was full of shock. "How do you know about that?"

I shook my head and looked at Duan Hongbin. Xie Yi immediately understood—it was Duan Hongbin who had said it.

Xie Yi took a deep breath. "I thought about using the 'Soul Guiding Incantation' too. Two months ago, I went to the Jiangxi Lu Family, but the Lu family told me the 'Soul Guiding Incantation' was missing. Because of that, Lu Laoda, who was in charge of guarding it, almost got beaten to death by Old Man Lu."

I looked at Duan Hongbin. Duan Hongbin's face was calm. "I have a way to find that thing, but it'll take some time. Also, I need his help." He pointed at Xie Yi. I relayed his words to Xie Yi, and Xie Yi immediately nodded in agreement—as long as they could find the "Soul Guiding Incantation," Uncle Long and the others could be saved.

"Where to look, how to look, what preparations are needed?" Xie Yi asked me. How could I answer that? I had to look at Duan Hongbin again. Duan Hongbin picked his ear. "He's already got a plan in mind. He's just testing you. Don't bother with him."

With that, he vanished.

Xie Yi kept staring at me, waiting for my answer.

"He said you already have a plan in mind."

Xie Yi's eyes went wide. He looked back toward the hospital bed. I told him Duan Hongbin was already gone.

"I'm starting to understand now why you were the only one who didn't get hurt." Xie Yi sighed as he spoke.

I didn't answer. I walked over to Uncle Long's bedside and stood there quietly, watching. After about two minutes, I said I wanted to see Xu Qiuyan.

I didn't go back to look at Aunt Qin. She was probably in the same state as Uncle Long—seeing her would be pointless. So I asked to see Xu Qiuyan instead.

When Xie Yi led me to the door of the room at the end of the hallway, I could already hear a children's song coming from inside.

"The dark sky hangs low, bright stars follow each other, little bugs fly, little bugs fly, who are you missing..."

For some reason, hearing that song made my heart clench. It was her favorite song. I liked it too. I remember when I was little, I often begged her to sing it for me. Every time she sang it, she was so absorbed that anyone listening would find their eyes growing wet.

Right now, my eyes felt a little dry too. Ten years had passed, but this feeling in my heart had never changed.

I reached out and gently pushed open the door to the room.

She had grown into a young woman. She had always been pretty, but now she was even more beautiful. Even wearing a hospital gown couldn't hide her graceful figure. She was singing and dancing at the same time.

She sang well, and she danced well too. She was so absorbed that she didn't even notice Xie Yi and me arriving.

I stopped in my tracks and stood there quietly, appreciating her singing and her dancing. The scene was so beautiful that I couldn't bear to disturb it.

I started humming along softly.

"Little bugs fly, flowers sleep, only pairs make it beautiful. Not afraid of the dark, only afraid of a broken heart. No matter if tired or not, no matter north or south."

Maybe my humming startled her, or maybe the song ended and she stepped out of her performance. She stopped, standing there looking at me. Her gaze was still so clear, that look so familiar.

"Xiaobai!" A smile spread across Xu Qiuyan's face, and then she rushed toward me. I didn't dodge; instead, I embraced her.

After a few seconds, we pulled apart. She seemed a little shy, her face reddening as she lowered her head.

"You can still recognize me." Ten years had passed, and I was no longer the same person I used to be.

She nodded. "I've seen what you look like now."

"Oh?" Hearing that surprised me.

"Yes. I've dreamed of you many times, and you looked just like this."