Batman's Kidney Crisis

Schiller's serious psychological counseling session with Gordon ended the instant Bruce opened the door.

The three of them stared at one another. Schiller asked, "Well, Mr. Wayne, didn't I say you had no counseling time left this week? Why didn't you call ahead to ask whether the Psychological Counseling Room had an appointment?"

Bruce was a little embarrassed too. He truly hadn't expected Gordon to be there; he had only come to deliver an invitation to Schiller. Bruce knew that his identity with Gordon had most likely been exposed, but he also knew that Gordon hadn't sought him out or gone to Wayne Manor to find Bruce. That meant Gordon didn't actually trust Batman.

That left Bruce somewhat dejected. He knew Gordon was truly a good cop, yet this rare breath of fresh air in the Gotham Police Department didn't trust him and even harbored some inexplicable hostility toward him. Bruce knew Batman had to do more—do things that were genuinely useful—before that could change.

Schiller said, "It seems even God wants us to form an alliance. Since everyone is here, why don't we have an open and honest talk?"

"We all know what happened that night. I know none of the three of us completely trusts the others, but that doesn't matter. We can still temporarily unite around a common goal—for example, putting my colleague, Dr. Jonathan, the man who made the Fear Gas, behind bars."

Gordon knew he had nothing left to hide. If this matter couldn't be resolved and his superior or the Director of the Police Department discovered that he was secretly investigating someone trying to hire Jonathan, he would be dead for sure. Whether it was Schiller or Bruce, Gordon could only hope they were at least neutral parties. Even if they couldn't help him, they could at least offer some advice.

Frowning, Gordon said, "The situation is definitely worse than you imagine. Victor... that is, the current Police Director, was once charged with selling high-concentration sedatives, but he was never convicted. Instead, he kept climbing the ranks. Some people suspect Sal is backing him, but nobody has proof. My immediate superior, Lantolos—I once saw him entering and leaving a club run by the Red Crow Gang. But these old cops are too cunning. No one can catch them in the act."

Schiller sighed. He knew Gordon had still spared the Gotham Police Department some dignity. From top to bottom, Gotham City's Police Department was practically the gangsters' claws and fangs. Even the kindest cops merely took gang money in exchange for doing a little less work.

Schiller asked, "Do you know Harvey? Harvey Bullock."

Gordon frowned in thought, then said, "You mean that fat guy in Logistics who smokes and drinks? What about him? You know him?"

Harvey Bullock had been portrayed in some Batman comics as a sloppy, smoking, drunken fat man, so Gordon wasn't wrong. But in most comic settings, he was a good cop who disguised himself as a bad one. He appeared to be in league with the gangs, but secretly helped Gordon. In one comic, he had even joined forces with Gordon to defeat Joker before Batman ever got involved.

Schiller said, "You know I've worked with police departments in several cities. I heard he attended the police academy in Star City. An old Metropolis cop once mentioned him to me. He said Harvey wanted very much to be a good cop, but he had suffered retaliation because of it. Left with no choice, he used a slovenly appearance as a disguise and even deliberately associated with gangsters to find himself a protective umbrella."

"You think he's trustworthy?" Gordon asked.

Bruce cut in, "You can't keep fighting alone in the Gotham Police Department. If you don't have even one ally there, you have almost no chance of bringing down your superior and the Police Director, much less the gangs behind them."

"I think you can try contacting Harvey, but don't tell him everything. I believe he must be watching this case too. If he really is trustworthy, perhaps he'll secretly offer you some help. The two of you can operate one in the open and one in the shadows. At the very least, you can cause your superior plenty of trouble."

Gordon said, "I'll ask him."

Bruce said, "As for your Police Director, I'll investigate him. Naturally, under the other identity you know about."

Bruce had never intended to hide it from Gordon in the first place, because he knew it would be nearly impossible to gain the help of a cop within the Police Department without revealing his identity.

"And the gangs..." Schiller said. "Whether it's Sal or the Red Crow Gang you mentioned, I can take a look myself."

The two men stared at Schiller at the same time. Gordon hesitantly said, "Professor, I know you've traveled through many cities, but I have to remind you that Gotham's gangs are unlike those in any other city. They are vicious beasts, completely unconcerned with law or morality—a pack of exceptionally savage wolves..."

"Yes, which is exactly why I have to go now. You know, if I wait another two months, Gotham University will be holding final exams. Then I won't have nearly as much time."

Schiller glanced at Bruce and continued, "After all, many students here would rather go fool around in nightclubs while it's still light out than put a little more thought into studying."

Bruce awkwardly rubbed his nose. Gordon looked him up and down and said, "Though I'm not much older than you, I still have to remind you: if you truly intend to keep being that tights-wearing freak, you'd better rein in your private life. Half the beautiful women in Gotham City have been in your bed. Do you think there might be a few Black Widows among them?"

Bruce perfunctorily replied, "All right, I'll be careful. Thanks for the reminder."

Bruce's reputation as a ladies' man was known throughout Gotham City. It had to be admitted that even at eighteen, Bruce was devastatingly handsome. Though he had not yet developed that weathered air, his looks alone were enough to capture the hearts of countless women. Gotham's entertainment papers printed gossip about him almost every day, and Bruce's female companion in the photographs was never the same twice.

Schiller wasn't especially worried that Bruce would be assassinated by some gangster's mistress. What worried him more was Bruce's kidneys. He felt that even Batman, if he kept this up, would eventually need kidney tonic.

Unfortunately, the moment Bruce returned to Wayne Manor, his old butler Alfred told him, "I took the liberty of canceling your date tonight, because the results of your last physical examination were truly not encouraging..."

Bruce froze. Thinking of Gordon and Schiller's rather strange looks earlier that day, he awkwardly coughed and said, "Cancel all my evening dates this month."

Alfred paused, then his expression gradually turned strange. He said, "Master, you invited Miss Christine to dinner two months ago. Are you certain you want to cancel her invitation as well?"

Bruce waved a hand. "Of course. I don't have time to date them right now anyway."

Alfred's expression became even stranger. After hesitating, he said, "If there has been any change in your sexual orientation, I hope you will notify your loyal butler at the earliest opportunity..."

Bruce covered his forehead. "I need to go out and investigate something over the next few nights... Fine, don't cancel my date with Miss Christine. She really is sexy and charming."

After Alfred left, Bruce discovered that his phone was ringing. It was actually a call from Schiller.

He answered it, and Schiller said, "You have a date with Christine, captain of the Nightingale Football Team Cheerleading Squad?"

Bruce was startled. Did Schiller really have telepathy?

But he quickly realized he was overthinking it. Schiller said, "She bragged to her sisters that she had hooked Little Wayne, but she disappeared two days after saying that. Her sisters reported it to the school, and Anna from Human Resources asked me to contact you..."

"I haven't dated her yet," Bruce said. "Our date is scheduled for two weeks from now. You know, my... schedule is rather full."

"So her disappearance has nothing to do with you? That's strange."

Schiller said, "Human Resources told me that Christine knows she's beautiful and is therefore very cautious. She never leaves the school unless necessary. She is about to graduate, yet she has now disappeared."

Bruce grew alert. "Could it be related to Jonathan's case? Was Jonathan close with her?"

"Of course not. Why would a girl like that be close with Jonathan? She's a beautiful social butterfly, while Jonathan shuts himself in his office all day."

Schiller said, "All right, Bruce, you have something new to do now. Hurry up and find your future date, preferably before your date is due."

"But I..."

"The Nightingale team is Gotham University's calling card. The cheerleading captain's disappearance has hit them hard. The National League Playoffs begin in two weeks. If you can't find her, I'll fail you."

"Hey, Professor, you can't... Hello? Hello?"

Bruce helplessly put down the phone, then personally called the school. Only then did he learn that Christine was very popular in the cheerleading squad. Quite a few girls had gone to the school demanding action. Without their captain, they couldn't rehearse their routines, which had also left the Football Team players dissatisfied.

It so happened that Jonathan had been arrested, and the entire school was busy trying to suppress the fallout. No one had time, so Schiller, the new professor, had been drafted into service.

And then Batman had been drafted into service by Schiller.

Bruce began to think. A beautiful girl had disappeared in Gotham; the likely outcome hardly required thought. But from what Schiller had said, Miss Christine was a very cautious person who rarely left the school. She had disappeared on Gotham University's campus.

It was difficult not to suspect a connection to Jonathan's case.

Herding one sheep was herding, and herding two was the same. Bruce paid no attention whatsoever to Schiller's utterly unthreatening threat. When had Bruce ever cared about failing a class?

Other than psychology, which he attended out of respect for Schiller, he spent his other class hours either drinking in bars or fooling around.

At that thought, Bruce remembered something Schiller had just said. Christine had mentioned to others that she was about to date him?

Could that have something to do with her disappearance?