Experience Against the Fatui Executives

"Yes, there's no way Morax would be out of Mora..."

Zhongli felt a bit embarrassed under Hu Tao's gaze. "Director Hu, I'll try to bring Mora with me from now on."

Hu Tao: "That's good then..."

Before Hu Tao could finish her sentence, someone shouted from outside the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's door.

"Director Hu, Mr. Zhongli bought an antique from our shop last month and said to put it on the parlor's tab."

"Director Hu, there's our bill too."

"Director Hu..."

Hu Tao fell silent...

A few seconds later, a roar echoed through the parlor: "Zhongli!!!"

The video continued.

Furina was struggling to hold back her laughter. "What do I do! I think it's hilarious too, what do I do, can I laugh?"

"I see," Zhongli in the video also caught the joke. "This is a pun on 'no more bread' and 'no Mora.'"

"It also alludes to my awkward situation as the God of Precious Metals having no Mora. Quite amusing."

[Dori: What! Morax, the God of Wealth, has no Mora? That can't be real!] [Zhongli: By common logic, I am now 'the mortal Zhongli,' not the Geo Archon Morax.] [Venti: So do you have Mora?] [Zhongli: ...]

Though Zhongli said nothing, those six dots seemed to say plenty...

[Dori: No~ My faith is shattered!]

"Huh? Why is the person involved explaining the joke herself!"

The five-hundred-year-old silly Furina felt she couldn't keep up with her seniors' thought processes.

"No! It's not funny once you explain it!"

Despite her inner turmoil, Furina's five hundred years of acting kept her face perfectly composed.

"Pfft hehehe..." Ei, sitting next to Furina, suddenly burst out laughing. "I see, now that you've explained it, I know how to laugh."

"Huh!?"

Furina finally felt overwhelmed by the thought processes of her two seniors.

Marvika, also a human, helplessly rubbed her forehead and complained, "What kind of gathering am I at..."

[Theresa: Yeah, once the person involved explains the joke, it really isn't funny anymore.] [Tighnari: Same here...]

Another smooth transition.

Zhongli: "Speaking of which, Natlan has opened up."

Hearing her nation's name, Marvika perked up. "Oh, yes, everyone's welcome to visit."

"I heard that in Natlan, the 'Pyro Archon' is an inheritable title chosen from among the people." Hearing about Natlan, Nahida instinctively shared the information she'd gleaned from the World Tree.

"That's right, so I'm human too." Marvika didn't mind other gods knowing she was human, so she admitted it openly.

"Oh! Really?"

Discovering there was another human among the gods, Furina felt a surge of goodwill toward Marvika.

"Here, have some Rabbit Mash."

Seeing Furina suddenly become so warm, Marvika awkwardly accepted the Rabbit Mash from her hand.

"Uh... Thanks... Thanks..."

Nahida noticed her discomfort and, thinking Marvika might be embarrassed about being human—especially since she was the shortest-reigning god among them—kindly offered, "Everyone here has been through it. We can offer you some advice?"

Not wanting to waste her senior's kindness, Marvika got straight to the point. "Speaking of which, you've all dealt with the Fatui Executives, right?"

"I fought the First Seat, 'The Captain.' He's a formidable opponent. Could you share your experiences in battle?"

At the mention of the Executives, Furina immediately recalled the night she was assassinated:

What do I do, what do I say! Do I admit I was scared to tears by a Fatui Executive that night? Or that I was sweating all over while negotiating with one? No, no, that's too embarrassing...

(Though in the story, Furina doesn't know The Knave was her would-be assassin that night, this Furina has already finished the Fontaine storyline. So it's perfectly reasonable for Neuvillette or us to have told her, right?)

Furina guiltily averted her eyes and nervously summed up her "battle experience"...

"Oh, Executives, uh... I talked to one."

Seeing the Hydro Archon speak first, the other gods shared their experiences too.

Zhongli recalled his second wallet and summarized his experience:

"I've tricked one."

Ei also recalled an Executive who had been reduced to ashes by her Shogun and summed it up:

"I've cut one down."

The young Dendro Archon, Nahida, likewise recalled her confrontation with the most selfish segment of The Doctor:

"I've threatened one."

Finally, only Venti was left to share. He rubbed his forehead with a face full of black lines—clearly, he remembered having his heart ripped out. How could he put that? He couldn't exactly say he'd been beaten, could he? Even if he'd held back, it was still too embarrassing. In the end, he could only manage:

"...I've had one."

Listening to her predecessors' "practical experiences," Marvika gained a new perspective on the diversity of gods and the Fatui. "...They're all that different to deal with?"

[Tartaglia: Wait, that "tricked one" isn't me, is it?]

[Zhongli: ...]

[Hu Tao: So it was you!]

[Hu Tao: You're truly a great benefactor to our Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.]

After venting her anger earlier, Hu Tao had taken a closer look at Zhongli's bill and found it was only half the usual amount!

After asking Zhongli, she learned that he had met a friend from Snezhnaya in the middle of last month, and that friend had voluntarily covered his expenses, which was why the bill was only half this time.

[Hu Tao: @Tartaglia, if you ever customize our Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's services in the future, This Hall Master will definitely give you a fifty percent discount.]

[Tartaglia: Thanks, but I don't need that for now.]

[Yae Miko: More than that, I'm curious which Executive got cut down by our Lady Shogun...]

[Captain: I recall the one in charge of Inazuma was Scaramouche.]

[Scaramouche: I wouldn't be taken down so easily by that woman.]

[Yae Miko: Oh my, isn't this Kunikuzushi? After all these centuries, I never expected you to still be alive~]

[Scaramouche: You slick-tongued fox! I'll have my revenge on you sooner or later.]

[The Doctor: If I'm not mistaken, the one threatened by the little Dendro Archon would be me.]

[The Doctor: I'm quite curious, though. In theory, the body I had in Sumeru was just a segment—what could threaten a mere slice...]

[Collei: Doctor, you're actually in Sumeru!]

[Collei: Just you wait! I'll kill you!]

[Amber: Collei, calm down!]

[Tighnari: Collei, don't be rash. You're no match for him yet.]

[The Doctor: Heh, judging by your reaction, you must be one of my former experiments? I don't know which experiment you came from, but I look forward to seeing you grow.]