Rubbing the Omnissiah's G-Spot

After his rage subsided, the cultist commander began consoling himself. "It's fine... it's fine... Let them come. Even if those musclebound, simple-minded Imperial lackeys really break through every line of defense and take this elevator, there's still nothing they can do!"

His reasoning was not without merit.

This was not some foolproof device that could be operated by pressing an up or down button. This was the beating heart of the hive city, an industrial marvel running through kilometers of heavy bedrock and plasteel—a supremely complex crystallization of human industry from the dark millennium. Its activation sequence was so cumbersome it rivaled a religious ritual, while its internal mechanical structures and energy logic were enough to make any untrained person's brain shut down.

Generally speaking, aside from those Tech-Priests who had fused their bodies with machinery, no one knew exactly how to operate this behemoth.

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Although the Players had generally received higher education on twenty-first-century Earth, compulsory education on Earth obviously had not taught them how to operate a giant Gothic-style hive-city elevator. Barring any surprises, they could only remain trapped inside and be drowned by the cultists who would arrive later, in this inescapable death trap.

But Players always had Player methods. They had already created enough impossible miracles; one more would make no difference.

Boom—!

The heavy alloy door to the control room caved inward with a thunderous crash, then was kicked clean off by brute force, spinning through the air before smashing into the opposite wall.

The cultist commander snatched an old Bolt Pistol from beneath the desk, his face twisted viciously. He thought that even if he died, he could at least take one enemy down with him. But when he looked up and saw the enormous figure blocking the entire doorway, the viciousness on his face froze instantly. Then, with sudden relief, he was smashed into a paste against the wall by a single blow.

Big Eagle Cop shook the bits of flesh from his club, squeezed his huge body into the control room, and swept his gaze around. After confirming there were no more enemies, he stomped over to the Elevator Console covered in flashing runes and complex gauges.

In his Player interface, a clear [Activate] prompt floated over a huge button at the very core of the console. Without the slightest hesitation, he extended his fan-sized hand and decisively pressed it.

Then, from the other Players' perspective, an utterly bizarre scene unfolded.

The Ogryn named Big Eagle Cop stood before the console, which looked incomprehensibly sophisticated. His enormous, thick fingers moved with extreme agility and precision completely at odds with his size, rapidly making adjustments across the glowing panel. At times he turned a delicate dial; at others, he pressed several flashing runes. The entire process flowed as smoothly as water, brimming with technical elegance.

The fact that he himself was an Ogryn made the scene incredibly surreal...

"An Ogryn who can operate a control console? Seriously?" one Player finally cracked.

"I suggest Tzeentch get over here right now, promote him directly to Chosen, and have him squeeze Kairos out of his position overnight," JK said solemnly from the side.

Just then, however, a soft hum— sounded. The console before Big Eagle Cop flashed red, and the sequence of runes that had just lit up instantly went dark. The entire activation process came to an abrupt halt.

Big Eagle Cop slapped his massive head in frustration, producing a dull thump.

"What the hell! Why's there a minigame just for pressing a button?!"

The room fell silent for a second, then the others' interest was immediately piqued.

"A minigame?"

"What kind of minigame? Let us try it too."

Big Eagle Cop promptly stepped aside. A quick-eyed Player immediately squeezed forward, took over the console, and eagerly prepared to play.

The moment he placed his hand on the control panel, a Holographic Projection unfolded before him.

At the center of the projection was a circle emitting soft white light. Inside it floated a bright blue ball that trembled constantly, as though it possessed a life of its own. A progress bar appeared below the panel, displaying: "Elevator Power Calibration."

The rules were instantly clear: control the ball and keep it within the white circle until the progress bar filled.

The Player took a deep breath and gripped the Virtual Joysticks that had emerged from the panel with both hands. He felt like he had this.

However, the moment the game began, he realized something was wrong. The blue ball's movements had no pattern whatsoever. Sometimes it pulsed steadily like a heartbeat; other times it suddenly twitched violently in one direction like a startled rabbit. He had to focus completely and use incredibly delicate force to correct its position.

Sweat began beading on his forehead as his fingers made millimeter-level adjustments on the joysticks. Several times, the ball nearly touched the edge of the white circle, only for him to pull it back at the last possible moment. The progress bar advanced slowly but steadily... 70%... 80%... 90%...

Victory was in sight!

Just as the progress bar was about to reach 100%, the blue ball suddenly spasmed more violently than ever before and slammed into the inner wall of the white circle.

Bzzzt—!

A piercing electrical sound rang out. The Holographic Projection vanished instantly, and the console once again fell into dead silence.

The Player stared blankly for two seconds before jerking backward, releasing the joysticks with both hands and venting in despair. "Fuck, what kind of anti-human design is this?!"

There was no need to say it: this minigame was naturally Bit's handiwork. Out of kindness, he had removed the impossible requirement of activating the console through real operation, then added a minigame with malicious amusement.

"Move, move, let me try!" Another Player eagerly shoved aside the one who had just failed and confidently took his seat. "It's just a balance-ball game, right? Back in the day, I was—"

Before he could finish, his confidence vanished along with one bizarre sideways drift of the blue ball. A few seconds later, accompanied by the same piercing electrical noise, he too was defeated.

"Fuck, what is this thing?" This Player was dumbfounded as well. He had not even lasted until the progress bar was halfway full.

What followed was a relay race filled with frustration and unwillingness before the console. More than a dozen Players from Seventh Squad took turns, each sitting down with inexplicable confidence that they could do it, then stepping away with bewilderment written all over their faces as if to say, "This isn't scientific."

The news quickly spread, even drawing Players from other squads to watch. The small control room became packed with people, who surrounded the console so tightly that not even water could pass through. It had practically become an offline arcade.

"Left, left! You're going to hit it!"

"Stop shaking! Keep your hands steady!"

"It's over, it's over—another one..."

Amid the overlapping instructions and sighs, one Player after another was killed on their first encounter by the disobedient blue ball. Some tried to find a pattern, only to discover that its movements were completely random. Others attempted to force it into place, only making its resistance even more violent.

At last, under everyone's watchful eyes, JK calmly took his seat before the console. His hands were as steady as rocks. No matter how frantically the blue ball bounced around, a gentle yet unwavering force kept it confined to the center of the white circle. Just as the progress bar was about to fill, he made an adjustment so swift it was almost imperceptible, neutralizing the ball's final violent lunge.

[Power Calibration Complete. Elevator System Activated]

A low, drawn-out hum rang out. Every rune and light on the console lit up at once, radiating a soft white glow. Immediately afterward, a faint but unmistakable vibration began traveling through the floor of the entire underground facility.

Rumble rumble rumble...

The grinding of heavy metal rose from deep within the elevator shaft, as though a steel beast that had slept for centuries was awakening. The emergency light strips along both sides of the passage lit up one after another, outlining the immense elevator platform. Gears meshed, hydraulic pumps pressurized, the energy core hummed... countless industrial sounds converged into a symphony. Finally, the enormous gate large enough for a Leman Russ tank to pass through slowly rose amid a teeth-grating metallic groan.

A relatively "fresh" gust of air from the Mid-hive rushed in, dispersing the filth and scorched stench of the Underhive.

The elevator had started.

And after countless failures, the minigame Bit had created to simulate interaction with precision machinery and test the Players' concentration and fine control earned a nickname steeped in resentment—Rubbing the Omnissiah's G-Spot.