Drunken Xue Pan Babbling About Gifting a Beautiful Concubine

The thunderous hoofbeats gradually faded into the distance, as swift as lightning as when they had come, leaving behind only cudgels scattered across the ground, three crippled horses, and the mournful howl of a beaten curried dog drifting back from afar: "Sun, you bastard, I'll remember this!"

Tsk~

Remember, then.

Sun Shaozong truly did not care about the retaliation of some frivolous young fop.

After all, his handling of the matter today had been proper and courteous. Even if the Chou family elders heard the full story, they would most likely thank him for stepping in and preventing the two families from forging an irreconcilable blood feud.

And even if they did encounter some unreasonable elder, General Feng Tang, the Divine Martial, would handle it. It was not the turn of a junior like him to step forward.

By then, Xue Pan had already helped Feng Ziying untie his bonds. Grinning broadly, he thrust a thumb at Sun Shaozong. "Wonderful, absolutely wonderful! Today, Old Xue has truly had his eyes opened! With skills like yours, Second Brother, if you'd been born in the Later Han Three Kingdoms era, you could definitely have gone toe-to-toe with Lü Bu, the Marquis of Wen!"

Just as Sun Shaozong was about to offer a few modest words, Feng Ziying rubbed his arms and complained, half in jest, "Since Brother had such impressive skills, why didn't you make your move sooner? Why insist on watching us two brothers make fools of ourselves?"

Sun Shaozong smiled and said proudly, "Judging by Chou Yunfei's bruised and swollen face, he'd clearly already suffered at your hands. He looked so pitiful—how could I bear to bully him further?"

Three men against several dozen Soldiers, and that counted as bullying them?!

Feng Ziying was speechless for a moment. But recalling Sun Shaozong's peerlessly valiant display just now, he had to admit that Sun Shaozong deserved to use the word "bully."

"Hahaha! Now that the fight's over, why are we still dawdling outside the door? Come, come, come! Yun'er Girl is probably already tired of waiting!" Xue Pan laughed heartily and strode into Brocade Fragrance Courtyard first, with Sun Shaozong and Feng Ziying following close behind.

They had barely passed through the entrance when several sharp notes rang from the zither strings. Then the melody abruptly soared, like brocade being torn, like crashing waves—complex yet never chaotic, urgent yet never rushed. It was as though blades and spears had erupted across a battlefield, making one's blood surge with excitement!

All three unconsciously halted, listening intently to the vigorous, heroic tune.

Before long, the zither's sound gradually subsided, yet its lingering notes still seemed to circle the rafters, leaving them with endless aftertaste.

Just then, from amid the withered branches and fallen leaves in the Flower garden to their right, a woman said in a sweet voice, "I offer a piece, 'General's Command,' to the three triumphant heroes. I only hope you will not disdain Yun'er's poor skill and let it offend your honored ears."

As she spoke, a woman in white emerged gracefully from the Flower garden, her cloud-like hair piled high and a zither held in her arms. With only a smiling bow, she outshone the return of spring and a hundred flowers blooming in splendor.

Sun Shaozong and Feng Ziying were all right, but Xue Pan's saliva was practically dripping—he had seen Yun'er inside earlier, but the formulaic smile she had worn then was as different from this one as heaven from earth!

"How is that not skillful? It was clearly superb!"

He shouted eagerly, "After hearing your invigorating 'General's Command,' Old Xue could thrust another hundred and eighty times in bed, at the very least!"

This fellow...

He really knew how to ruin the mood!

The scene, beautiful as a painting just moments ago, instantly became incomparably awkward.

Fortunately, Yun'er was not some sheltered, talented young lady, but a courtesan who made her living by selling smiles. Covering her mouth, she barely managed to smooth things over. "Master Xue does love to tease people—there is Wind-Cold outside. Please come in and speak with this little woman."

With that, she led the way ahead, holding the zither in her arms.

Though it was still late winter, her Spring Shirt was thin and light. As she walked, her hips and thighs shifted together, tracing a lovely curve—at times round as the full moon, at times split like a peach, unbearably seductive.

Never mind the others; Xue Pan was truly bewitched. Had Feng Ziying not swiftly grabbed him, he would likely have placed his paw on her and properly sampled the feel of it.

Sun Shaozong was just reflecting that being a famous courtesan was no easy thing—having to wear only a single thin garment and endure the freezing cold in the depths of winter—when a wave of heat suddenly rushed over him. Looking over in surprise, he discovered that hot vapor was rising vigorously from the cracks in the floor at the center of the hall.

Yun'er turned back with a brilliant smile at precisely the right moment and explained to Sun Shaozong, "There is actually a hot spring pool beneath the floor. Since it is somewhat too hot, it has been put to use for heating instead. It has a certain charm of its own."

This should count as a semi-natural underfloor heating system, shouldn't it?

As he was thinking this, two little maids of thirteen or fourteen stepped forward and helped Feng Ziying and Xue Pan remove their outer garments—but when it came to Sun Shaozong, Yun'er Girl personally stepped forward to attend him.

Those pale little hands brushed over Sun Shaozong's body, seemingly intentional yet seemingly not, while even her fingertips trembled faintly. Her lotus-like face was Shy and Charming, brimming with countless captivating charms.

Clearly, after witnessing Sun Shaozong go into "Unparalleled" mode earlier, Yun'er's heart had begun to stir with springtime longing.

"I say, Sister Yun'er, don't tell me you've taken a fancy to our Second Brother Sun?" Xue Pan sidled over again and chuckled. "Then you've set your sights wrong. My Second Brother likes respectable women best, but he isn't too fond of romantic women like you."

Damn it~

This fool really had no sense of the situation!

Even if that truly was what Sun Shaozong thought, there was no need to say it right to her face, was there?

Unable to bear it any longer, Sun Shaozong swung around and smacked the back of his head, scolding, "If you don't know how to speak, then shut your stinking mouth!"

Oddly enough, Xue Pan, a muddleheaded fellow like this, responded well to just that sort of treatment!

After taking Sun Shaozong's slap, not only did he show no anger, he instead grinned stupidly, wearing an absurdly pleased expression that said, My big brother hit me because he treats me like a brother.

Sun Shaozong turned back and smiled at Yun'er, trying to patch things up. "Don't listen to his nonsense. Wasn't Liang Hongyu of the Song Dynasty also born a woman of the dust? I hold her in the highest respect."

Yet Yun'er Girl could not help feeling a pang of gloom at those words.

Though she thought highly of herself, how could she dare compare herself to an extraordinary woman remembered for all eternity like Liang Hongyu?

Thus, she understood that although his words had been tactful, they were also distant—a refusal.

So from then on, she no longer focused solely on Sun Shaozong. Instead, she danced through the social currents with graceful skill, gradually raising the atmosphere of the banquet.

Having just gone through that chaotic brawl, the three men were already somewhat exhilarated to begin with—not to mention that such a beauty was there to accompany their drinking.

In less than half an hour, Feng Ziying and Xue Pan were both drunk as mud.

Feng Ziying swayed as he stripped off his upper garments, revealing the image of a golden roc spreading its wings across his back. He could barely remain standing, yet he stubbornly clamored about performing a sword dance for Sun Shaozong's amusement. Sun Shaozong tried to dissuade him a few times, but seeing that the man could not take in a word, he tossed Feng Ziying's sword into the courtyard and handed him only an empty scabbard.

Feng Ziying hacked about wildly with the scabbard a few times, then suddenly lunged forward and crawled directly beneath Yun'er's table, where he fell into a deep, snoring sleep.

Xue Pan first clapped and laughed uproariously, then collapsed onto the table and began weeping, loudly wailing that all his brothers had special talents, while he alone had no skill to liven things up.

Sun Shaozong tried helplessly to console him, but the fellow seized his thigh and clung to it for dear life, insisting on gifting his beautiful concubine at home to Sun Shaozong for entertainment. Tongue thick with drink, he even began listing all manner of virtues the concubine possessed.

His words were full of obscene talk, so unbearable to hear that he could rival Sun Shaozong's bargain-bin elder brother.

It was Monday again. Shamelessly asking for favorites, recommendations, and rewards.