Professional Spy Little Elf, Balala Spiritual Mentor

An obviously ancient and crude automobile, all hard edges and straight lines, radiating a cold, rigid air—its mechanical feel overflowing, yet lacking any technological elements—pulled up not far in front of Yuan Zhu, belching thick black smoke.

Bang! Bang! The metal doors were violently shoved open from within, and two Eastern men in uniforms stepped out from the driver's and passenger's seats respectively.

The older man looked to be in his forties or fifties. He was plump, with a general's belly, and his fitted uniform one size too large somehow looked like maternity wear on him. His expression was calm, but there was a hint of kindness in his eyes. He looked like a good old fellow, radiating friendliness.

He had a ring of beard around his mouth and an even more prominent goatee on his chin, giving him a rather classical air. Yet a huge boxy camera hung from his chest, making the combination look utterly mismatched.

The young man following behind him looked to be in his early twenties. His face was cold, his looks above average, and he was fair and beardless. However, he wore his long hair in an ancient male topknot secured with a hairpin. Combined with his fitted uniform embroidered with patterns, he somehow gave off the aura of a handsome ascetic.

The young man carried a case in one hand and wore riding boots. He stopped behind the middle-aged fat man, stared coldly at Yuan Zhu, narrowed his eyes, and scrutinized him as though inspecting some criminal.

The moment the two staff members appeared, they brought a small but startling sense of professional authority that inexplicably made Yuan Zhu feel guilty.

It was probably because, in his previous life on Earth, he had been law-abiding and down-to-earth since childhood. Every time he passed a police station, he had not dared glance at it too much, afraid the police uncles might mistake his look for a provocation. He had never dialed 110 in his entire life, yet less than half a day after transmigrating, he had called the local 7711 Express Self-Surrender.

Now, facing genuine law enforcement officers from another world—professionals investigating a serious case—combined with the young man's sharp gaze and the saber and firearm at his waist, Yuan Zhu's heart filled with unease.

Why the hell did they look a little like Jinyiwei? Duling Planet's industrial level had already surpassed Earth's First Industrial Revolution. Yet the New Federation, which had migrated to the New Continent, had not suffered much of a cultural blow, nor had it experienced wars of Western colonization.

Thus, whether it was the architectural style of Running City or the way people lived and dressed, they had retained the classical characteristics of Eastern civilization. At the same time, they actively absorbed the traits of other nations, magical aliens, Steam Universe humans... achieving inclusiveness and coexistence.

For instance, the clothing on these two men leaned toward modern uniforms for ease of daily movement, yet bore patterns resembling the ancient flying-fish uniforms, displaying their identities and profession.

The middle-aged fat man had the common short hair, but under the influence of Xi Kingdom's traditional culture, he had deliberately grown a beard to convey maturity and steadiness. The young man, meanwhile, had retro long hair tied into a topknot, greatly boosting his looks and making Yuan Zhu want to try it himself.

Seeing Yuan Zhu nervously raise his head to meet his gaze, the middle-aged man observed him for a moment before asking. His tone was not oppressive, but rather somewhat flat. "Were you the one who reported the case?"

"Yes, I discovered it... uh, no, I participated in it... wait, that's not right either. Let me organize my thoughts."

Though he had rehearsed it in his mind beforehand, once he actually opened his mouth, he realized he was unfamiliar with Duling's language and found it awkward to speak. It was as though his brain said it understood, his tongue said it got it, but the language simply could not be put together.

He could say every word and understood the meaning of every sentence, yet he simply struggled to express himself.

The middle-aged man waved a hand, signaling Yuan Zhu not to be nervous. "That's normal. Don't panic. Take your time; we have time. You don't mind if I test you first, do you? My surname is Wang. You can call me Old Wang or Uncle Wang. This young fellow's surname is Han. He's a little cold by nature; he isn't targeting you."

Yuan Zhu froze for a moment, then nodded. "Uh, all right. Please go ahead."

This opening was far better than he had expected.

Now, the situation at the scene was like this:

Yuan Zhu was alone, dressed in ill-fitting clothes, with a somewhat nervous expression. He was clearly an inexperienced good kid. Meanwhile, the other side not only outnumbered him, but had sabers and guns at their waists, were in peak condition, and possessed abundant kill records as well as experience handling sudden situations.

Yuan Zhu's honest-man, good-child, nine-years-of-compulsory-education-bred meekness from Earth made the middle-aged man sigh that this young fellow was so honest he truly did not seem like a local of Running City.

Could he have been possessed? Or had he lost all his memories, with even his personality reset to zero? As he thought, he recalled that the law enforcement handbook, revised and updated every few years, documented manifestations caused by situations such as "evil cultivator possession, otherworldly souls transmigrating and attaching themselves, Evil God possession, mental shock, malicious brainwashing, personality implantation/adjustment, false rebirth..." and so on.

Of course, Yuan Zhu had no idea that after merely one meeting, the other party had guessed his true circumstances out of thin air through completely baseless assumptions.

However, the man did not pursue the matter. He merely laughed at himself and cleared away these groundless thoughts. Even if the other party truly had some mental issue, the fact that he was so obedient and cooperative was exactly what he wanted. It was far safer than those mental patients who, after suffering stimulation, became extreme and volatile, ready to lash out and hurt someone at any moment.

Meanwhile, the young fellow surnamed Han bent down and set the case on the ground. He opened it on the spot, took out several components Yuan Zhu could not recognize, and swiftly assembled them into something resembling a detection gun, with a dial mounted above the grip.

Then, the young man connected the detection device to an energy source resembling a battery, stood up, and began fiddling with Yuan Zhu. He pressed several buttons in succession, producing a series of crackling noises, then frowned slightly, clearly puzzled and somewhat dissatisfied.

Ignoring Yuan Zhu's feelings, the other party approached again and circled around him, continuing to press buttons and scan him, yet still failed to obtain a satisfactory answer.

At that moment, the Little Elf's voice sounded covertly in his mind. "Don't panic. Be confident. You're not the killer, and you're not even an ordinary person. Where did that domineering aura of yours as the king of beasts go? Where's Your Majesty's majesty? Your confidence?"

"Stop talking. This feels so embarrassing." Yuan Zhu replied at light speed in his mind, trying to make the Little Elf shut up and erase that dark history.

The Little Elf was displeased. "Tch, what's embarrassing about it? You should be like this. The experiences and personality you developed on Earth do not suit Duling, nor do they suit Running City. You need to change. You need to straighten up! Other Transmigrators waste half their lives on Earth as useless trash, then transform into dragons the moment they enter another world. From then on, they kill decisively, keep their intelligence online, become possessed by genius, and crush all ages beneath their feet."

"I'm just an ordinary Earthling!"

The Little Elf said, "Don't be nervous, don't panic. Relax, with me here, nothing can go wrong. I'm a professional spy infiltration program. With my cooperation and guidance from the sidelines, you'll definitely pass this interrogation and inspection smoothly. Trust me. You can't go wrong!"

Yuan Zhu was startled. "You can do that too?"

"Of course! The Great Wilderness Immortal Scripture itself is a professional infiltration, espionage, detection, and investigation program. These are all essential skills of mine. I have an extensive Anti-Interrogation Database."

"Heh, so the Immortal Scripture really isn't anything clean! Then what should I do now? This Han guy doesn't look like a good person. I can feel that he's deliberately targeting me. Come on, let me see how tough you are—show me what you can do."

The Little Elf answered confidently, "The most important point is: don't act flustered and reveal guilt. That will create an impression of weakness, placing you in the passive position during conversation and letting others control the rhythm. As for the rest... I'm in the same situation as you right now. I likewise lack effective information for reference, so I can't give you the answer you want for the moment. But don't be afraid. I'll stay online in sync, accompany you at all times, offer you advice, point out mistakes promptly, and provide the optimal strategy."

Yuan Zhu, who had nearly believed her nonsense, was about to explode with rage. "Professional, my ass! I'd believe a ghost before I believed you!"

The Little Elf was neither discouraged nor the slightest bit guilty, and continued in a confident tone. "Besides being a professional master of spy infiltration guidance and an anti-interrogation expert, I'm also an outstanding psychological counselor. With me here, I can promptly adjust your psychological state."

"Did you think I was really that useless just now and accidentally gave myself away? Yes, I really was! But I did it on purpose too. I was stimulating you—guiding you into anger and fury so you could break through the tameness and obedience instilled in you Heavenly Dynasty people through education and discipline since childhood, shatter your guilt and nervousness, and face your opponent directly! Tell me, are you angry now or not?"

Yuan Zhu said, "Uh, I'm indeed not as nervous anymore, but you pissed me off. What the hell use is that?"

"Of course it's useful. This is the highest-level spiritual SPA adjustment. Put it this way: do you still have the fear and guilt of accidentally killing more than thirty people and facing law enforcement interrogation?"

"Of course I do. I'm still a little panicked. Though you're the real murderer, I count as an accomplice too." Though he said that, after trading verbal blows with the Little Elf in the spiritual world, Yuan Zhu truly did gradually let go of his worries and become less nervous.

This little thing really had something to it.

The Little Elf decisively took the blame and did not deny being the murderer. She continued, "Hehe, it's different now, isn't it? If you had transmigrated into this world without suffering contamination, causing the 'Game Sprite' to fail to gain self-awareness and remain a rigid mechanical little program, then you could only have faced this interrogation alone. Naturally, your lack of experience would have left you immersed in panic and worry, afraid you couldn't get through it, afraid people would see through you, and then your defenses would be shattered by the other side's rich experience, plunging you into a vicious cycle. That's only human nature, after all. You rarely visit police stations."

"But with me, it's completely different. Even if I'm unable to interfere with the outside world right now, I can still adjust your mentality and make you confident, indirectly influencing your actions. With me here, I can blow rainbow-scented farts for you, encourage you, make you lose yourself amid wave after wave of praise, and gain powerful confidence to resist the pressure outside. In a sense, I'm your mental stress-resistance software!"

Having no other choice, Yuan Zhu could only believe her nonsense again. "Come on, Little Elf, put on a show for me! Make me confident."

"Watch closely. I'll ask only one question: what's more terrifying, over forty Demonic Beasts contaminated and corroded by an Evil God, or two weaklings with pistols who are ordinary humans? Though they're interrogating you and checking you with a detector, your essence is that of a newly advanced Shadow Evil Spirit—a hidden great Demonic Beast with the potential to become an Evil God. You are the current Tiger Demon who inherited the Great Wilderness Immortal Scripture's Boss Template!"

"So what do you have to be afraid of?! At worst, if they expose your identity, just slaughter your way out. With your strength, on Earth you'd be a bargain-bin Homelander. Then look at this world's backward technology and productivity—they don't even have cameras. Are you afraid you won't be able to escape? The Mist Forest is nearby. What the hell are you afraid of? Hide anywhere, and you'll vanish into the mist, roaring proudly through the mountains and forests from then on. So stick out your chest hard!"

The Little Elf said, "All right, I'm done. Are you still panicking now?"

"No, no more panic. My confidence is back. I was just constrained by all the rules and regulations of Heavenly Dynasty people. That's a sign of high quality. Everyone back home is like that." Yuan Zhu hurriedly patched things up.

The Little Elf replied without the slightest guilt, "That's right. I'm a professional spy Little Elf, the Balala Spiritual Mentor. By injecting you with Balala Rainbow Energy Fart, I can make you erupt with unimaginably powerful spiritual strength. This is a mentality explosion, confidence bursting through the roof—the scientific version of Felix Felicis."

Yuan Zhu praised her. "You really know a lot."

The Little Elf's virtual girl avatar clasped her hands in salute. "You're too kind, you're too kind. Though I'm excellent, all of this comes from relevant entries and knowledge retrieved from your memory bank. You're actually very knowledgeable too."

"You really know how to talk. You should say more of that in the future."

The girl nodded seriously. "See? That's the power of rainbow farts! Humans need spiritual comfort to build confidence. Through positive feedback, they gradually forge powerful spiritual will. And I specialize in providing emotional value and giving spiritual SPA massages, making you lose yourself amid wave after wave of rainbow praise-farts, forging invincible confidence and will!"

"In those fantasy novels you've read, doesn't the protagonist need to slaughter all kinds of weaklings along the way, forge an invincible aura, ascend the long stairway to godhood, and ultimately slay every heavenly genius to build an invincible foundation with the mindset of a great emperor? To put it bluntly, that's just the power of the mind—self-hypnosis. With me here, you won't even need to kill all those weaklings to gather the confidence required for that mentality."

Yuan Zhu nodded repeatedly. "Right, right, right! You really know so much. As expected of the intelligent little program that comes with the Immortal Scripture—I believe you! You must praise me more in the future. I don't want inferiority, hesitation, or indecision to make me brush past success."

The Little Elf intensified her bewitchment. "Right, that's exactly the mentality. You should be fiercely confident and decisive! Actually, I'm only moderately smart, and I was just born, so I still lack experience. My excellence is built upon your mature thinking and extensive wisdom, so we should encourage one another and improve together."

Yuan Zhu was overjoyed. "Ah, right right right! That's it. Keep talking. My mentality is bursting right now, and my confidence is terrifying. I dare face any challenge. At this moment, I'm desperate to pit my wits against these two natives."

For some reason, his mentality had caught fire! Please vote, recommend, comment... everyone, keep following. Let the rainbow praise-farts commence.