Youth was a lie, and a sin.
Those who praised youth often deceived themselves and everyone around them. They viewed everything in their circumstances positively.
Even if they committed some unforgivable mistake, they saw it as a symbol of youth and carved it into a page of their memories.
For example, if they committed crimes like theft or joined a biker gang, they called it "youthful recklessness." If they failed an exam, they argued that school was not a place for mindless studying.
As long as they waved the banner of youth, they could twist even the most ordinary logic and social conventions. To them, lies, secrets, sins, and even failure were merely seasonings for youth.
Furthermore, they could find something special in those sins and failures.
Therefore, all of their failures counted as part of youth.
But other people's failures did not count as youth. They were simply failures.
If failure was a symbol of youth, then weren't people who could not make friends standing at the very pinnacle of youth?
However, they would not think so.
To put it bluntly, they only chose interpretations that benefited themselves.
Wasn't that already deception?
Whether it was lying, deceiving, concealing, or fraud, all of it deserved condemnation.
They were sinful.
Conversely, those who did not praise youth were true justice.
The conclusion was:
Normies, just explode already!
Japanese Language Teacher Shizuka Hiratsuka had veins bulging on her forehead as she loudly read my essay aloud.
Only after hearing it once myself did I realize that the writing still needed work. I felt like some unknown author whose shallow tricks had been seen through, thinking that using difficult words would make him seem smarter.
So this immature essay was why I had been called here?
No, of course not. I knew that perfectly well.
After Hiratsuka-sensei finished reading my essay, she pressed a hand to her forehead and let out a deep sigh.
"Hachiman, do you remember what the essay topic I assigned in class was?"
"...I do. It was 'Reflections on High School Life.'"
"That's right. Then why did you hand in a criminal manifesto? Are you a terrorist or an idiot?"
Hiratsuka-sensei sighed again and swept back her hair as though she had a terrible headache.
Come to think of it, saying "female teacher" as onna kyōshi sounded sexier than saying jo kyōshi.
The moment that thought crossed my mind, I could not help grinning wickedly. The next second, an entire stack of papers came crashing down on me.
"Pay attention."
"Yes."
"Your eyes look like those of a rotten fish."
"Does that mean they're rich in DHA? That sounds pretty intelligent."
The corners of Hiratsuka-sensei's lips rose slightly.
"Hachiman, what is this nonsensical essay supposed to be? I'll generously hear your excuse."
The teacher glared fiercely at me. She was a beauty, but her gaze was so sharp that I could barely breathe. It was terrifying.
"N-no, I did properly reflect on my high school life. Aren't high school students these days all like this? I didn't write anything wrong!"
I was so frightened that I could barely speak clearly. I got nervous even talking to people normally, let alone an older woman.
"The point of this assignment was for you to reflect on your own high school life."
"Then please explain that clearly beforehand. I'll obediently write it properly. This was a flaw in your question."
"You little brat, stop trying to talk your way out of it."
"A brat? Considering your age, I am indeed a brat."
A gust of wind blew through.
It was a fist.
A straight punch came without warning, neatly grazing my cheek.
"The next one won't miss."
The teacher's eyes were utterly serious.
"I'm sorry. I'll rewrite it."
I decided to show my remorse and reflection.
However, Hiratsuka-sensei did not seem satisfied. This was bad. Did I have to kneel and apologize? I straightened my pant legs and smoothed out the wrinkles, bending my right leg as I prepared to kneel gracefully and without hesitation.
"I'm not angry."
Ah... there it was again, that line.
People who said things like that were the biggest pain, just like those who said, "Tell me honestly. I won't get angry." But in all my life, I had never met anyone who truly would not get angry.
Unexpectedly, though, Hiratsuka-sensei really did not seem angry. At least, she was not upset about anything other than her age. I pulled back my half-bent right knee and secretly studied her expression.
Hiratsuka-sensei took out a Seven Stars cigarette from a pocket that looked ready to burst from the strain against her chest. She tapped the filter against the desk like a middle-aged man, packed the tobacco, flicked a hundred-yen lighter with a click, lit the cigarette, exhaled a cloud of smoke, and finally looked at me with a serious expression.
"You don't participate in club activities, do you?"
"No."
"...Do you have any friends?"
Even as she asked, she had already assumed that I did not have any.
"I-I value fairness very highly, so I don't want to become close to any particular person!"
"So you don't have friends?"
"S-simply put, no..."
The moment she heard my answer, Hiratsuka-sensei became full of energy.
"Really? I knew you didn't have any friends! I was completely right! The moment I saw those dead fish eyes of yours, I understood!"
You could tell just by looking at my eyes? Then do not ask, okay?!
Hiratsuka-sensei nodded repeatedly in understanding, then looked at my face again and asked tactfully:
"...Then, do you have something like a girlfriend?"
What did "something like" mean? What would you do if I said I had a boyfriend?
"Not currently."
I had hopes for the future, so I deliberately emphasized "currently."
"Oh..."
This time, there seemed to be tears in the teacher's eyes. I hoped that was just because of the cigarette smoke. Hey, stop that! Do not look at me with such gentle, caring eyes!
More importantly, what was going on here? Was she some kind of hot-blooded teacher? Was she going to call students rotten oranges sooner or later? Or did she want to return to some "hot-blooded school" to teach? If so, I hoped she would go back soon.
Hiratsuka-sensei thought for a while, then let out a long breath of smoke mixed with a sigh.
"Fine, we'll do this. Rewrite your essay."
"Yes."
Just as I expected.
All right, this time I would write something utterly safe and ordinary, like the blog of a gravure idol or voice actress: "Tonight's dinner reveal... curry!" What was there to reveal? There was not even the slightest sense of surprise.
Up to this point, everything was still within my expectations, but what came next was completely beyond them.
"However, your careless words and attitude have deeply hurt me. Has no one taught you not to casually mention a woman's age? Therefore, I demand that you participate in 'service activities.' Those who make mistakes should be punished."
Hiratsuka-sensei looked more excited than usual and seemed more energetic than ever. It was hard to believe that she was truly hurt inside.
Suddenly, I realized that the word "vigorous" sounded a little like "big boobs"... I began escaping reality and looked toward the full chest straining against the teacher's shirt.
This was bad... Still, Hiratsuka-sensei was pretty strange. Why would she be happy just because she could punish a student?
"Service activities... what exactly am I supposed to do?"
I asked timidly. In a situation like this, I felt she might tell me to clean out the gutters or force me to act as a kidnapper.
"Come with me."
The teacher crushed her cigarette into an ashtray piled high with ash, then stood up. With no explanation whatsoever, I froze where I stood. But at the door, the teacher turned back and urged me on.
"Hey, hurry up!"
Hiratsuka-sensei raised her brows and glared. I hurriedly followed after her.
Chiba Municipal Sōbu High School's school building had a somewhat unusual shape.
Viewed from above, the school building resembled the Chinese character for "mouth." Add a multimedia building beneath it, and that was the school's aerial view.
The classroom building and special-purpose building stood on either side of the passageway. Their second floors were connected by corridors, forming a square.
The open space enclosed by the square-shaped school buildings was the vast holy land of Normies—the courtyard.
Once lunch break began, boys and girls would come to the courtyard together to eat lunch, then play badminton to aid digestion. At sunset after school, they would use the school building as a backdrop to flirt, feel the sea breeze, and gaze at the stars.
This was simply outrageous!
To an observer, those people looked like they were desperately acting out a youth idol drama. It was chilling to watch, while my role was something like "tree."
Hiratsuka-sensei's footsteps clicked across the waxed floor as she headed toward the special-purpose building.
—I had a bad feeling about this.
After all, service activities were not going to involve anything good.
The word "service" did not casually appear in daily life. It was only used in certain special circumstances, like a maid serving her master. If it were that kind of service, I would raise both hands and feet and say, "Let's party," but good things like that did not happen in reality... Correction: they could happen if you paid some money. But if you could enjoy it by paying, then there was no point talking about dreams or hope. In short, service was not a good thing.
What was more, we had come to the special-purpose building. Coming here either meant helping move pianos in the music room or sorting garbage in the biology room or books in the library. I had better set up a line of defense first.
"Ah, I have some problems with my lower back... What was it called again? Herni... herpes?"
"You mean a hernia, right? Don't worry, I'm not making you do manual labor."
Hiratsuka-sensei looked at me with contempt.
Hmm, then would it be desk work, like checking documents? In a way, that kind of dull, tedious work was even more exhausting than manual labor. It was like the torture of filling in a hole you had dug, only to dig it out again.
"I have a disease that will kill me if I enter a classroom."
"Who are you, some long-nosed sniper? Did you come from the Straw Hat Pirates?"
You read shōnen manga?!
Well, I did not mind burying myself in work alone. All I had to do was turn off the switch in my heart and tell myself that I was a machine. If things continued like this, I might end up pursuing a mechanized body and eventually become a screw.
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