My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected / My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"Hehe... The point of an obstacle race isn't to clear the hurdles, but to reach the finish line in the shortest time possible. Besides, there's no rule saying you absolutely have to jump over them. You could just—"

"Enough. I understand what you mean."

I had not even finished saying that pushing the hurdles aside, kicking them away, or crawling underneath them would all work just fine when Yukino interrupted me.

"We got the method and the objective mixed up, right?"

...It did not feel very satisfying, but Yukino had put my point into words perfectly, so I could only nod helplessly and continue.

"These are cookies you made yourself. If you don't emphasize the fact that they're handmade, there's no point. Even if the other person receives something as polished as bakery cookies, they won't be especially happy. They'd be better off tasting a little worse."

After hearing me out, Yukino did not seem convinced.

"They should taste worse?"

"That's right. If you tell him they didn't turn out well but you worked really hard on them, he'll misunderstand and think, She went to all that trouble for me... How tragic."

"It can't be that simple..."

Yuihama looked at me skeptically, her eyes seemingly saying, "What is this virgin talking about?"

Hah, I had no choice. I would have to tell a convincing story.

"...This is a story about a friend of a friend. Back then, that guy had just entered his second year of middle school. At the beginning of the new term, the class elected its officers during homeroom, but everyone was in their chunibyou phase, so naturally none of the boys wanted to be Class Representative. In the end, they had to draw lots. Since that guy was born unlucky, he naturally became Class Representative. After taking the position, he had to run the homeroom in the teacher's place and choose a female Class Representative. For a shy, timid, inexperienced young boy, it was an enormous burden."

"Those descriptions all mean the same thing, and your introduction is way too long."

"Just listen. At the time, a girl volunteered to be Class Representative. She was very cute. Luckily, that settled the male and female representatives. The girl said a little shyly, 'Please take care of me this coming year.' After that, she would occasionally talk to the boy, and he began to think, Huh? Could she like me? Come to think of it, after I became Class Representative, she immediately volunteered too, and she talks to me all the time. She has to like me! It did not take long for the boy to settle on that conclusion. About a week, give or take."

"That fast?!"

Yuihama, who had been nodding along the whole time, cried out in surprise.

"Idiot, love has nothing to do with age or time. Then, one day after school, the teacher asked the Class Representative to help collect the handouts. He decided that would be the moment to confess to the girl."

"Um, do you have someone you like?"

"What~~? No~~"

"Answering like that means you do! Who is it?"

"...Who do you think it is?"

"How would I know? Give me a hint, a hint!"

"How am I supposed to give you a hint?"

"Ah, tell me the first letter in Roman letters. Either your family name or given name is fine, please!"

"Hmm~~ I guess I can."

"Really? Great! What is it?"

"...H."

"Huh... Could it be... me?"

"Huh? What? No way. That's so gross. Could you not say things like that?"

"Ah, haha, y-you're right. I was joking."

"No, that was a terrible joke... We're done here, so I'm leaving."

"Oh, okay..."

"After that, I was left alone in the classroom, crying as I watched the sunset. Even worse, when I came to school the next day, the whole class already knew about it."

"So it was the shut-in's story..."

Yuihama looked away with a slightly apologetic expression.

"Hey, are you stupid? When did I say it was my story? There was just a slight misunderstanding in the narration."

Yukino completely ignored my excuse and sighed in annoyance.

"The moment you said it was a 'friend of a friend's story,' you gave yourself away, didn't you? You don't have any friends."

"W-What did you say?!"

"Those wounds are irrelevant. What exactly are you trying to say?"

Who said they were irrelevant? Because of that incident, girls disliked me even more, while the boys teased me all day and gave me the nickname Narciss Valley. Whatever. None of that mattered.

I composed myself and continued.

"What I mean is that boys are so simple it's almost tragic. Just having someone talk to them can make them get the wrong idea, and receiving handmade cookies makes them ridiculously happy. So..."

I paused briefly and looked at Yuihama.

"Cookies that aren't special at all, that crumble into bits when you eat them, and honestly don't taste very good are enough."

"Shut uuuup~~~~!"

Yuihama's face flushed bright red as she grabbed a plastic bag and some napkins from nearby and threw them at me. She was throwing things that would not hurt. She really was kind. Huh? Could she have a crush on me? Oh, obviously that was a joke. How could I repeat the same mistake?

"You're so annoying! You shut-in! I'm leaving!"

Yuihama glared fiercely at me, snatched up her schoolbag, stood, tossed back her head, and strode toward the door, her shoulders trembling faintly with anger.

Crap, I might have gone too far. If more bad rumors about me started spreading around class, that would be a problem. So I hurriedly tried to soothe Yuihama.

"Um... If you show that you're trying hard, boys will waver."

Yuihama turned around at the doorway, but the backlighting kept me from seeing her expression.

"...Would a shut-in waver too?"

"Huh? Oh~~ I waver super easily. Just being treated kindly makes me fall in love. Also, don't call me a shut-in."

"Hmph!"

I brushed it off casually, and Yuihama responded just as casually before turning away again. As she was about to open the door and leave, Yukino called out to her back.

"Yuihama-san, what will you do about this request?"

"Never mind! Next time, I'll try it my own way. Yukino, thank you."

Yuihama turned around with a smile on her face.

"See you tomorrow. Bye-bye."

This time, she waved and truly left the classroom, still wearing her apron.

"...Was that really all right?"

Yukino stared at the door and asked quietly.

"I think that as long as someone can improve themselves, they should keep challenging their limits. In the end, it helped Yuihama-san too."

"Yes, you're right. Effort never betrays you, though it may betray your dreams."

"What's the difference?"

Yukino turned to ask me. A light breeze brushed her cheeks, sending the hair by her face fluttering.

"Putting in effort doesn't necessarily mean your dreams will come true. More often than not, they won't. But if you tried your best, you can at least feel a little better about it."

"That's nothing more than self-satisfaction."

"But it isn't betraying yourself."

"What an innocent thought... It makes me uncomfortable."

"Society is far too harsh on me, and that includes you. So at the very least, I should be a little kinder to myself. Everyone should be kinder to themselves. If everyone falls into ruin, then no one counts as ruined."

"This is the first time I've met an idealist with such negative thinking... If your ideas became popular, the Earth would definitely be destroyed."

Yukino's face was full of exasperation, but I rather liked that idea. Someday, I would build a NEET nation where NEETs existed, NEETs ruled, and NEETs enjoyed themselves, called "NEET-ria"... Though it would probably collapse in three days.

I had finally figured out what the Service Club did.

Simply put, it accepted student consultations and helped solve their problems. However, the club did not seem to be publicly known, since I had never heard of it before. No, no, no, it was not because I was unfamiliar with the school. Judging from the fact that even Yuihama did not properly understand the club's purpose, people who came here for advice seemed to learn about it through a certain channel. That channel was Hiratsuka-sensei.

Every so often, she brought students with problems or worries here.

To put it bluntly, this was an isolation ward.

I sat in this recuperation room as usual, reading a book.

Consultation meant exposing one's vulnerable side. For sentimental high school students, doing that in front of someone from the same school was incredibly difficult. Yuihama had only visited the Service Club because Hiratsuka-sensei introduced her to it. Otherwise, no one would come here at all.

Just like today, there were no visitors. Business was remarkably slow.

Both Yukino and I could tolerate silence, so whenever we focused on reading, the room became extremely quiet.

That was why the "knock, knock, knock" at the door sounded especially loud.

"Hiiiii~~"

Yuihama Yui greeted us in a strange manner as she pulled the door open. Neither of us knew what to say.

I moved my gaze from her bare legs beneath her short skirt to the open collar of her shirt. She was as usual, apparently a complete slut.

Yukino let out a long sigh upon seeing her.

"...Is something wrong?"

"Huh? What? You two seem like you don't welcome me. Could it be that Yukino... hates me?"

Yuihama's shoulders jerked at Yukino's mutter. Yukino, meanwhile, adopted a thoughtful expression and answered in her usual tone.

"I don't hate you... I'm simply a little troubled."

"When girls say that, doesn't it mean they hate you?"

Yuihama panicked. She seemed to hate the idea of being disliked. She looked like a slut, but her reaction was that of an utterly ordinary girl.

"So, what is it you need?"

"No, you know how I've gotten into cooking lately, right?"

"...How could I possibly know? This is the first I've heard of it."

"This is my thank-you for last time. I made some cookies myself and brought them for everyone to try."

Yukino's face instantly drained of color. When it came to Yuihama's cooking, the first thing that came to mind was those cookies black as iron lumps. The moment I remembered them, my throat and heart began to dry out.

"No, thank you. I'm not very hungry right now, but I appreciate the thought."

I was pretty sure Yukino had lost her appetite the instant she heard the word "cookies." Not saying that outright was her own form of kindness.

However, Yuihama paid no attention to Yukino's refusal and hummed to herself as she pulled a cellophane-wrapped package from her bag. The wrapping was very cute, but the cookies inside were still burnt pitch-black.

"Ahh~~ Cooking is so fun! Next time, I should try making a lunchbox. Ah, when I do, Yukino, let's eat lunch together!"

"No, I prefer eating alone... Also, 'Yukino' sounds strange with that nickname. Don't call me that."

"Seriously? Wouldn't that be lonely? Yukino, where do you usually eat?"

"In the clubroom... Wait, are you even listening to me?"

"Also, since I have nothing to do after school anyway, I'll help out with club activities. Ah, how should I put it? This is part of my thanks too, so you don't need to worry about it."

"...Are you listening to me?"

Yuihama's assault came like a tidal wave, and Yukino was clearly at a loss. She kept giving me meaningful looks, probably asking me to do something.

But why should I help her?

Yukino was always saying nasty things to me, and she still had not paid me back for the drinks... Besides, Yuihama was her friend. Honestly, Yuihama was thanking Yukino because Yukino had seriously helped solve her problem. In that case, she had both the right and the obligation to accept the thanks. If I interfered, I would be the one in the wrong.

I closed my paperback, quietly stood up, and said, almost too softly to hear, "Good work," before preparing to leave the clubroom.

"Hey, shut-in."

I turned around and saw a black object fly toward my face, so I reflexively caught it.

"That's my thank-you, since you helped too."

It was a heart-shaped black unidentified object that seemed to radiate murderous intent. Though it did not feel very lucky, it was someone's gift of thanks, so I had no choice but to accept it gratefully.

Also, don't call me a shut-in.

Hachiman Hikigaya