Yuihama had said it casually, but depending on who heard it, it could also be taken as contempt: "You mean you can't do it?"
Unfortunately, someone present interpreted it exactly that way.
"...Hmph, you're getting more eloquent by the day. Never mind that guy—you actually dare challenge me."
Yukino grinned. Ah, that strange switch inside her had flipped again... No matter what kind of challenge she faced, she accepted it head-on and crushed her opponent with everything she had. Even if they had not provoked her, she showed no mercy. Even someone like me, as non-resistant as Gandhi, got thoroughly beaten down by her.
"Fine, Totsuka-kun, I'll accept your request. All I need to do is improve your tennis skills, correct?"
"Y-yes, that's right. I-I think if I get stronger, everyone will cheer each other on."
Intimidated by Yukino's forceful gaze, Totsuka answered from behind me. He timidly poked his head out over my shoulder to look at Yukino, his face full of fear and anxiety. He looked like a trembling rabbit, making me want to put him in a bunny girl outfit.
Still, it was terrifying that the Ice Queen had agreed to help. It would not have surprised me if she had said, "I can help you, but the price is your life." Are you a witch or something?
To ease Totsuka's anxiety, I stepped forward and shielded him behind me.
As soon as I got close to Totsuka, I caught a scent mixed with shampoo and antiperspirant. It was the indescribable fragrance of a high school girl. What brand of shampoo did he use?
"It's great that you're helping, but how exactly are you going to do it?"
"Didn't I just say? Don't you remember? If you lack confidence in your memory, I suggest taking notes at all times."
"Hey, you were serious about that..."
I recalled Yukino's earlier speech about training someone to death. She smiled as though to say, You're quite clever. That smile was terrifying...
The color drained from Totsuka's face again, and his body began trembling nonstop.
"Am I going to die...?"
"Don't worry. I'll protect you."
I patted Totsuka on the shoulder, and his cheeks flushed as he gazed at me lovingly.
"Hikigaya-kun... do you really mean that?"
"No, sorry. I just wanted to try saying it."
Among the lines every guy most wanted to say at least once, that ranked third. For the record, first place was, "You guys go on ahead. Leave this to me."
There was no way I could beat Yukino, so I could not protect anyone at all. Still, if I did not crack a joke, I could not ease Totsuka's anxiety.
Totsuka sighed and puffed out his cheeks.
"Hikigaya-kun, you often say things that make no sense, but..."
"Right. Totsuka-kun has club practice after school, doesn't he? Then we'll do special training during lunch break. Everyone, gather at the tennis court."
"Got it~~"
Yuihama finally finished filling out her club application and handed it in as she answered loudly. Totsuka nodded as well.
In that case...
"So... do I have to go too?"
"Of course. It's not like you have anything to do during lunch break, right?"
...You are absolutely correct.
×
Yukino's Devil Training was scheduled to begin at noon the next day.
What? I had to go too?
When it came down to it, wasn't the Service Club just a group that gathered weak people together and let them loaf around in a greenhouse until they died? It recruited useless people and gave them a comfortable place to hide—wasn't that all it did?
Then what made this any different from the youth I despised?
Maybe Hiratsuka-sensei really intended to turn this place into a sanatorium and cure our illnesses.
But if they could be cured so easily, would we have gotten sick in the first place?
Yukino was the same. I did not know what illness she had, but there was no way she could cure it here.
The only way my wounds could heal was for Totsuka to become a girl. If Totsuka and I developed some kind of rom-com through tennis, things might turn out differently.
As far as I was concerned, the cutest person in the world was Totsuka Saika. He was straightforward, kind to me, and if we could carefully nurture the seeds of love together, I might genuinely grow as a person.
But... he was a guy! God really was a huge idiot!
Savoring that small sense of despair, I nevertheless changed into my tracksuit and headed for the tennis court. I would stake everything on that faint hope—maybe Totsuka really was a girl!
The second-year tracksuit was a pale fluorescent blue that stood out terribly. The color was so hideous that almost no students bought it. Outside P.E. classes and club activities, no one wanted to wear it.
Everyone else wore their uniforms, making me stand out like a sore thumb.
As a result, I got caught by someone troublesome.
"Ha~~ ha, ha, ha, ha, Hachiman!"
"Don't connect my name to your laughter..."
Sobu High School's grounds were enormous, but there was no one besides Zaimokuza who could produce such a disgusting laugh. He crossed his arms over his chest and blocked my way.
"What a coincidence, meeting you here. I was just about to bring you my New Work manuscript. Come, feast your eyes upon it!"
"Ah, sorry, I'm kind of busy right now."
I slipped past Zaimokuza and ignored the papers he held out, but he lightly grabbed my shoulder.
"...Don't tell such a sad lie. How could you possibly be busy?"
"I'm not lying! And you're the last person who gets to say that."
Why did everyone say the same thing? Did I really look that free? Well... I actually was pretty free.
"Hmph, I understand. Hachiman, you tell a small lie to save face, then tell more lies to keep that lie from being exposed. In the end, you repeat the process endlessly and tragically fall into the Infinite Spiral of Deception. But the end of that spiral is emptiness. More specifically, human relationships are emptiness. Turn back while you can! Don't worry, you once helped me. This time, I'll help you!"
That was the second-place line on the list of things every guy wanted to say at least once. He gave me a thumbs-up and struck a cool pose, which was incredibly irritating.
"I really do have something to do..."
My anger had reached the point where I could feel my facial muscles stiffening, but I still had to explain the situation to Zaimokuza.
Then—
"Hikigaya-kun!"
With that energetic high-pitched voice, Totsuka ran over and hugged my arm.
"Perfect timing. Let's go together, okay?"
"Y-yeah..."
Totsuka had a tennis bag slung over his left shoulder, while his right hand was somehow holding my left hand. Why?
"H-Hachiman... th-this person is...?"
Zaimokuza stared back and forth between Totsuka and me with a stunned expression. His face gradually changed into something strangely familiar. Ah, I remembered—it was kabuki, wasn't it? His eyes widened, and he reached a conclusion as though he were about to cry, "Yoooh~~ dong dong dong!"
"Y-you bastard, you betrayed me!"
"What do you mean, betrayed...?"
"Silence! Half-baked Handsome Guy! Failed Pretty Boy! I pitied you because you were lonely, and now you're getting carried away..."
"The 'half-baked' and 'failed' parts were unnecessary."
The lonely part was true, though. I could not deny that.
Zaimokuza glared at me with a twisted expression, muttering under his breath.
"I'll never forgive you..."
"Zaimokuza, calm down. Totsuka isn't a girl. He's a guy... right?"
"W-w-w-w-what nonsense! How could someone this cute possibly be a guy?!"
Hearing the uncertainty in my own voice only made him lose it further.
"Totsuka is cute, sure, but he really is a guy."
"Don't... say I'm cute like that... it makes me a little uncomfortable."
Standing beside me, Totsuka turned away with flushed cheeks.
"Is he... Hikigaya-kun's... friend?"
"Uh, how should I put this..."
"Hmph! A guy like you is not worthy of being my rival."
Zaimokuza began sulking. Ugh, what a pain...
Still, I could understand how he felt. Learning that someone you thought shared your sensibilities actually possessed completely different ones really did bring a lonely feeling of betrayal.
What could I say at times like this to repair the relationship? Unfortunately, I rarely interacted with other people, so I did not know the answer. Still, I felt a little sad too. Maybe this guy and I had been kindred spirits in some way, and I had thought that someday we could understand each other with smiles. But that would never happen.
A friendship that required watching the other person's mood, pleasing them, staying in contact, matching their conversation topics, and exhausting yourself just to maintain it was not friendship at all. If that troublesome process was called youth, then I did not want it.
That was no different from happily spending time in a stagnant group and gaining satisfaction from it. It was deception, a sin that had to be rejected.
...Putting that aside, Zaimokuza's jealousy was really difficult to deal with.
To prove my own correctness and justice, I decided to walk the path of solitude.
"Totsuka, let's go."
I grabbed Totsuka's arm, but after answering, "Ah, okay...," he did not move.
"Your name is Zaimokuza, right?"
Zaimokuza looked slightly surprised at Totsuka's question, but he nodded.
"If you're Hikigaya-kun's friend, then you can probably be my friend too, right? I'd be happy if you were. I really don't have many friends of the same gender."
Totsuka said it with a bashful smile.
"Hah... heh—heh, heh, heh, heh! Hachiman and I are indeed good friends—no, brothers. No, no, no, I am the master and he is the servant... Well, it can't be helped. Since you put it that way, I'll be your... th-that..."friend." Or, if you want, I could be your boyfriend instead."
"Um... I don't think that would work. Let's just be friends."
"I see... Hey, Hachiman, do you think he likes me? Is this what they call Love Fortune? Is my Love Fortune finally arriving?"
Zaimokuza suddenly leaned close and whispered in my ear.
...Zaimokuza really was not my friend.
Anyone whose attitude changed completely the moment he became friends with a beautiful girl could not possibly be my friend.
"...Totsuka, let's go. Yukino will blow up if we're late."
"Mm, that won't do. Let's hurry. That girl... is really scary."
With that, Zaimokuza followed behind Totsuka and me, apparently becoming one of our companions as well. From an outsider's perspective, the way we walked in a line probably resembled a Dragon Quest party... No, rather than Dragon Quest, we were more like the Great Poverty God from Momotaro Dentetsu.
×
Yukino and Yuihama were already at the tennis court.
Yukino was still in her uniform, while only Yuihama had changed into her tracksuit.
They had probably been eating lunch there. Seeing us arrive, they quickly put away their small lunch boxes.
"Then let's begin."
"P-please take care of me."
Totsuka bowed to Yukino.
"First, we will improve the muscle strength Totsuka-kun lacks most. Biceps, deltoids, pectorals, abdominals, external obliques, back muscles, thigh muscles—push-ups work all of these areas overall, so... In short, try doing them until you're nearly dead."
"Wow, Yukino is so smart... Wait, until nearly dead?"
"That's right. After muscles are damaged, they repair themselves. Each time they recover, they build fibers stronger than before. This is called Supercompensation. In other words, training until you are nearly dead will rapidly improve your muscle strength."
"Come on, it's not like he's a Saiyan..."
"Your muscles will not grow immediately, but this kind of training helps improve your Basal Metabolic Rate."
"Basal Metabolic Rate?"
Yuihama tilted her head, a question mark practically appearing above it. Yukino looked slightly taken aback, as though asking, You don't even know that? But rather than scolding Yuihama, it was faster to explain, so she added briefly:
"Simply put, it means making your body better suited to exercise. If your Basal Metabolic Rate rises, you burn calories more easily. To put it more technically, it improves the efficiency of Energy Conversion."
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